


Inhibition

by diamondbaek



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Artist!Jongin, Fluff, M/M, Smut, idol!Baekhyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-06-30 07:12:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 55,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15746847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diamondbaek/pseuds/diamondbaek
Summary: Everyday on his way to work, Byun Baekhyun can’t help but look down through the little window giving in to an artist's studio. He’s mesmerized by his art. But one week, for five consecutive days, Baekhyun finds the small studio unlit, and the artist sitting at his desk with a dull expression. So Baekhyun leaves him a letter, taped to the small window. The next day, he leaves a flower. And so begins the story of an artist and his anonymous muse.





	Inhibition

**Author's Note:**

> HI~ Wow it took me a very long time to finish this fic because I kept putting it off but KaiBaek are my ults so writing this fic was really fun and I'm pretty sure it will always hold a special place in my heart. The prompt caught my eye the very first time the mods showed a preview for it so to the prompter out there, good job!
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading the fic~  
> I apologize for any grammar mistakes or spelling errors. I didn't have time to edit this. I already submitted late >~<

Baekhyun had always appreciated art – all forms of it. 

Art that could be found in a dance, a song, a painting; even sometimes, though only rarely, art that could be found in people and the way they lived their lives. 

So, he had not complained when their manager had told him that they’d be attending an art gallery opening somewhere in the city. It was dedicated to young artists with lots of potential and was partnered with a brand he had modeled for in the past. It was pretty obvious why he had to go. 

But when Baekhyun saw _him,_ he wondered if the universe had invited him for a whole different reason. 

Thankfully, after the initial shock of fans and reporters to see him arrive and an overwhelming welcome and amount of pictures taken, they had left him alone to mingle. His manager stayed a healthy distance away, letting Baekhyun talk to the people who made conversation with him. 

For the first hour, that’s all he did, mingle, take pictures and promote. He barely had any time to look at what had brought him there in the first place. But as more people started arriving, the attention drifted away from him and Baekhyun was thankful for the breath of air. 

He went around the spacious gallery, stopping now and then to take a picture with someone and be introduced and say his greetings. He stopped to look at paintings now and then, too and tried to guess what they possibly meant. Sometimes he took thinking about the meaning about each seriously, sometimes he’d make an amusing comment about it but only shared it with himself, doubting there was anyone there but his manager that would get his humor. 

Baekhyun wished his band mates and friends, Jongdae and Minseok had gone with him but they had insisted that this event was a solo thing for him. 

He sighed at the thought. 

Baekhyun’s been staring at the same painting for ten minutes now, admiring the vibrant colors that sang to him with a tune that he couldn’t yet decide on what it told him exactly. The style was familiar and it had struck him the moment he laid eyes on it where he had seen it before. 

For the past months, Baekhyun had taken it upon himself to walk the short distance between his company building and the apartment where he, Minseok, Jongdae and the managers lived. And in that short distance he always passed by an artist’s studio. 

Through the open windows, Baekhyun would always see works in progress a few meters away, cans of paint scattered at the foot of the easel. Other times a beautiful painting would be put beside the open windows to dry under the sun and Baekhyun would study it for a few minutes before continuing on his way. 

They were, all of them, beautiful. Each and every one of those paintings struck a chord in Baekhyun’s soul so much like the way music did and he was left to wonder if that was because the artist ha d poured out all his emotions and feelings into the painting the way Baekhyun poured his in a song. 

Despite the large amount of paintings Baekhyun had seen come and go in that studio, he had never seen their maker, the artist that could paint such beautiful, beautiful images. 

It must have been fate or some other otherworldly force from the universe that brought Baekhyun there to that gallery just as that artist had finally decided to put out his art. Because that was their painting displayed, Baekhyun was sure of it. 

He had seen enough of his work to know. 

And it was a ‘ _he’_ that made the paintings Baekhyun mused as he beheld the name of the artist and the painting itself hung beneath the painting, a little bit to the right. 

_Contentment_ by _Kim Jong In_

So that was his name, Baekhyun smiled to himself. It was like an answer to a question he hadn’t noticed he’d been asking for a long time. 

“What do you think of it?” 

A slightly amused voice asked him from behind, pulling Baekhyun out of his thoughts and making him look over a shoulder. 

A man approached him, a smile on those gorgeously full lips. In fact, everything about him seemed to be gorgeous, from the bright, sparkling eyes alight with amusement to his long, graceful legs that took slow steps forward – toward Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun briefly wondered if the man before him was an idol or an actor, at least, with that face of his. But the way he moved, the way he stalked over… 

A dancer maybe? Or a model? 

Baekhyun blinked away the thoughts, smiling back politely. 

“I think it’s beautiful. Then again, everything in here is beautiful,” Baekhyun said as the stranger moved to stand beside him to look at the painting. He was taller than Baekhyun and he smelled _amazing_. 

“I don’t understand why it’s called ‘ _Contentment’,_ though,” Baekhyun mused more to himself than to his sudden companion, glancing at the name plate before studying the painting again. 

“There’s just a vibrant city on a hill, and, farther away, a castle half-hidden in clouds,” he continued, noticing that the stranger had angled his head to look at Baekhyun as he talked. 

The stranger hummed a deep sound that likely reverberated across his chest and had Baekhyun glancing up at him. 

“Notice how the colors are much more – ,” he paused in the middle of the sentence, as if looking for the right word to say. “Alive, I suppose would fit. The colors used to paint the city, the bridge, from where the point of view is, is _alive_ with color, you see?” 

He raised a hand, pointing to the areas he had mentioned and Baekhyun nodded in understanding, trying to guess at the point he was trying to make. 

“Now, look at the castle on top of the hill, see how dull it looks.” 

Baekhyun did as he was told, compared the village to the castle high above and saw that it was muted – beautiful, yes, in all its splendor and glory, but muted and dull compared to the city bustling with life. 

“The painting shows how the painter or, the viewer at least, is _content_ ,” he put emphasis on the word as he spoke. “Content, where he is and is alright with not reaching that dull and splendid castle in the sky.” 

Baekhyun could see what the stranger was talking about, could now understand, even by just a bit, why it was called what it was called. 

“Maybe the castle and foggy like that, covered by dull colors to show the illusion of contentment and hide the fact that the viewer just can’t reach the top, no matter what he does and has to force that feel of contentment where he is, hence the overbearing bright colors.” 

The stranger raised his eyebrows at that, surprise and pleasant approval etched in his face before he smiled bright and unrelenting. 

“Or maybe it’s just foggy at the top of the mountain and it’s gonna rain in a few hours,” Baekhyun joked, making the stranger let out a huff of laughter. 

“Maybe,” he chuckled. “I keep forgetting how a work of art can be viewed differently by different people. I always just get consumed in my own imagination of my own paintings. It’s refreshing to hear the thoughts of others on it.” 

Baekhyun just stared at him as he rambled on, not really understanding what he meant. He did have the courteousness to look like he wasn’t confused. 

“Disregarding the title,” the man started, turning to Baekhyun earnestly. “What do you think of it? Is it to your liking?” 

“It is really beautiful and the style is a nice break from all the modern art with all its vagueness my brain can’t even begin to understand. The artist did a great job,” Baekhyun found himself nodding as he said the words. 

“Why, thank you,” the stranger grinned broadly. 

“For what?” 

“For thinking my painting is beautiful.” 

Baekhyun took a step back in surprise to study the stranger more clearly. 

“Your painting?” Baekhyun glanced back to the name plate. “ _You’re_ Kim Jongin?” 

Another slight raise of those eyebrows and a mellow laugh. 

“Why are you so surprised?” Jongin laughed pleasantly. “Yes, I’m Kim Jongin. It’s very nice to meet you, Genius Idol, Byun Baekhyun.” 

Baekhyun flushed at the title. 

“How –,” Baekhyun began but shook his head, understanding well how Jongin knew him. Not because he was being arrogant with his fame but his name had been shouted again and again the moment he had arrived at the venue. It would have been difficult _not_ to hear. 

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” Baekhyun smiled. 

“You wouldn’t mind taking a picture with me, would you?” Jongin grinned at him, already fishing his phone out of his pocket. “It’s not every day I get to meet with a celebrity.” 

“Go ahead.” 

They posed for a few selfies on Jongin’s phone and a part of Baekhyun wanted to take some on his own phone, too, but he knew better than to be selfish that way. 

People were filing into the hall where Jongin and Baekhyun stood admiring the art and they, very conspicuously, moved to avoid the crowd, keeping each other company. 

“How many paintings do you have up in here?” Baekhyun found himself asking as they walked along, stopping now and again to talk to acquaintances of either him or Jongin. 

“Only a fair few,” Jongin answered, sliding his hands into his pockets, strolling on casually, gracefully even, as if he was determined to make the hall his own personal runway. Baekhyun only watched him on amusedly. He rarely got to know people out of the industry – rarely got to go out and make new friends. 

“What’s the most precious thing here, then?” Baekhyun asked him again, looking around. They had gotten to an area where there were vases and sculptures along with the paintings. He had long forgotten to think up their meanings, choosing rather to study Kim Jongin as they made idle conversation. 

“Why? Thinking of stealing?” Jongin teased with a lazy smile on his face. 

“I have more money than I know what to do with,” Baekhyun snorted. “Stealing wouldn’t really be in my best interest.” 

Jongin watched him and he could’ve sworn that there was pity in those eyes as they landed on Baekhyun. As if Jongin could guess how being a famous idol had both its pros and cons. 

Baekhyun winced at himself, only now realizing what he had said. 

Ungrateful – he was being ungrateful. 

Of course he loved being an idol. Loved all of his fans and the fact he got to perform on a shining, bright stage. It was his dream. 

Only he hadn’t dreamt it with the amount of limitations and lack of privacy. 

“I’d say I’m looking at the most precious thing here,” Jongin cocked his head as he studied Baekhyun. It was a teasing kind of smile there on his lips. 

Baekhyun didn’t even try to hide the blush as he looked away, his heart pounding at the words. 

“That’s very kind of you to say,” Baekhyun responded, trying to keep as cool as possible. 

Jongin let out a laugh before nudging him with a shoulder. 

“I’m just messing with you,” he grinned at Baekhyun and it made his head swim. 

Thankfully – mercifully – someone from behind Jongin began waving Baekhyun over. When Baekhyun could finally focus his gaze on anyone other than Kim Jongin, he noticed that it was his manager, waving at him and then tapping at his watch, signaling that it was time to go. 

Jongin noticed that Baekhyun’s attention was elsewhere and turned around to see what had snagged it. 

“I guess you have to leave now, huh?” Jongin mused, glancing back at Baekhyun who gave him a pleasant smile before nodding. 

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Kim Jongin,” Baekhyun said, fixing the lapels of his jacket as he smiled. 

“It was nice to meet you, too.” Jongin gave him another heart-fluttering, boyish smile before walking away. 

Baekhyun’s eyes trailed after him for a few more seconds before walking over to his manager and soon leaving the venue. 

And as he reached the dorms, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he really wished he could’ve talked to Kim Jongin more. 

A few weeks had passed since that gallery opening party and by some weird miracle the window that Baekhyun had passed by every day that had not shown him the artist beyond it now always shone the light on Kim Jongin. As if, now that Baekhyun was aware of whom he was, it was normal to see him there every day. 

Some days he’d see Jongin hauling paints over to his blank canvas, wearing a shirt already stained with so much paint that Baekhyun was sure that no matter how many times he might wash it, the paint will never actually fade away. Other days he’d see the artist behind his desk, a sweater on (sometimes paired with spectacles Baekhyun knew was just for style), drinking coffee and reading a book. 

They’d bumped into each other only once during the times Baekhyun had decided to walk to the company building and it was pleasant and normal – and Baekhyun, the idol, had no idea why but he was nervous as heck during the whole conversation. 

Baekhyun had hopped down the last few steps to the pavement, feeling a bit cheery and not entirely ready to face another day of dance practice and recordings that would surely drain his energy by the end of the day. 

Minseok and Jongdae had still been eating breakfast when he announced to no one in particular that he was going to go on ahead. 

“You’re always leaving so early these days,” Minseok mused as Baekhyun slipped his shoes on in the foyer. “I seriously envy you kids’ energy.” 

The second statement had been said in a joking sigh that had both Baekhyun and Jongdae chuckling. 

“You’re literally just a few years older than me,” Baekhyun reminded him, opening the door and walking out into the hallway. 

“Still older,” Minseok called out from inside and Baekhyun shook his head in amusement as he went on his way. 

Walking outside alone wasn’t really advisable for idols like him but he’d been walking the same path for a few months now, he figured the fans that had spotted him by now respected his privacy and for that he was grateful. 

Still, that didn’t stop him from putting on a mask on the lower part of his face, both to cover him from the dust flying around and the prying eyes of someone who might not care for his precious privacy. 

After a few minutes, Baekhyun spotted the familiar two-storey building and the studio that lay on the first floor down the street. As the days passed he’d learned to look forward to what he might see there, a new painting by the windows or an artist splashed in paint as he worked intently on a piece. 

But as he neared he noticed that the lights were turned off which were unusual but had happened before. Baekhyun swallowed the disappointment and tried not to look as if he were peering in as he passed. He turned his head in the direction of the window just as a person rounded the corner. 

The movement drew Baekhyun’s gaze and stopped his breath when he recognized him in a blink. 

The artist was studying him curiously as he neared and for a split second Baekhyun debated crossing the street to avoid the interaction. 

Kim Jongin was a few feet away now and Baekhyun could not bring himself to move. 

“May I help you?” Jongin asked him politely, cocking his head to the side, his eyebrows rose endearingly. Baekhyun had noticed that he did that a lot during the party too. 

“No – I,” Baekhyun stuttered, clearing his throat. “I was just passing by.” 

Jongin blinked at him in surprise as if only now starting to recognize who he was. Baekhyun had hoped he wouldn’t. 

“Byun Baekhyun,” Jongin breathed, breaking into a dazzling smile that made Baekhyun’s heart jump. “It’s nice to see you again. What are you doing here?” 

He pulled the mask covering his mouth down and offered Jongin a smile of his own as he fought to control his nerves. 

“Just an early morning walk to the building. Our apartment is so close it seemed stupid to use the car. ” 

Baekhyun winced when he realized what he said. 

_Stupid to reveal that he lived near. He didn’t even know the man, not really._

But Jongin, mercifully, didn’t show any indication that he had interest in the information Baekhyun had just let slip, just that polite smile still on his face. 

“Can I expect you to pass by here more often then? This is actually my studio – where I painted those paintings you saw at the exhibit.” Jongin pointed to the studio Baekhyun knew all too well was his. 

Baekhyun nodded, feigning a slight interest, pretending that that information was new to him. 

“That’s why the painting style on a piece by the window I spotted the other day seemed familiar. Who knew I’d run into you here,” Baekhyun lied but the bright smile he gave him next was nowhere near faked as he felt it stretch across his face. 

“Would you like to go inside?” 

Jongin stepped up the front steps and urged Baekhyun to follow. “I could get us some coffee while you look around.” 

Baekhyun could see that the offer was genuine and that there was no hint of wanting to brag in those eyes and his kind voice but Baekhyun stepped back. 

“Maybe next time,” Baekhyun smiled sheepishly at Jongin. “I really need to get going.” 

Jongin nodded in understanding but Baekhyun could have sworn he looked just a bit put out. 

“Alright. Next time, though. Promise?” 

Baekhyun chuckled under his breath, rolling his eyes good-naturedly at the man. 

“Promise.” 

During the days following that encounter Baekhyun was so busy preparing for their comeback that he was too exhausted to go on his daily walks, making that ‘next time’ wait longer than he had intended. 

He had wanted to use his day off to relax in their dorm apartment, just playing games and lounging around but he couldn’t get the artist off his mind so he set off on the walk, claiming to his two band mates that he merely wanted to go get some coffee and had even taken their own orders to bring back home. 

Baekhyun could hear his own heart beating in his ears as he neared that familiar studio only to find it once again with its lights turned off. 

But as Baekhyun peered in, he noticed that the studio wasn’t empty at all. 

No, the artist was there, sitting on a stool with his expression as blank and empty as the canvas sitting before him. Baekhyun should’ve turned away but he couldn’t pull away as Jongin lowered his head and that was sadness flickering in his eyes. 

Sadness and grief. 

Sadness and grief that probably made him grab the open can of paint by his feet and hurl it at the canvas, some of it splashing on him and on the wooden floors and papers scattered. 

A whoosh of air escaped Baekhyun in a gasp as he witnessed something he probably shouldn’t have as the artist stepped off the stool, hurl another can and then another before kicking away the easel before sinking to his knees to weep, burying his face in his hands. 

Baekhyun finally turned away, guilt pooling in his stomach at having witnessed something so vulnerable but there was sadness there too for the artist he didn’t know. 

But he continued on walking and could only hope for the best for Kim Jongin. 

Baekhyun wanted to leave him be but he couldn’t. He couldn’t get the image of Jongin weeping from his mind. 

So he found excuses to go on that walk every day despite how busy he was, no matter what time it was in the day, any chance he could take, he walked down to that studio to see how the artist was doing. 

And it broke his heart to see the studio with its lights closed, Jongin sometimes just sitting behind his desk, his head resting on his arms, sometimes he seemed like he wanted to paint but couldn’t bring himself to, staring blankly at a canvas, sometimes the lights were turned on in a different room above the studio, the artist nowhere to be seen. 

By the seventh day, Baekhyun couldn’t take it and began thinking of ways to help him. He couldn’t possibly know what was wrong and he couldn’t bring himself to ask without revealing that he was watching for a few days now, like a creepy stalker. 

For the whole day, Baekhyun agonized over what to do so much so that his manager had even commented on his weird silence and his out of focus state during practices. Baekhyun insisted he was fine, just that he was a bit tired. 

Back in his room, in the night, he racked his brain for what he could do without letting anyone know he was doing _something_. Giving up, Baekhyun slipped into bed and forced himself to sleep on it, praying that an idea would plant itself in his head as he dreamed. 

Morning had come and still he had no ideas. 

Cursing himself soundly he just grabbed his memo pad and his pen and said to hell with it, he’d just write a note. 

Baekhyun nervously walked up to the door, trying not to look like he was doing something suspicious. Now and then he'd look over his shoulder if there was someone watching or over the glass part of the door to see where Jongin was. 

Mercifully, he wasn't anywhere near the windows or the door so that meant that he couldn't see Baekhyun either. 

The studio looked neat and tidy which would've been a relief to others but to Baekhyun, who had seen the studio in a mess with paint all over, found that it made the place look sad and cold. Because despite the mess back then, there was always, right in the middle of it, a beautiful masterpiece in progress. 

And seeing that was better than seeing it this clean and seeing the canvas on the easel even cleaner. 

He had not known what to write on the small sticky note. Had not known what words to write that wouldn't make him look like a weird stalker or an obsessed fan (Being an idol, he knew all about those types of people). 

So he tried to just put some encouraging words. Something he had heard before. He couldn't remember where it had come from. From a movie or a book or a grandma but as the words came to him, he figured it seemed appropriate for the situation. 

Praying to God, the wind wouldn't suddenly blow it away, Baekhyun took the sticky note and pressed it firmly on the glass peep-through of the large doors, hoping he had placed it in a place that Jongin would see when he walked by. 

Before walking down the small flight of stairs, Baekhyun turned back to press it again. Just to be sure. 

But he also turned back to give himself a second to think twice about what he was doing. He turned back because he wanted to make sure that note stayed there as much as he wanted to give himself a chance to rip it off if he wanted to but he read the words he had written again and just hoped that Jongin would find it helpful. 

He finally turned and jogged away from the studio, shaking a bit with adrenaline at what he had just done. His heart was beating rapidly against his chest as he rounded the corner and didn't stop jogging until he reached the back entrance into his company building. 

Jongdae and Minseok found him there 45 minutes later, practicing the routine with a vigor that had him sweating like a pig but he was thankful for the distraction, in fact, he was relishing in it. 

"You okay?" Jongdae asked him when he had decided to sit the next round out, too tired to worry about the note he had stuck on Jongin's door. 

"Yeah, just working out some stuff." 

"Through dancing until your muscles ache?" Minseok approached, giving him a suspicious look. "You know you could always talk to us, right?" 

About how he had just left a note on a broken artist's door and how he had been thinking about constantly for a week now? Not likely. 

"I'm fine," Baekhyun flashed them a grin he hoped was believable enough, lying through his teeth. "I'm sure it's just the stress getting to me. You know how it is. I'd rather direct that emotion into something like practice instead of just moping around." 

It wasn't completely a lie, though. _He_ was fine. It was the artist that wasn't. 

The next time he had been able to visit was two days after the last. With a new note in hand and a few flowers he had grabbed from one of the bouquets they had taken home from an event yesterday Baekhyun ventured on his near-daily walk, both anticipating and dreading dropping off the next note at the artist’s studio. 

Baekhyun would be busy for the next few days, even by his normal standards, so visiting might be near impossible. He tried to make up for that with the flowers. 

His note was cheesy as hell, he almost gagged at his choice of words but he couldn’t decide on anything better. He still didn’t know why exactly the artist was so down these days. 

He pressed the note where he had put the previous one, this time reinforcing it with a piece of tape (he couldn’t help but feel that the first note had been blown away) and put the flowers down a few feet away from the door so it wouldn’t get stepped on. 

Again, today the studio looked empty. Baekhyun hoped that the artist was out on a coffee run or something like that. But if that were the case then he had to get out of there quickly. 

He hopped down the steps and casually jogged away. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Jongdae approached him after getting his make-up done on another side of the set. 

They were on their third outfit change for the day and Baekhyun wasn’t as tired as he thought he’d be. He tried not to move his head around to look at Jongdae as the hairdresser fixed his hair, instead he looked at through his reflection in the mirror. 

“Hm?” Baekhyun answered absentmindedly. 

“Minseok and I have noticed that you’ve been acting pretty weird lately,” Jongdae said as he took a seat beside Baekhyun, far enough not to bother the staff. “Like more than usual.” 

“Ha Ha.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Where _is_ Minseok? We’re about to film the dance routine.” 

“Somewhere at the back, taking a nap. And don’t try to change the topic. I’m asking about you.” 

Whether the stylist was done with his hair or he had sensed that the conversation was going to be a bit personal, Baekhyun didn’t know, but he walked away silently and Jongdae scooted a bit closer. 

Baekhyun inclined his head in thanks and sighed as he caught Jongdae’s expectant look. 

“What is it you want me to say, Jongdae? That I’ve been stressed with the comeback just like always?” 

“Don’t lie. You and I both know this is different from the usual pre-comeback stress. I’m just trying to help.” 

Baekhyun knew that Jongdae only had good intentions and he wasn’t sso sure why he was keeping Kim Jongin a secret anyway; it wasn’t like there was a secret to be kept between them anyway. 

“It’s nothing, Dae, I’m serious. My head is just a bit messy these days,” Baekhyun shook his head slightly, his bangs brushing across his eyelids. “I’m sorry for worrying both of you. But I promise I’m fine.” 

Jongdae still didn’t look convinced so Baekhyun gave him a grin. 

“Whatever, man,” Jongdae shrugged. “Minseok and I’ll be here for you when you’re ready to talk about it.” 

Baekhyun let out an exasperated sigh and Jongdae smiled warmly at him before walking into the set, leaving Baekhyun there to feel thankful for the friends he had and more clearheaded than he had felt in days. 

“Ready to go?” Minseok suddenly sidled up beside him and put an arm around his shoulders. 

“I should be asking you that,” Baekhyun chuckled. “I’m guessing you want to have a talk with me too?” 

Minseok raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Jongdae got to you first?” 

Baekhyun shrugged. 

“There was nothing to say anyway.” 

“I don’t believe you.” 

“When have I ever kept a secret from you two?” 

“That time when you and Chanyeol claimed you were working on a song in his studio but turns out you were sneaking out to play video games all night at the arcade.” 

“That wasn’t my fault. Chanyeol coerced me.” 

Park Chanyeol was another one of his friends. He was a producer working for the same company as their small group and had helped produce a number of their songs. 

“Uh huh,” Minseok nodded, unconvinced. 

Just then, their video producer called them to the set. 

“We’ll start filming in a few minutes!” 

The staff began running to their places, the back-up dancers already there and rechecking their moves and chatting with Jongdae. 

“We’re not done with this conversation, Baekhyun.” Minseok said playfully as they trudged on together to continue filming. 

Later that evening, Baekhyun went straight to their company building to work on some of his parts in the album. Jongdae went with him while Minseok had another schedule to get to. 

They grabbed dinner via drive-through and ate in the studio with Chanyeol and Yixing who welcomed their presence. 

“You guys busy next week Wednesday?” 

“We’re busy every day, Yeol, what are you talking about?” Baekhyun said through a mouth of food. Chanyeol looked on at him disgustingly. 

“You could’ve swallowed before answering, you know.” 

Baekhyun swallowed down his food just to stick his tongue out at Chanyeol, which his friend pointedly ignored. 

“Why? Planning on going somewhere?” Jongdae asked. 

“Kyungsoo’s musical is on and he invited us to come and watch.” Yixing answered with a 

“The one where he and Junmyeon star in?” Baekhyun perked up. 

“Yeah.” 

Kyungsoo was a co-company friend of theirs. A solo artist and an excellent actor to boot. Baekhyun and he had done a collaboration song a few years back and since then they’d kept in touch whenever they could. They’d go to each other’s concerts and shows and such. 

Now, Kim Junmyeon was a legendary musical actor who Baekhyun’s been admiring since he was a trainee. He’s only ever watched a play with him as one of the main cast once when he was just starting out as an idol. Minseok and Jongdae had gone with him at his insistence. 

“I can make myself available,” Baekhyun said, smiling mischievously. 

“What?” Baekhyun asked defensively when Jongdae gave him a pointed look. “Our comeback isn’t ‘til a month. They’ll start releasing teasers next week, right? That’s honestly when we’ll be the most free.” 

“What about variety shows and interviews?” Jongdae reminded him. 

“Do we have anything for Wednesday?” Before Jongdae could answer, Baekhyun butt in. “If we do, ask the manager to cancel because this is a collab between Kyungsoo and Junmyeon, Dae. _Kim Junmyeon_.” 

Jongdae glared at him for cutting him off, Chanyeol and Yixing watched amusedly from the side while they chewed on their Chinese take-out. 

“We could always go another day,” Yixing pointed out but Baekhyun was adamant on going to the opening night. 

“That’s when everything is going to be fresh and emotional for both the actors and audience, though,” Baekhyun argued as they tried to convince him to just attend on a different night. 

“God, you’re insufferable,” Chanyeol groaned as he stood and began cleaning up. 

“But you guys love me anyway,” Baekhyun grinned. 

Jongdae and Chanyeol scoffed but Yixing offered him a reassuring smile. 

Good news, CBX didn’t have a schedule Wednesday evening. Bad news, Baekhyun had to finish everything he had to this week so he could have a tiny window of rest next week which meant getting the MV done by tomorrow, finishing the album jacket photo shoot, going through the songs on the album a thousand more times to make sure everything sounded alright and go to dozens of meetings regarding shows, interviews and fanmeets. 

Baekhyun frowned at the compromise given to him. He still had more or less a week before Wednesday, and most of those days he’d spend drowning in work. 

He sighed as he scrolled through his phone, looking up what their fans were up to during this time that there really wasn’t anything going on with their group. 

Some posts made him laugh and others made him smile. 

It was truly a wonder to him how his fans could love every single thing about him – even the parts that he thought unattractive or silly. Everything he seemed to do, the fans would find cute or hot or handsome. It made him sound greater than he actually was. 

Suddenly the thought of having a busy week wasn’t so bad if it meant making all of those who were waiting for them happy. 

He sat up in his bed as he remembered someone else he had wanted to make happy recently. 

He glanced at his sticky note pad and wondered when the next time he could drop another note could be, definitely not in the next two days because they’d be going straight to the venue from the dorms. Chewing on his lip, he glanced at his calendar. 

He had dance practices and work-outs scheduled early in the morning after the filming. They were the usual excuses Baekhyun had to get out of the house earlier than the others so he figured he’d just take advantage of them again as he flopped back to bed. 

Kim Jongin. 

He had no idea why he was trying so hard to comfort someone he barely knew. For all Baekhyun knew, Jongin could have been crying over a rough break-up or something; _which_ would make Baekhyun’s two previous messages rather inappropriate. 

Baekhyun rolled over and buried his face in his pillow, completely forgetting about scrolling through his phone. 

He didn’t want to write anymore notes but he thought it was unfair that the world was robbed of Kim Jongin’s beautiful smile. Baekhyun had only seen it a few times but he wanted more chances to see it – more reasons to make Kim Jongin laugh. 

Why? 

Baekhyun couldn’t bring himself to answer. 

The next three days passed by in a blur of activity that Baekhyun could hardly remember. Before he knew it, they were done with shooting for the music video and had moved to the album jacket photo shoot. There were still the dance practices that went on late into the night. Baekhyun barely had any time for himself, much less for the artist. 

Still, Baekhyun tried to think of notes or small gifts to leave Kim Jongin. He kept them in his desk, hidden on one side so he could bring them over whenever the opportunity presented itself. 

They were short messages, some were plain humorous, others were quotes he had read from books. 

Wonderfully, a morning came where Baekhyun had nowhere to go but to the company building. He had a meeting in a few hours with his members and the promotional team and more practices and going over the new album but other than that, nothing too major. 

He could finally go on that morning walk! 

25 minutes later when he had finished his shower and gotten dressed in his usual casual attire of loose track pants and a shirt he found Minseok in the kitchen, probably only having finished cleaning the dishes Baekhyun had left out last night. 

Minseok glanced over his shoulder when he saw Baekhyun enter the kitchen. 

“You’re up early. I thought you’d sleep in like you said.” 

“The sound of you cleaning woke me up,” Baekhyun joked as he opened the refrigerator door to grab some milk for a healthy bowl of cereal. 

“I haven’t even started vacuuming yet,” Minseok protested, putting his hands on his hips, making Baekhyun laugh. 

“I’m kidding. I have to get to the company early. Yixing wanted to show me the new dance he was working on for one of our songs. The only time he could book the practice room was at 9 so here I am,” Baekhyun explained, pulling out a chair for himself and settling his bowl down. 

It wasn’t completely a lie. Yixing did sign his name down for practice at 9o’clock but Baekhyun only knew that because he had glanced at the records last night before he left. Yixing didn’t have to show him anything but at least Baekhyun had someone to run to after he was through with his “mission”. 

Minseok raised a brow. 

“Yixing? He’s already choreographing the dances for the concert?” 

Well, Baekhyun assumed he was. 

Baekhyun nodded. 

“Yeah and he wanted to hang out,” he shrugged before grinning, “Who knows, he might treat me to breakfast.” 

“You’re already eating,” Minseok pointed out, taking a seat in front of Baekhyun. 

They spent a few minutes like that. Baekhyun just eating and Minseok silently watching him. It wasn’t by any means awkward, they both liked a bit of silence in the morning and they were used to times like these. 

“Are you seeing someone?” 

Baekhyun choked on a Lucky Charm, his eyes widening at Minseok in surprise. 

“NO,” Baekhyun coughed out rather violently, pounding his chest as Minseok laughed at his situation. 

“Why would you think that?” Baekhyun asked as he wiped his mouth when he recovered. His mind whirled with explanations and stories he could make up why he was so out of it lately. 

“Well, you’ve been acting weird lately and you’ve been pretty distant. Others wouldn’t notice but the three of us have been together for _years,_ Baekhyun. Jongdae and I’ve been talking about how you’re always distracted these days.” 

Honestly, he hadn’t even noticed it himself. He was sure he was acting normal. 

“So you assumed I was dating someone?” 

“The comeback’s in a few weeks, Baek. A lot of people are looking for ways to sabotage that and make up a scandal. Yours, especially. If you _are_ dating someone then we’re happy for you but we’d rather we heard it from you directly rather than – you know – rumours and articles.” 

Baekhyun watched his leader silently. Of course, he’d be worried about him and the group. 

He knew their fans loved them a lot and it was easy to make them happy. He could literally post a selca right now and he could make the days of thousands of people. They were loved by so many people that sometimes it overwhelmed him. 

But he remembered how easily thousands more had turned their backs on him when his dating “scandal” spread. They were barely a year into their debut and he caused so much damage he thought they were going to be forced to disband. It took a lot of convincing to get himself back on a stage. 

He understood, of course. 

With the amount of love he received, it was only right that he gave that love back in full force even if it meant that he couldn’t love just one in particular. 

“I’m not dating anyone, Minseok,” Baekhyun smiled teasingly. “I think I’m just a bit tired. Besides, if I were dating anyone, I’d be glowing rather than sulking, don’t you think?” 

Minseok studied him, still looking a bit unconvinced. If there was anyone who could read Baekhyun so damn well, it was Minseok. 

So Baekhyun directed the attention somewhere else. 

“I think _you_ should start dating, though. You’re getting a bit old,” Baekhyun grinned wolfishly. 

“Don’t even start,” Minseok stood up after glancing at the clock behind Baekhyun and started walking over to his bedroom at the end of the hall, probably to get dressed for the day. 

“Don’t forget to wash your dishes. If you leave them there again, I’m not cooking tonight,” Minseok called out before closing his door. 

Just then, Jongdae walked out of his own room, bleary eyed and ruffling his hair. 

He blinked at Baekhyun before continuing on to the living room and probably crashing on one of the couches. 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and stood up to clean up after himself. 

And that was that. 

His talk with Minseok got him unnecessarily nervous as he walked down the street toward the art studio. Dating wasn’t the problem with Baekhyun. 

No. 

He was going to be in a lot more trouble than being caught on camera holding hands with a girl. He just wasn’t ready to admit it to himself yet. 

As he walked the weight of that single piece of paper seemed to grow heavier as he neared the artist’s building. Today he had written three song recommendations (none of which were by his group, obviously). He liked listening to them when he was having bad thoughts just to clear his head. 

But he wondered if he just shouldn’t bother anymore. Doing this, leaving these notes and gifts was only him making a bed he knew he would have to lie in eventually. 

Deep in thought, he almost missed the window he usually peeked through as he passed by. He did a double take and his jaw quite literally dropped when he saw a painting was drying under the sun beside the open window. 

A painting. 

Baekhyun stared and stared. 

There was a painting. 

After _weeks_ of seeing nothing but a dark, empty room, Baekhyun could’ve cried with joy right then and there at the sight of the painting. He couldn’t stop the rising grin on his face as he studied it further. 

It looked like it was halfway done and it lacked the artist’s usual style but Baekhyun could see why. The colors were off. He wasn’t using the usual bright palette Baekhyun saw in all of his paintings. Instead it was muted and simple and pretty. 

It was still progress, though! 

Baekhyun couldn’t, of course, give himself all the credit but all thoughts of not leaving Kim Jongin the note flew out the window as he stared at that painting wistfully. Baekhyun couldn’t wait to see the way it looked like when it was finally finished. 

From the far end of the room, Baekhyun spied the artist himself, coming down the stairs. 

His heartbeat raced as he rushed to the door, pressed the note onto the glass pane and ran for his life. 

The colors of that painting stayed on his mind for hours on end. Even as he danced with Yixing, his mind was elsewhere, thinking of why they were so familiar to him. 

After grabbing a light second breakfast with Yixing, he met up with his manager and his band mates for a meeting in one of the boardrooms and that went on for a few hours. 

Minseok didn’t give any indication that he was still wondering if Baekhyun was seeing someone outside of their radar and Jongdae didn’t berate with him with questions either. That just meant that they were probably dropping the topic. For now, anyway. 

It wasn’t until he had met up with Kyungsoo where he had invited him for lunch at the restaurant they usually ate at that Baekhyun realized why the painting was bothering him so much. 

They were painted with the same colors as the flowers he had given along with his second note. 

This thought slammed into Baekhyun’s head so suddenly that he dropped his chopsticks on the table with a loud gasp, making Kyungsoo look at him in surprise. 

“What?” Kyungsoo asked him as he wiped the mess Baekhyun made with a tissue. “What’s wrong?” 

Baekhyun just shook his head and picked his chopsticks back up again sheepishly. 

“Nothing. Just forgot something I had to do.” 

Outside, he tried to keep calm and collected but deep inside his head was trying to wrap itself in the idea that the flowers he had given on a whim could have inspired Kim Jongin’s newest painting. 

The soft hues the artist had used were exactly the same shade as the small bouquet Baekhyun had left him that one early morning. A dominating color of white and yellow with the slight touches of peach and cream veins. In Baekhyun’s mind’s eye he tried to picture what exactly Kim Jongin had envisioned with those colors. 

It was a struggle to push that revelation out of his mind and focus on his conversation with Kyungsoo instead. 

“How’re preparations for the play going?” Baekhyun asked before shoving a piece of meat in his mouth. 

Kyungsoo shrugged with a small smile on his face that made his eyes light up. 

“It’s going great. It’s an honor to be working with Kim Junmyeon.” 

“Chanyeol, Yixing and I are going to be watching on opening night, by the way. I haven’t convinced Minseok and Jongdae to come with me yet.” 

“I don’t remember inviting you,” Kyungsoo joked. 

“I wasn’t going for you anyway,” Baekhyun sniffed. “I’m going because I want to support Junmyeon.” 

“Fine, remind me to not introduce you.” 

At that, Baekhyun started whining until Kyungsoo said otherwise. 

Baekhyun couldn’t think of anything to write on his next note. All of the other notes he had pre-written now sounded silly and childish. Re-reading them, he couldn’t help but flush in embarrassment. 

Now that he had slight proof that the artist _had_ received his notes, Baekhyun felt more and more conscious of what next to write. He tapped, tapped, tapped his sticky note pad with his pen, his chin propped up on his free hand, forehead scrunched in thought. 

He considered writing down a line from one of their new songs but that might be too much of a dead giveaway if Jongin ever listened to the album. 

Will Baekhyun ever have the guts to admit to Kim Jongin’s face that he had been the one writing the letters and leaving flowers on his doorstep? Baekhyun may never know but for now it seemed unlikely. 

He spun round and round in his desk chair after a few more minutes of staring blankly at the note pad. 

With a heavy sigh, he rolled his chair over to his computer. A few hours of gaming might relax his mind enough to start thinking up fresh ideas where he wouldn’t sound like an idiot. As he brought himself nearer to the desktop something caught his eye. 

On the shelves beside it was a small plush bear that could fit sitting in his palm. 

And strangely enough it wore round specs. 

He had slipped it in his pocket after a concert overseas, maybe around a year ago. In a sea of stuffed toys, hats, bags and other weird items onstage, that small bear sitting there had caught his eye. 

Now, it reminded him of the artist with its wide curious eyes that reminded him of Kim Jongin’s and the brown of its fur the same shade of the artist’s hair. 

Baekhyun picked it up gingerly and placed it in his palm, studying it further. 

Well, it wasn’t a note but it would have to do. 

To say that Byun Baekhyun was excited for his walk down to the company building the next day was an understatement. He was positively ecstatic. 

Over the night he had grown to the idea of just leaving that small bear on the doorstep with a note on its hands; a simple message that Baekhyun couldn’t even wince at. 

As he passed by that window he could see that Kim Jongin was busy behind the desk. He looked dead tired but there was a smile on his face as he gazed at his laptop. 

Baekhyun didn’t linger that long, afraid of actually being caught and mistaken for a stalker but the painting by the window had again caught his eye. This time around he could recognize what the artist was trying to form. 

It looked to be the sky at the early hours of dawn with its soft yellow glow and cream clouds. It was simple and yet beautiful, enough so that Baekhyun had to tear himself away from the sight and tiptoe up the stairs. Glancing through the glass panes, he saw that the artist was still behind his desk. 

He realized that he was talking. He was probably video-chatting someone and he was laughing cutely. 

Baekhyun smiled to himself as crouched down and left the bear on the rug before tiptoeing away. 

“Alright, guys, let’s take 5,” their current dance instructor shouted as the music cut to an abrupt end. The choreographer and their managers went to the side to talk about something and they were mercifully given a break that was hopefully longer than 5 minutes. 

His companions, Minseok and Jongdae immediately dropped to their knees, panting and groaning but he rushed over to where he had put aside his bottle of water earlier. 

“Hand me mine, would you, Baek,” Minseok said, slightly out of breath, reaching his hand out. 

Baekhyun grunted in acknowledgement as he chugged down half of the contents of his bottle before reaching for their bottles and sliding back to their side. 

He plopped down beside them as he handed out their respective bottles. 

They took another few minutes just silently catching their breaths and resting. 

“What time do we have to be here tomorrow?” Baekhyun asked to no one in particular in the room, throwing the question out and waiting for someone to answer. 

The choreographer turned to him, considering his question. 

“A little bit too enthusiastic, Baekhyun?” Jongdae joked. “We haven’t even left yet and you already want to know what time we start tomorrow.” 

“Do you have somewhere to be?” Their manager asked him curiously, probably thinking over their schedules in his mind. 

Baekhyun flushed under the room’s scrutiny. 

“No, I just wanted to know how long I could sleep in,” Baekhyun said with what was hopefully a straight face. “I’m exhausted.” 

They seemed to buy it. 

“You have that magazine photo shoot tomorrow to get to, though so you might not attend morning practice. Much less sleep in,” his manager said as if he just now remembered. 

Baekhyun winced. 

“I have a photo shoot tomorrow? Damn, I forgot.” 

If he had a shoot tomorrow then that meant that, most likely, he would have to miss another day of leaving notes on the door of Kim Jongin. 

“It shouldn’t be too hard,” the manager pursed his lips in thought, as if remembering the details of the schedule. “I heard that the shoot is outdoors on the street so it’ll be fun.” 

It _did_ sound fun. The only downside was that he’d have to leave the dorm directly and that meant he wouldn’t be able to visit (not that he was actually visiting him face to face). 

“Super,” Baekhyun grunted before taking another swig from his bottle of water. 

“Alright, let’s do another round, guys.” 

With groans all around, they got into position. 

Nothing like a good workout to keep the thoughts away. 

The photo shoot for the magazine _was_ fun. The people were easy to work with and the setting they had chosen was beautiful. They were a little ways out of town on a street that Baekhyun had never been to before. 

He enjoyed walking around the bricked sidewalks in the comfy coats and loose pants they had him wear. The sweaters were big on him but he enjoyed them nonetheless. 

Halfway through the shoot he started getting hungry and his stomach led him toward what seemed like a bakery across the road when the cameramen and producers had called a break. 

He went in, his manager trailing behind him with an amused roll of his eyes. 

Baekhyun picked out a lot of muffins and bread and cookies for himself and Minseok and Jongdae when he got home. And discretely he picked up another small bag of cookies for his friend that wasn’t really his friend. 

“You’re getting a lot,” his manager commented when Baekhyun added that to the counter. 

“Some are for you,” Baekhyun assured him, making the both of them chuckle. “And Chanyeol. And Yixing. And Minseok. And Jongdae.” 

And Kim Jongin. 

After they had paid for the huge amount of baked goods they had bought, a girl on the far end of the bakery caught his eye. She had her phone out and she seemed to be taking pictures of him and funnily enough she had a doll that looked suspiciously like Jongdae under one arm. 

When she noticed that he was looking at her she squealed a bit and bowed in greeting, now blushing madly. 

Baekhyun let out a laugh. 

“Hello,” He greeted her in return with a warm smile. 

He always enjoyed meeting fans outside of schedules just as long as they didn’t mob him or anything. 

His manager turned around to look at what had snagged his attention and tried his best not to frown. 

“Let’s go,” he said softly before trudging outside clutching the paper bags. Baekhyun knew that this wasn’t him being harsh. He was just worried and trying to keep Baekhyun safe (which was his job). 

Baekhyun nodded in return but before he followed him outside he ordered a blueberry muffin for the fan, paid for it and asked the nice lady behind the counter to give it to her. 

He turned around one last time gave the girl a wave goodbye and smiled back when she smiled at him brightly. He was sure that him being sighted in that bakery would spread like wildfire in a few minutes and the idea both amused and scared him. 

He caught up to his manager who was standing outside waiting. He was frowning down at the bag of bread. 

“We’re going to have to buy a lot of coffee to go with this,” his manager mumbled, making Baekhyun laugh and pat him on the back. 

Baekhyun woke up the next day thanking the heavens that it was finally Wednesday which meant that it was finally his well-deserved rest day. 

He groaned, stretching out on his bed and reached for his phone which wasn’t usually far from his body. True enough, he found it within arm’s length. 

He blinked at it disbelievingly as it displayed the time. 

It was already 10am. 

He sat up when he finally realized that his eyes weren’t fooling him, cursing profusely. Apparently his body had known that it was his rest day, too. He usually got up at 8am whenever he had to leave a note outside the studio, figuring that any later and the artist would surely catch him in the act. 

He hurriedly dressed, stuck a beanie on top of his head and rushed out of his room. 

In the living room he found Minseok an d Jongdae munching on a breakfast of bread he had bought yesterday and coffee. 

“Good morning,” Baekhyun called out as he grabbed the bag of cookies he had placed in a small box from the cupboard and stuffed it the pocket of his hoodie. 

“I’m going out to buy some bubble tea,” he said as he passed by them. 

“What? So suddenly?” Jongdae sat up and stared at him weirdly but Baekhyun didn’t give his friend an answer as he dashed out of the apartment. 

Baekhyun speed-walked to the studio, clutching the cookies so tightly in his hands, he feared they might break. 

To his immense delight he couldn’t see the artist anywhere as he passed by the window. 

The door was open and he could see inside but he couldn’t see him anywhere. The last time Baekhyun had seen him he was laughing – regardless of whether it was because of Baekhyun’s small notes or not, he was happy to see him at least doing something these days as opposed to just sitting and staring at his canvas. 

He had no idea and no way of knowing if the artist even liked cookies. He hoped he did. Everything he had left thus far had been accepted without a problem. 

Baekhyun could actually see the flowers he had left for him a few days ago from where he stood. They were in a vase and precariously on his desk. And – 

And beside those flowers, the bear. 

Warmth spread through him and he bit his lip to keep himself from grinning. 

He placed the cookies gently down on ground, sticking a note along inside the box with it. He closed the lid before turning around and walking down the stairs and away from the studio, fixing the beanie on top of his head. 

He didn’t mind much that he didn’t see the artist today. Seeing his gifts being kept was enough to keep him going for days. 

This day, along with the musical he was anticipating tonight might be one of the happiest days of his life. 

He was practically skipping all the way to the bubble tea place near the area. 

20 minutes later, sipping on his tea happily and clutching to two more cups for Minseok and Jongdae in a cup holder in one hand, Baekhyun walked back the way he came only to choke on a tapioca pearl as he rounded the corner that lead to their street. 

Because Kim Jongin was there standing on the top step to his studio, reading his note with a sweet smile on his face. 

And Baekhyun was already painfully aware of how exquisitely beautiful the younger man was. As beautiful as the paintings covering the gallery Baekhyun had been to and the studio he could see from the outside. Maybe even more so. But seeing him smile there, outdoors and under the sun after a long time was like someone had squeezed Baekhyun’s heart and had left him there to wheeze. 

He continued walking along, pretending not to notice as he crossed the street earlier than he usually did. As he reached the other side, his phone started ringing, making him stop abruptly. In the corner of his eye, he saw Jongin look up from the box of cookies. 

After maneuvering his phone out of his pocket which took quite a few seconds with three cups of bubba in his hands, he finally answered the phone but the drinks were in such a weird position that he couldn’t possibly continue walking without one of them falling. 

So he was stuck there, right in the line of vision of Kim Jongin, looking silly with his phone in his ear and three cups of bubble tea. He turned around to face his back toward the artist to save _some_ of his dignity. 

“What?” Baekhyun hissed when he saw Jongdae’s caller ID. 

Jongdae wasn’t even bothered with the sound of his tone. 

“Did you get me some bubble tea, too?” Jongdae asked as a greeting. 

_“Yes, you idiot.”_

He was so busy arguing with his friend that he didn’t notice that Kim Jongin had already crossed the road and was standing right behind him. 

“Mr. Byun. Uh – Baekhyun?” 

He turned around with a yelp when he felt someone poke his arm to see Jongin there, carefully plucking the cups out of his hands. 

It took Baekhyun a second to realize that he was trying to help. 

“What? What happened?” Baekhyun could hear Jongdae ask through the phone but he couldn’t bring himself to answer not when Kim Jongin was standing so close to him. 

Like that night in the gallery. 

Involuntarily, Baekhyun’s heart started to race by just a bit. 

“Baekhyun?” Jongdae continued unanswered. 

“Thank you,” Baekhyun said almost breathlessly as Jongin grinned at him. 

“Baekhyun!” Jongdae yelled through the phone, making Baekhyun yell out, too. 

“Yeah! What? Oh, sorry,” Baekhyun snapped himself back to what was happening at hand. “Nothing just ran into a friend.” 

“Okay but you better get your ass back here quickly. I don’t want room temperature tea.” 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes before ending the call. 

Taking a deep breath, he stepped to turn to look at Jongin fully. He was wearing a striped long-sleeved shirt and black jeans with a pair of slippers. His hair was down like he couldn’t be bothered to style it but he still looked _incredibly_ good. 

“You looked like you needed help,” Jongin chuckled as he handed the drinks back to him. Only then did Baekhyun notice that he still clutched the cookie box under an arm pressed close to his chest. 

“Thanks, again,” Baekhyun said, smiling gratefully and inclining his head. Before he could move to turn around and make his escape though, Jongin began talking. 

“I’m sorry to bother you,” Jongin suddenly said shyly, making Baekhyun glance back at him. It was hard to meet those glittering brown eyes but Baekhyun forced himself to do so. 

“I know you’re busy,” Jongin continued on, his smile dimming by just a bit. “But you pass by my studio every day, right?” 

Baekhyun nodded, trying to look neutral as he glanced at the box of cookies Jongin had lifted, his breathing hitching in his throat. 

Was he caught already? 

“Have you perhaps seen who’s been leaving these small notes and gifts for me these past couple weeks?” 

Baekhyun blinked then loosed out a relieved breath. 

“I’m sorry but I haven’t,” Baekhyun said, an apologetic smile on his face. 

“Oh,” Jongin nodded, pursing his lips. “Well, if you ever see them, could you give me a call? I’d very much like to thank them.” 

Despite the anxiousness at the possibility of being caught twisting his insides, happiness filled Baekhyun to the brim as he remembered the flowers and the bear sitting on his desk but he tried his best to look indifferent. 

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” 

Jongin started patting his pockets, looking like he was looking for something. 

“Ah, I must’ve left my wallet inside,” Jongin muttered before looking back to Baekhyun with an apologetic smile. 

“Do you want to come inside while I hunt down a calling card? I can’t remember my number,” Jongin scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. “I recently changed it.” 

Baekhyun’s brows rose at the idea but his surprise quickly melted into agreement. 

“Sure,” Baekhyun nodded, quickly forgetting Jongdae’s nagging voice to come home immediately “I have to make good on that promise I made you back then anyway.” 

Jongin led the way and Baekhyun followed behind, amused and endeared with the fact that he had to lengthen his strides just a bit to match Jongin’s long legs. Jongin seemed to have noticed because he threw Baekhyun a sheepish smile before slowing down. 

“What are you working on right now?” Baekhyun asked as they entered the studio, glancing around at the amount of canvasses and paint and messy but beautiful art. 

“Oh, that one,” Jongin said, beaming all the while as he pointed out the most recent work. He stalked off to hunt for his calling card while Baekhyun stood back to admire the work in progress. 

It was the painting of the sky, now with more details lining the clouds and the colors inspired by the flowers on the desk blended together beautifully. 

He glanced at the vase then back at the painting, a big smile on his face. 

“It’s beautiful,” Baekhyun muttered before turning around and grinning at Jongin. “As expected.” 

If Baekhyun wasn’t mistaken, Jongin was actually blushing. 

“Thank you,” Jongin chuckled bashfully. “It’s not my best but I’ve been in a slump lately. But I managed to paint a bit and it’s all thanks to that person I told you about. The one that’s been leaving me gifts.” 

Jongin’s gaze moves to the vase of flowers and it was Baekhyun’s turn to flush a little bit. He wanted to ask about why he had been in a slump but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. 

“They must admire you a great deal,” Baekhyun’s brows rose. 

“I want to thank them personally,” Jongin said, tearing his gaze away from the flowers to look at Baekhyun straight in the eye and handing him his calling card. “I owe them a lot.” 

The air between them was suddenly heavy with something Baekhyun couldn’t explain. Maybe it was just in his imagination but Jongin suddenly seemed so incredibly shy. 

“You’re not just using this encounter as a chance to give me your number, are you?” Baekhyun teased, his lip twitching at the side as he took the card from him. 

Jongin only reddened at that before laughing. 

“I guess you could say that. You said you’d come around and take a look at the studio a few weeks ago but then I never saw you pass by.” 

_But I saw you. You just never noticed_ , Baekhyun thought to himself. 

“Yeah, I’ve been pretty busy with the comeback and stuff.” Baekhyun said instead, letting out an awkward laugh. Jongin nodded understandingly and just continued standing there. 

This air of his was different from the last time they had met and that night in the art gallery, almost as if he was humbled and was afraid of saying the wrong thing. 

When it became apparent that Jongin had nothing else to say, Baekhyun jerked his head toward the exit. 

“Well, I’ve got to head on home now, I don’t want Chen biting off my ear if I get home and his drink isn’t as cold as he wants it to be,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes good-naturedly and chuckled to keep the nerves out of his voice. He used Jongdae’s stage name because he wasn’t sure Jongin would know his real name. 

Again, Jongin just nodded with a small smile on his face. 

“You should come by more often when you have the time, I would love to hear what you have to say about my paintings,” Jongin said, walking him to the door. 

“I will,” Baekhyun reassured him. “And I’ll call if I ever catch anyone leaving you those notes.” 

Baekhyun doubted he’ll ever do the second thing. 

They were already at the door when Jongin smiled that boyish smile of his and Baekhyun had the sudden urge to hear him laugh out loud. 

“You could use the number for other things, like, if you need someone to talk to or something.” Despite Jongin’s smile, he was a bit red in the cheeks. 

Baekhyun stared at him for maybe a second too long because Jongin began stuttering. 

“You’re right – I’m sorry – Yeah, you can just, you know, text me when you –,” 

Baekhyun cut him off, feeling flustered. 

“No, yeah, I’ll do that. Text you when I want someone to talk to, I mean,” Baekhyun nodded earnestly and Jongin beamed before starting to walk the few steps down to the pavement. 

“Bye,” Jongin called out from beside his open door. 

He turned to send him a smile and a nod but before Jongin could close the door an idea popped into Baekhyun’s mind. 

“Actually,” Baekhyun took a step forward toward the still open door and now it was his time to blush when Jongin scrutinized him under the glare of the sun. 

“Um – there’s this musical I’m attending later with friends, like, as Byun Baekhyun not Idol Baekhyun. I was wondering if you might want to join…” He trailed off as he let the offer hang in the air. 

He hadn’t even _thought_ of inviting Jongin to the musical until that very minute but it seemed right to ask. At least Baekhyun could say he tried. 

“Is this that musical Kim Junmyeon and Do Kyungsoo are in?” Jongin asked, opening his door wide to be able to talk to Baekhyun again clearly. “I already actually had plans to go with a friend.” 

“Oh,” Baekhyun wasn’t disappointed in the slightest. He was actually pleasantly delighted that he was going to go out with his friends. “Small world.” 

Jongin beamed at him. 

“So, maybe I’ll see you there?” 

Baekhyun smiled back before nodding. 

“Definitely.” 

“You look happy,” Minseok commented when Baekhyun handed them their respective drinks before flopping down armchair in front of the couch they were sitting on. He hadn’t even noticed that he was grinning like a little kid with a new toy. 

Baekhyun shrugged nonchalantly but he still couldn’t dim his smile. 

“I’m just excited for tonight. You guys wanna come along?” 

Jongdae nodded enthusiastically after taking a sip of his drink. He pursed his lips when he realized something. 

“We’d have to tell the managers and the staff at the venue beforehand, though so they can get us seats where we won’t cause too much commotion when we arrive and leave.” 

Baekhyun whipped out his phone before Jongdae could tell him twice. 

“I think I’ll just catch a ride with Chanyeol and Yixing, though. They’re taking his car,” Baekhyun said as he typed up a text to one of their managers who lived in the apartment next to theirs. 

“We could all grab food afterwards,” Minseok suggested and he and Jongdae began a conversation on where they could eat, Baekhyun too preoccupied with his phone to join in. 

A night of eating, drinking and having fun with friends sounded good to Baekhyun and the fact that he’d see Jongin sometime during the night, made him wish time would creep faster. 

He remembered the calling card stuffed inside his pocket where it had replaced the note’s place and was filled with the sudden urge to take it out and read it over and over again. 

So, he stood up silently and grabbed his half-full drink from the coffee table before slinking into his room, leaving the two to their own devices. 

He threw himself unto his seat, making him roll backwards a few feet before stopping in the middle of his room. He didn’t bother moving himself back to the chair’s original position before whipping the card out of his pocket. 

To be honest, Baekhyun found calling cards a bit old school but he found Jongin’s really attractive. The design at the back was minimalistic and aesthetic. The front was a rectangle of a light brown and in the middle written in bold was _Kai_ , and below it were his address and his number. 

Baekhyun assumed that _Kai_ was the name of his studio but he focused on the artist’s phone number. 

Maybe Baekhyun should’ve just given his phone number too. That way, he wouldn’t have to be the one to text first. Kim Jongin seemed to be the one who was more confident in that area anyway. 

Now, he had to figure out how to phrase the text without sounding like he was too eager to meet-up 

He glanced at the closet he had left ajar in his hurry to change awhile ago and sighed. 

Another thing he had to think about; what to wear. 

But, like typical Baekhyun, he pushed those problems off to the side to be faced later and scooted over to his desktop computer. 

Which was a good idea until Chanyeol called him up hours later to tell him that they’ll be there in an hour to pick him up. 

Minseok and Jongdae had gone out to go somewhere Baekhyun hadn’t heard while he was shouting over his game a few hours ago, reminding him of the musical. 

Glancing at the time on his computer’s screen, he rushed to grab his towel and run to the shower. 

Around 15 minutes later, with a towel on top of his dripping hair, Baekhyun rummaged for something to wear. He couldn’t look _too_ dressed up. It wasn’t an official schedule. But he still didn’t want to appear in anything less than his best because Jongin was going to be there – and Jongin always looked his best no matter what he wore. 

(Never mind the fact that Jongin had already seen him in hoodies and jogging pants.) 

He finally settled for a blue long-sleeved shirt tucked and a pair of fitted, black jeans. 

As an afterthought, he grabbed his fake specs on top of the desk and placed them on the bridge of his nose. He admittedly felt a bit shy, going out where there were camera without his usual make-up and idol persona. 

He plucked his phone up from where he had left it charging and stared at it for a few seconds. He had already saved Jongin’s number under a bear emoji but he still hadn’t brought himself to text him. 

Just as he was staring at it blankly, rubbing his hair continuously with the towel to dry it further, it suddenly started vibrating in his hand. He almost dropped it in surprise. 

It was Yixing. 

Baekhyun answered. 

“Hey, we’re already here. You ready to go?” Yixing’s voice came through the phone. 

“You guys said I still had an hour. Last I checked I still had 15 minutes,” Baekhyun said but stood up nonetheless, grabbing his keys, wallet and a face mask on his way out of his room. 

“You better be down here in 5 minutes or you’re losing your ride, Byun.” This time it was Chanyeol’s voice. Of course, they’d put him on speaker. 

“Yes, sir,” Baekhyun laughed before ending the call. 

He slipped his shoes on and made sure all the lights were closed before exiting the apartment. 

On the way down, he sent a quick text to Jongdae and his manager that he was already on his way and that Chanyeol and Yixing had picked him up. 

He still had one person he had yet to text, though. 

Outside the building the sun had only began to set, leaving their quaint little street in a slightly, orange and pink hue. It was a bit windy so Baekhyun was glad he had chosen to wear pants instead of shorts. 

He could see Chanyeol’s big jeep waiting a few meters away. He jogged over and opened the door to the back which had been left unlocked for him. 

“Hey, Baekhyun,” Yixing looked over his seat to send him a dimpled smile. 

“Took you long enough,” Chanyeol said before turning the engine back on. 

“Hey! It took me less than 5 minutes to get down here.” 

Chanyeol didn’t deign to reply as he began driving away. Baekhyun was a bit disappointed that they didn’t pass by the studio as they went on their way. 

“The others didn’t want to come?” Yixing asked instead. 

“They left ahead. I sent Jongdae a text that I was just leaving,” Baekhyun said as he checked his phone. “He replied, ‘Okay. On our way. Ask them if they want to have dinner with us’.” 

“You guys paying?” Chanyeol joked from behind the wheel. 

“Ha Ha. No.” Baekhyun scoffed. 

“Then, no.” 

“Fine, suit yourself, loser. What about you, Yixing?” 

“Sure, I’d love to. Maybe we can convince Kyungsoo to come with us,” Yixing responded, turning to look at Baekhyun as they talked. 

“That’s assuming he doesn’t have a schedule,” Chanyeol reminded them. “And I’m going.” 

“We’ll ask him anyway. And I knew you’d change your mind,” Baekhyun smirked as he settled himself more comfortably in his seat as Yixing turned back to the front and increased the volume of the radio which was playing a song from Chanyeol’s playlist. 

Plucking up the courage, Baekhyun finally clicked that little bear emoji and typed down a text. 

_On my way to the musical. Hope to see you there._

Before he could back out, he pressed send. 

He read it again, twice, in his head just to make sure it didn’t sound too weird. He thought of the notes he had left for the artist so far and for a moment he panicked, thinking that he might be discovered before pulling himself together and remembering that there was no way that could happen through a text. 

As he read it one last time before turning the screen of his phone off, he realized he had forgotten one little detail. 

“Stupid,” Baekhyun muttered to himself before typing down his name on his phone. 

“Hm?” Chanyeol asked. “Did you say something?” 

“Nothing.” 

_This is Baekhyun by the way_ . 

Send. 

Baekhyun put his phone down on his lap before turning to the tinted windows and staring out of them, watching the city pass by under the late afternoon, early evening glow. There were quite a bit of cars as they reached the highway but nothing too major. Besides they still had over an hour before the show started and it was always better to arrive just as it was starting in Baekhyun’s case. 

It gave people less time to react about his presence. Especially if he was going with Chanyeol and Yixing. Added with the fact that Jongdae and Minseok would be arriving, too. 

There was going to be a lot of articles and news spread about tonight again. With an all-star cast and celebrity studded crowd? 

Hopefully nothing bad happened. 

Baekhyun found himself wishing for that every time he went out with a group of friends. Life was just easier without having issues (sometimes, completely false) spreading left and right. 

Upfront Chanyeol and Yixing had begun talking about a song and Baekhyun tuned them out just as his phone vibrated on his lap. 

_We’re already here. See you :)_

Baekhyun dropped his phone back down on his lap with a small, suppressed smile on his face. 

__

_We just arrived._

Baekhyun sent the text message as Chanyeol turned the engine of his car off and Yixing began unbuckling his seatbelt. 

The sky was darker now and streetlamps and the light coming from buildings littered around them lit up the street. Baekhyun scooted over to his door and watched the small crowd that had gathered and mingled outside the theater. Some of them turned to look at their car as they pulled up. 

Baekhyun was thankful for tinted windows. 

“You think we should still pass through the back or you’re okay with going through the front doors?” Yixing asked Baekhyun. 

“Nah. The show’s about to start so it’s better if we just get this over with.” 

“I’ll be your bodyguard,” Chanyeol sent him a cheeky smile before exiting his car, Yixing following suit. Baekhyun counted to three like he always did before opening his own door. Chanyeol was there waiting for his in his usual hoodie, shorts and cap attire. 

His tall stature mostly covered Baekhyun as he exited the car but a few gasps still rose in the air at the sight of Chanyeol and Baekhyun. 

“Let’s go?” Yixing began walking toward the entrance after Chanyeol made sure his car was locked with a little click. 

Chanyeol nodded and turned to follow. The flashing of cameras and shouts of exclamations increased as Baekhyun was revealed, walking beside Chanyeol. 

As per usual there was the split second of fear Baekhyun felt of not being able to move freely because of pressing bodies but it quickly faded away when he realized that despite the fact that people had began shouting excitedly, they kept their distance. 

Baekhyun smiled gratefully underneath his mask at the closest girl who was holding up her phone. 

“Hi!” She shouted as soon as she noticed his smile. Chanyeol ushered him inside where it was relatively less hectic just as his phone vibrated in his hand. 

He spared it a glance and saw that there was a text from Jongin. 

_I’m guessing the screams outside are thanks to you._

Baekhyun smiled despite himself but didn’t reply to watch where he was going. 

He saw Yixing at the end of the hall, waving him and Chanyeol over quickly. Chanyeol started walking faster and Baekhyun had to struggle a bit to keep up. 

“Minseok and Jongdae are already there,” Yixing said as they approached, pointing inside where the lights were dimmer. In the second row, around the middle, Baekhyun saw Minseok and Jongdae whispering amongst themselves with three spots free beside them. 

“Why’d they get seats in the front? Now, no one behind Chanyeol is going to see the stage,” Baekhyun snickered but yelped when Chanyeol elbowed him hard on the ribs. 

“Ow,” Baekhyun whined but walked inside the theater with them to take their seats. 

Once they settled in their seats, Jongdae to his right and Yixing on his left, Baekhyun whipped out his phone. There was another text from Jongin. 

Yixing and Jongdae started talking about where they planned to eat over him while they waited. 

_I think I just saw you take your seats. We’re up on the balcony, though. My friend likes the view better up here._

Baekhyun hunched a bit to hide his phone from both sides (but mostly from Jongdae) before sending a reply. 

_Yeah. I think the view is better higher up, too. Too bad I’m down here._

Someone announced that the musical was about to start so Baekhyun muted his phone and slipped it back in his pocket, assuming the Jongin did the same. 

Leaning back comfortably, Baekhyun stared straight ahead, ready to immerse himself in the story. 

“You did great, Soo. You almost made Baekhyun cry,” Chanyeol said as he put an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulder. 

“Almost,” Baekhyun reminded him. 

“You were sniffling, though,” Jongdae laughed. 

“It’s not my fault you’re all heartless.” 

They had all gathered backstage after getting permission via Kyungsoo who seemed reluctant to give it but smiled and blushed anyway when they showered him with praise. 

He smiled brightly, still wearing his stage costume for the last scene as Minseok gave him the bouquet he and Jongdae had bought, his lips forming the heart they were famous for. Kyungsoo shook his head and laughed every time somebody reminded him of a particular scene and praised his socks off for it. 

“You don’t have an after party tonight, right?” Yixing asked when the kids finally calmed down. 

Kyungsoo shook his head. 

“They want us to rest tonight. We have another show tomorrow.” 

“Told you,” Yixing smiled up at Chanyeol before turning back to Kyungsoo. “Want to join us for dinner?” 

“I’d love to.” 

Jongdae and Baekhyun let out whoops of joy, making quite a few staff look at them curiously. Both of them inclined their head and apologized sheepishly. 

“I have to congratulate some of the cast first, though. You should go on ahead and I’ll follow. Which restaurant are we eating at?” 

“We’ve been asking that amongst ourselves the whole day,” Minseok chuckled. “We haven’t decided.” 

“We’ll just text you,” Yixing laughed, shaking his head before ushering everyone out through the back, muttering all the while. “Come on, come on. We’re blocking the way.” 

They said their goodbyes, congratulating Kyungsoo again and patting him on the back and shoulder before leaving. 

Baekhyun grinned at Kyungsoo and ruffled his hair before he could protest. 

“See you later,” Baekhyun sang before rushing to catch up with the others. 

They were already crowded beside Chanyeol’s car, waiting because Yixing told them to, when Baekhyun remembered something and started whining. 

“What?” Jongdae turned to him, amused. 

“Kyungsoo didn’t introduce me to Kim Junmyeon,” Baekhyun pouted but quickly took his mind off of it. He hadn’t been able to meet up with Jongin either. 

Quickly, Baekhyun took out his phone and sent Jongin a text asking where he was. 

“I doubt we could fit in the car,” Baekhyun heard Chanyeol tell Yixing, making him look up from his phone. 

“Oh, don’t worry about that. Sehun brought his own car. They’ll just follow us there.” 

“If we ever decide on which restaurant to eat at,” Minseok joked. 

“Are we waiting for someone?” Baekhyun asked, looking around. 

“Yeah, I wanted to introduce you guys to the some of your new dance instructors. They told us to wait for them out front.” 

People were crowding around them and taking pictures which were hard to ignore. Guards started coming out from the theatre and headed in their direction, probably checking what the commotion was about. 

“Well, that was a good idea,” Jongdae muttered. His own phone was out which was rare for him but Baekhyun guessed he was texting their manager, informing them on where they were headed. 

Minseok, Chanyeol and Yixing were still discussing where to eat as the guards made a protective little bubble around them when Baekhyun’s phone buzzed in his hand. 

_My friend is dragging me to meet with someone. We’re headed outside. Did you already leave?_ Jongin texted. 

Meet with someone? Was it just a coincidence or were they – 

Baekhyun didn’t get to finish the thought at the sight of two tall people gently pushing through the crowd. One of them being Kim Jongin. He couldn’t do anything but stare as Yixing raised a hand and shouted, “Sehun!”. 

The man who was pulling Jongin along raised his head at the sound of his name and raised a hand in answer. 

A few seconds of struggling on their side, Sehun and Jongin safely got through the sea of people, the guards around them letting them pass. 

“You didn’t have to shout my name, you know,” Sehun said, exhaling an amused huff. “We could tell where you were from the screaming girls.” 

“Sorry, it isn’t always like this,” Minseok made a face. 

“I doubt that,” Jongin laughed, running a hand through his hair to get his bangs out of the way of his eyes. 

Baekhyun still couldn’t stop staring as the others made idle conversation. Jongin seemed to finally realize who he was talking to. He cocked his head at Minseok, smiling a polite smile before his eyes travelled to Jongdae who stood beside him. 

Jongin looked around their small group before his eyes finally landed on Baekhyun who was trying not to look as if he was hiding behind Chanyeol. 

His small smile grew into a thousand-watt smile that made Baekhyun want to bury himself in Chanyeol’s big jacket but he mustered all of his faux courage, pretending he was on stage, and gave Jongin what could pass as a grin that hopefully didn’t scream ‘oh my god you’re gorgeous’. 

Baekhyun took a deep breath to steady himself and his thoughts. 

Jongin was wearing a striped blue shirt underneath a soft brown sweater, both over checkered pants and comfortable slip-ons. 

Baekhyun couldn’t understand why he wasn’t a model. 

“Okay,” Yixing suddenly said, breaking Baekhyun out of his trance. “I originally planned for us to introduce each other right here but seeing as we’ve caused quite the commotion – ” 

Yixing threw a pointed glance at the crowd that was slowly getting rowdier. 

“I guess we’ll just talk at the restaurant,” he continued. 

“Sounds good,” Jongin nodded, finally taking his eyes off of Baekhyun. 

“Let’s get going,” Minseok said as he opened the door and ushered first Jongdae and then Baekhyun into Chanyeol’s car. Before Minseok closed the door after he had slid in, Baekhyun caught Jongin’s eye in the sliver of space of the open door and gave him a small smile. 

“We should have gotten the security our manager suggested,” Minseok sighed once they were safely inside the car and the deafening buzz of people talking at the same time blurred to a gentle hum. 

“Nah, we’re fine,” Baekhyun reassured their leader. 

Yixing and Chanyeol explained to the guy named Sehun where they planned to eat and after a few minutes Chanyeol and Yixing were sliding into the car, too. The two guys began walking away, probably towards their ride. A few minutes later they started driving in the direction of wherever they had finally decided to eat at. 

“They’re the dance instructors you told us about?” Baekhyun asked Yixing confusedly, scooting forward from the middle. 

“I think that was established,” Yixing chuckled, looking at him weirdly. 

“Also, Baek,” Jongdae poked him on the side, making him turn to look at him. “Did you know the one who was standing beside us? He kept staring at you.” 

“And you stared back,” Minseok murmured. 

Baekhyun sat back to talk to his bandmates. 

“Yeah, he’s the artist I told you about. The one I met at the gallery I went to about a month ago.” 

“You never told us about an artist,” Minseok frowned at him. 

Had he never really told them? Baekhyun pouted as he thought it over. He hadn’t really thought about telling them about Jongin. Not because he didn’t trust them, of course – he knew they would lay down their lives for him and he felt the same. 

This part of him that strangely yearned for Kim Jongin was just something he couldn’t admit to others yet. Especially since he couldn’t admit it to himself. 

And in doing so, had kept him a secret. 

“It never really crossed my mind until now,” Baekhyun lied. “Anyway, he said he was a painter not a dancer.” 

“He can’t be both?” Chanyeol laughed from the front. 

“He looked enough like a dancer,” Jongdae pitched in. 

“Yeah, I thought he was a model with that height and those looks,” Minseok mused. 

Baekhyun had thought both the first time he ever saw him and the second every time he did. 

“He’s one of the best dancers I’ve ever had the opportunity to know,” Yixing assured Baekhyun. “I met him in school and they come to my studio now and then to visit and help choreograph. The other one, Sehun, _is_ a model though.” 

Jongdae snapped his fingers. 

“That’s why he seemed familiar. I’ve seen him on some magazine covers!” 

“Since when do you read magazines?” Baekhyun joked but Jongdae just stuck out his tongue at him. 

“What’s the other one’s name? The artist?” 

Baekhyun could feel that Minseok was directing the question at him so he didn’t hesitate to look at him and give an answer. 

“Kim Jongin.” 

“Yeah,” Yixing nodded. “And if I remember correctly he actually lives a street away from your dorms.” 

At this, Baekhyun had to look away because the gleam in Minseok’s gaze told him that he had realized something. Too late, Baekhyun realized that looking away only made him seem more suspicious. Thankfully, Jongdae didn’t seem to notice something was amiss. 

Minseok nudged Baekhyun gently on the side, making Baekhyun reluctantly look at him. 

‘What are you hiding?’ Minseok whispered so low that even Jongdae wouldn’t have been able to hear. 

Minseok had always been perceptive. It’s why he made a great leader for the group. He always, _always_ , knew when one of them had been keeping secrets. He had been able to weasel out the fact that Baekhyun had been going out to play games with Chanyeol before, Baekhyun had no doubt he could get this out of him to. 

‘I’m not hiding anything,’ Baekhyun insisted in a whisper which got him a sharp punch on the arm. Baekhyun yelped and tried to laugh Minseok’s accusations off because Jongdae had begun looking at them curiously. 

‘Byun Baekhyun,’ Minseok hissed. 

‘What?’ Baekhyun hissed back. 

‘There’s something you’re not telling us. Spit it out _now_.’ 

Now, Jongdae was certainly curious, leaning in from Baekhyun’s other side to join the conversation. Baekhyun did his best to push him away as Jongdae whined to be included. 

Yixing and Chanyeol had begun sneaking amused glances at the three of them wrestling in the backseat through the rearview mirror. 

‘Right now? With everyone here?’ Baekhyun whispered furiously at Minseok as he struggled with Jongdae who had begun trying to tickle his sides which got him squirming in his seat. 

“What are you two talking about?” Jongdae demanded from Baekhyun. 

“Nothing! Nothing!” Baekhyun yelled, between gasps of effort to keep himself from succumbing to the tickles and laughing. 

Baekhyun met Minseok’s gaze that burned with the words of ‘Fine, we’ll talk about this later.’ 

Baekhyun pouted at him. 

“You guys really are noisy when you’re together in one car,” Yixing laughed as he looked over his shoulder to see Baekhyun pushing Jongdae away who had forgotten why he was wrestling with Baekhyun in the first place. 

“I didn’t really believe your manager when he complained about you being too loud, but I can see now that he wasn’t exaggerating,” Chanyeol chuckled as he nodded in agreement with Yixing, meeting Baekhyun’s gaze in the rearview mirror for a split second. 

The three of them flushed in embarrassment and settled themselves properly in their seats as Minseok sighed. 

“I suppose we should be thankful Baekhyun hasn’t started singing.” 

“No promises,” Baekhyun laughed, inwardly dreading the conversation he was going to inevitably have with Minseok. 

They arrived at the restaurant in one piece, thankfully. The owners and waiting staff were delighted to see them there but they were nothing less of polite and welcoming. 

All five of them gave their best winning smiles and requested for a table somewhere in the back. Yixing informed them that there were a few of them still arriving and that they should direct them to the table. 

The waiters hastily pushed four tables together to fit all 8 of them (Baekhyun reminded them of Kyungsoo), even if the boys themselves said they could do it for themselves, they had insisted. 

Baekhyun only remembered to text Kyungsoo the restaurant’s name and location details. He got a text back that was asking if he could bring someone with him. Baekhyun agreed without asking the others, besides it was probably just his manager so he didn’t think too much into it. 

They had just settled on their chairs and had opened their menus and were starting to decide on what to order when two of their supposed companions arrived. Jongin and Sehun. 

They walked in with soft grins on their faces only now getting to bow in greeting for all of them. 

“Guys, like I said,” Yixing began as they approached. “This is Kim Jongin and Oh Sehun. They’ll be helping me with the choreographies for your upcoming concert. This is Park Chanyeol – “ 

Yixing pointed to each as he introduced them. They all exchanged shy waves and nods as opposed to handshakes that seemed too formal for their gathering. 

Baekhyun grinned at Jongin as he took the seat beside him and Sehun took the one opposite Jongin beside Yixing, trying not to look as flustered as he felt. 

He tried to open his mouth to say something but he found that it was glued shut by the fact that Minseok was sitting to his left and would probably hear the conversation. So he kept that tight-lipped smile that Jongin looked at weirdly and handed him a menu, turning away from him to study the menu he and Minseok shared. 

After a few minutes, Chanyeol began asking up and down the table what they wanted. They debated for a while on what to get and how many. Jongin and Sehun seemed to fit right in with them, laughing at the jokes and smiling when Baekhyun and Chanyeol had a small argument on whether they should get alcohol or juice. 

Which was resolved by Minseok and Yixing saying that they should just get what they want as they rubbed their temples. 

When the chaos of ordering was over, the others began making small talk. In the midst of listening to Chanyeol talk better, Baekhyun felt his whole body tense up when Jongin leaned closer to his side to hear better. 

He was wearing the same perfume he was wearing the night they first met and Baekhyun was shocked to find that he remembered the exact scent. 

Baekhyun tried his best to focus on Chanyeol’s voice to keep himself from staring at Jongin’s face. His chin was propped up by hand, his cheek a few inches away from Baekhyun’s lips that if he were to turn just a bit, he might end up pecking it. 

Baekhyun didn’t do that, of course, instead he tried to keep the table lively as they waited for their food, Kyungsoo and his companion. 

“How have you been?” Jongin asked him when the conversation had simmered down and people had begun talking to the person sitting beside them. 

“Since the 12 hours we’ve seen each other?” Baekhyun asked in return, amused. 

“Yes,” Jongin chuckled. “I’m curious as to how an idol spends his days off.” 

“Well, I definitely didn’t play games all day on the computer if that’s what you’re asking.” 

That got him a warm laugh and Baekhyun had to grit his teeth, smiling cheekily to stop himself from flushing so obviously at the sound. 

What the hell was wrong with him tonight? Every single thing Jongin turned Baekhyun into a pile of mush he couldn’t even understand. He wanted to bang his head on the table to hopefully get himself together but seeing as how that would only earn him weird looks, he went against it. 

“I didn’t know you were a dancer,” Baekhyun prodded Jongin after he had taken a sip of water. “I mean, at first glance I thought you were but after you introduced yourself as an artist, it skipped my mind.” 

Jongin seemed to wince inwardly but he kept up his smile. 

“I’ve been dancing since I was – 8, I think? Painting even longer. Sometimes one is the hobby and the other an occupation and other times they switch but it’s all fun since it means I don’t have to let go of either.” 

“And he’s never out of a job either,” Sehun joined in from the other side of the table, grinning at Baekhyun. “Lucky bastard.” 

“Coming from you,” Jongin shot back. “Model. Dancer. Actor.” 

“Don’t forget handsome,” Sehun smirked. 

“And humble, obviously,” Jongin rolled his eyes. 

Baekhyun watched the interaction interestedly and amusedly. It was interesting to see how Jongin interacted with anyone other than himself because he got to see different sides of him. 

They seemed like good friends, Baekhyun wondered if Sehun knew why Jongin had been down during those last weeks. He’d never seen him visit the studio before. 

Then again, Baekhyun only ever passed by the studio every morning, so he didn’t know what went on during the afternoons or even the evenings. 

“Ignore him,” Jongin said to him, turning to look at him again. “He’s just annoying.” 

“Annoyingly charming, maybe.” 

“See what I mean?” 

Baekhyun just laughed. 

“How do you two know each other?” Baekhyun found himself asking. 

Jongin seemed surprised by the question, glancing at Sehun to meet his amused eyes. 

“We met back in high school,” Sehun told him, directing those sharp eyes at him. They gleamed happily, making him look younger. “He was a dance prodigy and I wasn’t far behind. I hated his guts.” 

The three of them hadn’t noticed when all the others had gone quiet to listen to the story, which was good because Sehun might’ve gotten too shy to talk. 

Jongin snorted at that. “He tried bullying me but found that I was too nice for him to insult. Whenever he approached me to say something harsh during breaks, I’d just laugh and offer him some cream bread. He took them without hesitation, of course.” 

“By then I forgot all about my hatred for him just started going to him to get my daily dose of bread,” Sehun sniffed. 

“And I started bringing extra for him. Just like that we became friends.” 

“Anyone would be friends with anyone if they offered them food back in high school,” Jongdae agreed. Sehun and Jongin looked at him in surprise when they realized they were all listening in to the story. 

They looked around sheepishly. 

“Great, now I look lame,” Sehun joked. 

“And Jongin seems like an angel now more than ever,” Yixing chuckled. 

“If angels existed here on Earth, I’d like to believe I’d be one,” Sehun argued. 

“If that’s the case then I should be one, too,” Baekhyun piped in with a mischievous grin on his face. “I mean have you seen me?” 

“You look more like a puppy than an angel, though?” Minseok said as he studied him. 

Everyone around the table agreed, nodding. 

“I can’t be both?!” Baekhyun demanded, looking around, offended, and making them burst into laughter. 

Soon the food arrived and they began cooking the meat in front of the grills in front of them. There were two on the long table. One was handled by Chanyeol and the other by Jongin. 

“Kyungsoo’s on his way,” Baekhyun announced as he glanced at the text on his phone. 

“Oh? Do Kyungsoo is going to join us?” Jongin asked as he lined the slabs of meat neatly across the hot grill. 

“Junmyeon didn’t even want to join us when I asked him, too,” Sehun sulked. 

“He _did_ say he was invited somewhere else by a friend,” Jongin pointed out. 

“What other friends does he have beside us?” Sehun joked. 

“You’re friends with Kim Junmyeon?” Baekhyun turned to Jongin with wide eyes. The latter glanced at him in surprise before laughing. 

“Why do you look so surprised? I’m sure you’re friends with a lot more famous people.” 

“It’s just – I’ve never met him and I’m a huge fan.” 

Sehun snorted. “You wouldn’t say that if you’ve ever had the immense pleasure of hearing one of his jokes. Sometimes I don’t know if I should laugh in pity or cry.” 

That made Jongin laugh loudly. Baekhyun noticed that his voice got all high-pitched when he did that. It was funny but endearing. 

“Well, we’ve got a master of cold jokes here, too,” Baekhyun smirked, jabbing a thumb at his side in Minseok’s direction. “I doubt I’m missing out on anything.” 

Luckily, Minseok was too busy helping Chanyeol operate the grill to hear Baekhyun. 

“I’ll introduce you two next time,” Jongin promised and Baekhyun nodded gratefully. 

Apparently, Baekhyun didn’t have to wait that long for next time because Kim Junmyeon arrived 5 minutes later, trailing behind Kyungsoo with a polite smile on his face. 

Baekhyun had stood up to welcome Kyungsoo but he ended up bowing when he spotted Junmyeon just right behind him, Jongdae, Minseok, Chanyeol and Yixing following suit. 

Jongin was already standing because he was reaching for some sauce over on the other side but he didn’t bother to bow; Sehun didn’t even stand. 

Kim Junmyeon seemed amused to see Jongin and Sehun there seeing as he burst out laughing at the sight of Sehun frowning at him. 

“I thought you were invited to have dinner with a friend,” Sehun pouted at Junmyeon accusingly. They must be pretty close if Sehun could talk to him like that, Baekhyun mused. 

“I _was_ ,” Junmyeon said defensively, a handsome smile still on his face. “Kyungsoo was the one who invited me. I had no idea you two were also going to be here.” 

Baekhyun walked over to Kyungsoo first as Junmyeon went around introducing himself to others. He was busy introducing himself to Sehun and Jongin, both who shook his outstretched hand amusedly (Junmyeon was doing the same with others), ever the polite gentleman. 

After they had gone through the proper introductions and Jongin had gone back to cooking but not before flashing Baekhyun a small smile when their eyes met (Baekhyun seriously started doubting how he’d be able to survive the night. He remembered that Minseok was still demanding an explanation. He suppressed a sigh.), Baekhyun pulled Kyungsoo to the side. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were bringing Junmyeon,” Baekhyun asked Kyungsoo confusedly. 

“I wanted to surprise you. I knew you wanted to meet him,” Kyungsoo said simply, before moving to occupy the empty seat beside Chanyeol but Baekhyun pulled him back for a second to ruffle his hair in thanks. Kyungsoo widened his eyes at him threateningly but smiled nonetheless. 

Junmyeon sat at the head of the table, between Kyungsoo and Jongdae. 

“Should we order some more food?” Yixing asked, now worriedly looking at the spread of food across the table. 

“Nah,” Chanyeol said, cutting the meat into bite-sized pieces and setting them aside now. “We ordered enough food for 12 people here, even with Baekhyun included.” 

“I heard that.” 

The table laughed good-naturedly and soon conversation flowed seamlessly between all of them. First, congratulating Kyungsoo and Junmyeon on a successful opening night and then it led to talks about CBX’s comeback which led to various miscellaneous things. 

Soon, they were all comfortable enough around each other that the others started cracking jokes. 

Sehun snickered and gave Baekhyun a knowing wink when Minseok and Junmyeon started praising each other’s humor, Jongdae in between them looking pained. Baekhyun knew he hated lame jokes just as much as he did. 

Baekhyun took one around the table like he knew all of them had done at least once and had the biting feeling that the 9 of them were meant to be together like that, laughing and telling stories like good friends. 

“You guys are pretty fun,” Jongin said admittedly as they walked side by side out of the restaurant, the others trailing behind. “Practice should be enjoyable.” 

“We get pretty aggressive and irritated when we’re tired so watch out,” Baekhyun shook his head jokingly. Jongin laughed his high-pitched laugh at that. 

“You, aggressive? That would be a sight to see.” 

Baekhyun was glad Yixing had invited them to this dinner with the others tonight. Things between him and Jongin were much more natural now, comfortable even. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Jongin suddenly said turning to him right as they exited the doors, the staff greeting them on their way out and the both of them bowing in thanks. 

Baekhyun looked up at him curiously. 

“You look really cute in that long-sleeved shirt,” Jongin said as if he hadn’t just landed a blow through Baekhyun’s heart, smiling at him cutely. “I like seeing you in normal everyday clothes better than your stage outfits.” 

Baekhyun looked down at what he was wearing. Simple and normal clothes compared to the style that Jongin bore. 

“Oh – uh – I,” Baekhyun stuttered. Screw being comfortable with Kim Jongin, Baekhyun swore. He had to keep his guard up at all times. 

Baekhyun cleared his throat when Jongin looked at him curiously, that smile still on his face. The others passed by them, talking in groups and invested in their own conversations. . Kyungsoo had left half an hour earlier than the others because of a schedule he had. His manager, after eating out with the other people Kyungsoo worked with came to pick him up. 

“You probably haven’t seen me in my best stage outfits then,” Baekhyun said, trying to pick up his scattered and forgotten bravado. 

Jongin hummed to himself, considering. 

“Maybe.” 

Soon, the others around them started separating, Sehun and Junmyeon together and his friends on the other side, walking opposite directions to get to their cars. 

“Jongin, let’s go!” Sehun called out when he was a meters away, Junmyeon beside him looking over his shoulder to see Jongin and him still at the entrance. 

“It was nice meeting you!” Junmyeon shouted, raising a hand in a wave for Baekhyun. 

“You, too!” Baekhyun replied equally as enthusiastic. He looked over his shoulder to see that Yixing and the others were starting to climb unto Chanyeol’s jeep. 

“So, I guess I’ll see you at practice tomorrow?” Jongin gave him a smile. 

“Yeah, can’t wait,” Baekhyun smiled back before turning around and jogging toward the car. 

“You two got close fast,” Yixing commented when Baekhyun slid in after Minseok. Baekhyun found himself nodding at Yixing’s words, trying not to meet Minseok’s questioning stare. 

“We were just catching up. We didn’t get to talk much during the art exhibition,” Baekhyun merely explained. 

“The two of them seemed cool,” Jongdae said. “I think it’ll be fun to work with them.” 

“Yeah, I think so, too,” Minseok said, glancing at Baekhyun from the corner of his eye. 

“Alright,” Minseok said, barging into Baekhyun’s room an hour after Chanyeol and Yixing had dropped them off. Jongdae was probably already asleep in his room. It was a little after midnight and Baekhyun had also been tempted to hit the hay but he had no doubt that Minseok would’ve have woken him up anyway. 

“Spill,” Minseok plopped down on his bed as Baekhyun wheeled his desk chair this way and that. 

It could’ve been because it was late or maybe it was because Baekhyun only now noticed how heavy this weight on him had gotten without anyone to share his problems with, but he was ready to do just that. Spill. 

The one secret he had been hiding from others and was scared of admitting to himself. 

Worrying at his lip, he thought of where to start and came up blank. 

He met Minseok’s eyes and saw that they had softened from their blazing determined look they had just moments ago and he sighed. 

“What do you want to know?” Baekhyun finally just said. Letting Minseok ask the questions might be easier for the both of them to understand the answer. 

“This isn’t the second time you and that Kim Jongin have seen each other.” 

“That’s not a question but yes.” 

“Have you been visiting him in the studio Yixing mentioned?” Minseok cocked his head. “Is that why you’ve been leaving earlier and walking instead?” 

“Uhm, not exactly and yes,” Baekhyun pursed his lips. The answer to the first question was hard to explain. He wasn’t sure if it was alright to reveal to Minseok what Baekhyun had seen that one morning when the artist had had a break down and the days that followed after. 

Baekhyun snorted inwardly at himself. It’s not like he knew either what had happened that morning. 

Minseok leaned forward. 

“What do you mean, ‘not exactly’?” 

And so, Baekhyun tried his best to explain how the studio he passed by each morning and the artist he saw in it. How he’d actually been interested in it even before he had met Kim Jongin and how they’d run into each other only once before the ‘incident’. How he’d been leaving notes and gifts when he had noticed he was down. 

“But why?” Minseok frowned at him, before raising his hands, palms facing Baekhyun. “Don’t get me wrong, it was very nice of you to comfort him in your own weird way when he was having a hard time.” 

Baekhyun made a face when Minseok said ‘weird’ but let him continue. 

“Why would you do it? You barely knew the guy and he barely knew you.” 

Now, that was the hard question, wasn’t it? 

Baekhyun scrunched his face up in a struggle to admit it. He’d known for quite some time now but admitting it out loud was… terrifying. Keeping it to himself, he could almost pretend it wasn’t true but having it said out in the open just made it seem more real and having to face that fact scared Baekhyun more than he cared to admit. 

It wasn’t that he was ashamed of himself. He was just sure that he wasn’t ready to face the consequences that came with admitting it out loud. 

Minseok stared at him as he struggled to find his words so much so that Minseok had to smile a bit. 

“I’ve been keeping a secret of mine for a while, too,” he admitted, looking away to the open window that blew in a cool night breeze into Baekhyun’s room. 

“I don’t even know if I should be impressed at myself for keeping it a secret so long or be disappointed in the two of you that you never noticed, Jongdae especially.” 

Minseok said all of this, amused. 

Baekhyun wondered at the reason why Minseok decided all of the sudden to confess his own secrets too before coming to the conclusion that he was doing it for his sake as much as he was doing it for Baekhyun’s. He was probably just as tired of holding it all in as Baekhyun was and was trying to muster up the courage to say his first so Baekhyun could too. 

A strange warmth rushed through Baekhyun and a fondness for his leader, his friend, settled into his heart. 

“Please don’t tell me you accidentally killed someone and stuffed the body into one of the closets,” Baekhyun joked to get the tension out of the air. 

Minseok let out an amused and startled outburst, laughing with Baekhyun. 

“It’s nothing like that.” 

“Good. Because I have no idea how to dispose a dead body,” Baekhyun pretended to shudder, sharing a smile with Minseok. 

The elder shook his head, clearly amused. 

“I’m in love with Jongdae,” he said. 

Baekhyun blinked. 

And then blinked again as he tried to process the words. 

Then he started rifling through his memories for all the times that even a hint of this confession surfaced in the way Minseok looked at, talked to or even mentioned Jongdae. But he couldn’t remember a single time it was obvious. Or had he just been blinded by his own problems to see that his friend was going through the same thing. 

“Oh, don’t look so confused,” Minseok laughed, completely comfortable. “I told you I was good at hiding secrets.” 

“Wah,” Minseok exclaimed, plopping down and landing on his back on the bed. “It feels good to have that off my chest. Finally!” 

Baekhyun watched him sigh in relief and could only stare, he was completely speechless. Even his mind had gone blank. Minseok, their leader was in love with their best friend who was probably as dense as Baekhyun was. 

“You don’t need to comfort me, though. That wasn’t the reason I told you.” 

Minseok sat up again and smiled softly at Baekhyun. 

“I told you so you knew that I wouldn’t judge you for what you’re about to say. I would never judge you even if I weren’t in the same boat. Hell, even Jongdae wouldn’t judge you. You just have to trust us.” 

Baekhyun only nodded soundlessly. 

“So, are you attracted to this Kim Jongin?” Minseok prodded him gently. 

“Yea – “ Baekhyun’s voice got caught in his throat. He cleared it. “Yeah, I think so.” 

He was a blushing mess now. Minseok stood up and gave him a pat on the back before ruffling his hair. 

“No matter what happens,” Minseok began, his voice suddenly soft. “I will always support you, hm?” 

“Ditto,” Baekhyun sniffled. 

Despite getting the weight of his sexuality off of his shoulders now that he and Minseok’s secrets were each other’s to bear, Baekhyun felt that he was more conscious now than ever. 

For example, when he walked out of the kitchen to find that Minseok and Jongdae were sitting side by side on the dining table, watching something from Minseok’s laptop, close enough that their shoulders brushed against each other; it was just like any other day. 

But to Baekhyun it felt _weird_ andfull of awkward tension now that he knew how Minseok felt for Jongdae. Baekhyun half-convinced himself that Minseok had told Jongdae about him but was pleasantly surprised and relieved when Jongdae didn’t say anything when he sat in his usual seat across from them. 

Before long, Baekhyun got up again and got ready to leave. 

“Walking to work again?” Minseok asked him, a knowing look on his face. 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun just smiled at him, and waved goodbye to Jongdae. 

Baekhyun had no idea how Minseok could spend all that alone time with Jongdae and still manage not to confess. If he thought about it deeply, it was both impressive and sad. Impressive because he had that much self-control not to be selfish and sad because he was so used to having nothing but friendship with Jongdae that he didn’t expect anything else anymore. 

He pouted as he walked down the street, shaking his head as he went. 

He shouldn’t meddle into others’ lives, even if they were his friends. Ultimately, it was Minseok’s decision in the end if he ever decides to tell Jongdae. 

Baekhyun had his own heart-wrenching problems to deal with. 

Now that he had admitted his feelings for Kim Jongin went beyond mere admiration, Baekhyun felt like he was a tight ball of tension, jumpy and nervous. 

He had brought along a note in his pocket to put on the door to his studio. 

He had thought about it long into the night, whether he should continue leaving notes despite seeing that Jongin was already seemingly alright. But Baekhyun found himself wanting to continue the tradition both because it would seem suspicious if he suddenly stopped and because he honestly enjoyed doing it. 

The opportunity was lost to him as soon as he had the studio in his sight, though. 

Because there was Kim Jongin, waiting outside, casually leaning against the wall and scrolling through his phone. 

Baekhyun pressed his lips together in as his heartbeat suddenly quickened. He had not expected to see him so early. He assumed they’d just meet later in the afternoon when their official practice with them was scheduled. 

Taking a deep breath and steeling his pounding heart, Baekhyun approached. 

Jongin didn’t seem to notice him, too engrossed in squinting at his phone. He was wearing black track pants today with a gray hoodie over it to battle the soft bite of the chilly morning air, his hair hidden in a beanie on top of his head. 

“You’ll scare away your admirer if you wait for them outside like that,” Baekhyun called out to him, forcing lightness into his tone as he waited for him on the bottom of the stairs. 

Jongin finally looked up from his phone to look at him with mild surprise from being interrupted. When he recognized Baekhyun’s features his face broke out into a grin. 

“I was actually waiting for you,” he said, pocketing his phone and nimbly walking down the steps toward Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun raised his eyebrows. 

“Me?” 

“Yeah, so we can walk to your company building together,” Jongin smiled at him with all the glowing freshness of an early morning sunrise. “Yixing called us in early.” 

“Ah,” Baekhyun merely said, nodding. His breathing was a bit shallow and his head was dizzy from Jongin’s smile but he managed to smile back. 

“Let’s get going, then.” 

They arrived at building around 15 minutes later without any incident which was a miracle since Baekhyun was worried he’d trip over his own feet the whole time. 

But the walk was comfortable as they talked with each other, Baekhyun feeling more and more relaxed as time passed. 

As Jongin talked about himself and other things, Baekhyun only found him more and more interesting. He was content with just listening but Jongin seemed to think otherwise because he kept asking Baekhyun questions about himself. 

Soon, Baekhyun practically knew about both of his sisters, his dogs and his niece and nephew and Jongin knew about his own family and his own dog. 

Baekhyun enjoyed listening to Jongin rave on and on about his niece and nephew. He seemed to glow at the mention of them. He had a thousand stories that made him laugh as he told them. Jongin clearly adored them Baekhyun could see that and seeing the wonder and excitement in Jongin’s eyes made him look so much younger and cuter. 

Soon they were walking into the basement practice room where they found Yixing blasting the familiar tune of one of their sidetracks on the speakers. 

He seemed to be concentrating, a frown on his face as he bopped his head to the beat. 

His expression brightened when he saw their reflections on the mirrors, though, a smile breaking across his face, showing that deep dimple on his cheek. 

“Hey,” he said, walking over to the control area to pause the track. “You’re here.” 

Baekhyun walked over to the small area carved into the wall where they could leave their things and lounge around, putting his bag down and hopping along beside it as Yixing and Jongin talked. 

“I don’t have anything to do for at least another hour so could you just wake me up when Jongdae and Minseok arrive?” Baekhyun yawned playfully, laying his head down on his bag and curling up on his side. He hadn’t even notice how tired he was. He figured talking to Jongin and being all around that sunshine was taxing on his energy as it was enjoyable. 

Jongin and Yixing approached him, chuckling under their breaths. 

“Why’d you even bother coming in early?” Yixing asked as poked him on the arm, Baekhyun trying in vain to swat his finger away. 

“Early bird catches the worm and all that jazz,” Baekhyun muttered, already closing his eyes. 

“Sehun’s on his way,” Baekhyun heard Jongin tell Yixing. 

“I thought you two would come in together,” Yixing mused. “Did you two run into each other on your way in?” 

Baekhyun assumed they were talking about him. 

“No, we actually walked all the way here from the studio. He passes by it on the days he gets called in by the company.” 

Baekhyun didn’t hear Yixing say anything but he imagined he was nodding in understanding. 

“It’s good that you get along with him already. I was thinking about their solo stages for the concert and I figured it’d be fun to showcase the diversity of their dancing styles if they were choreographed each by a different dancer.” 

Jongin made a considering hum. 

At this point in the conversation Baekhyun was actually already feeling drowsy so he didn’t catch the next words exchanged between the two of them. He didn’t understand what they’d meant about the choreography of their solo stages. 

Where they going to call in more choreographers? 

The thought swam away from his mind as Baekhyun succumbed to the exhaustion he didn’t even know he carried, and fell asleep. 

He had no idea how long he had dozed off when he stirred slightly awake the first time. 

“Why did you call Baekhyun here just to let him sleep anyway?” Someone said amusedly. He was far away and strangely his voice echoed. “Can I join him?” 

Was Baekhyun in his room? 

“He has a habit of walking here from the dorms early I just went along with it. And no, Sehun.” 

This voice was familiar and warm and nearer to wear Baekhyun lay. 

“Possessive?” Sehun said teasingly. 

“Practical,” the warm voice argued. “You’d never fit in that small space.” 

“Sure, Jongin. It’s definitely _not_ because you’ll get jealous.” 

Jongin. Yeah, the artist who was also apparently a dancer and was easy on the eyes. His Kim Jongin. 

Wait, what was Kim Jongin doing in his room? 

Baekhyun’s eyes flew open and he sat up in a rush, making him dizzy. His arms flew up to clutch his head as he swayed to the side, expecting to land on another part of his bed except a pair of warm hands, one on his bent knee and the other at his shoulder, stopped him doing so. 

He heard someone laugh but the voice beside him exclaimed in surprise. 

“You okay?” Jongin asked him. The voice closer now, practically right beside his ear. 

Baekhyun nodded blindly, waiting for the head rush to pass. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry I just forgot where I was.” 

“You’re in one of the practice rooms inside your building and you’ve been sleeping in the sitting area for roughly an hour.” 

The way he talked was oddly comforting, like he was threatening to lull Baekhyun back to sleep after waking up from a nightmare. 

Baekhyun finally shifted to the side properly, letting his legs fall off the side, Jongin’s hand retreating away and opening his eyes. 

To find Jongin looking worriedly at him, his face closer to his than it had ever been before. His other hand was still on Baekhyun’s shoulder, warm and heavy. 

Baekhyun blinked at him, processing their proximity before flying backward in shock making him hit his head on the wall behind him with a thud. 

Great, now he was blushing madly and his back of his head throbbed painfully. 

“Shit,” Jongin cursed, when Baekhyun bent over to rub over the sore spot. He slid in the space beside him, letting Baekhyun see behind him where Sehun was watching on amusedly. 

Baekhyun was about to let out an awkward ‘hi’ but it stuck on his throat when Jongin started massaging the forming bruising area, his fingers soft against Baekhyun’s hair. 

Somehow, as if Sehun knew what the action was doing to Baekhyun, Sehun’s eyes gleamed at him knowingly, much like Minseok’s had that morning. 

“Sorry for surprising you,” Jongin said from beside him, finally taking his hand away when Baekhyun turned to him with a grunt. 

“Not your fault.” Baekhyun mumbled. 

He wasn’t sure if he had actually woken up or he was still blissfully asleep but the sound of Sehun dragging a chair over to them seemed to be too real to be a dream. 

Baekhyun squinted at the both of them. 

“Where’s Yixing?” 

“Said he had to get something,” Sehun shrugged. 

“And the other members?” 

“I heard Chen was recording upstairs, Yixing told me” Jongin offered helpfully. “Xiumin, I don’t know.” 

“Call them by their real names, it’s alright,” Baekhyun assured him. “They haven’t come by here since they arrived?” 

“No. That’s why we didn’t wake you.” 

Baekhyun pursed his lips, nodding. 

Jongin stood up from where he perched beside Baekhyun to pull Sehun to the control area to show him something. 

Baekhyun fished his phone out of his pocket and checked the time and scheduled activities he had for the day. He, Jongdae and Minseok were supposed to meet in half an hour to talk about the pre-recording of a variety show tomorrow with their managers and team. 

He sent a text to Jongdae to pick him up when he was done with the recording and they could go to the meeting room together before pocketing his phone again. 

Yawning loudly, he ran his hand through his hair and stretched his neck this way and that. 

“You’re very noisy when you’re asleep, you know. Well, the same could be said from when you’re awake, too, so there isn’t much difference,” Sehun suddenly said, Jongin smiling brightly beside him. 

“Yeah, I’ve been told that a lot,” Baekhyun flushed. “Sorry if it’s weird or anything.” 

Jongin just shook his head as he laughed. 

“It’s actually cute so you shouldn’t apologize.” 

That only made Baekhyun flush deeper but thankfully their attention was pulled elsewhere when the doors opened to reveal Minseok and Yixing walking in. 

Jongin and Sehun smiled politely and inclined their heads in Minseok’s direction, his friend did the same before turning to Baekhyun. 

“Baek, it’s time to go,” he said. 

Baekhyun nodded and without another word grabbed his bag and ran to Minseok’s side. 

“See you guys later,” Yixing said over his shoulder. They both said goodbyes and from behind he caught Jongin’s eye. 

He smiled and waved and Baekhyun swore, just as he was turning away, that he saw Sehun nudge Jongin playfully. 

But, of course, that could’ve just been his imagination. 

“Did Jongdae send you to pick me up?” Baekhyun asked Minseok, a small smile on his face. 

“Yeah, he was a bit busy so I went in his stead.” 

“I love the nation’s boyfriend.” 

“Shut up, Byun.” 

The meeting went fine so that meant pre-recording tomorrow was a go. It would take a few hours to shoot and would air a month from then, like always and after, they’d have to go back to the office to practice. 

Their comeback was in a week and that meant that they’d have to go to early morning music show pre-recordings and interviews and things that were tiring as hell but was probably the highlight of an idol’s year. 

After promotions they’d have to work on their concert and other solo activities both in Korea and overseas. 

It sounded hectic and downright exhausting but Baekhyun was nothing less than thrilled for all of it. He missed interacting with their fans. 

For the past few months, he’d only been able to interact with them through chance meetings in the street or through posts and comments on his SNS accounts (whenever he remembered he had them.) 

“Should we grab lunch outside or what?” Jongdae asked as their manager left them to their own devices, having other things to talk about with the officials. 

“Maybe we should order take-out?” Baekhyun offered. “And eat with Chanyeol at the cafeteria?” 

“Or we could just buy _at_ the cafeteria,” Minseok pointed out. 

Baekhyun was about to veto the idea until he saw Yixing, Jongin and Sehun with their back-up dancers walk in the cafeteria meters away from them, laughing and talking amongst themselves. 

“The cafeteria it is then,” Baekhyun said without a second thought. 

Minseok chuckled and shook his head amusedly while Jongdae walked along only mildly confused. 

“There’s something you two aren’t telling me,” Jongdae said, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at them. Baekhyun looked guiltily toward him but before he could spew another set of lies, Minseok through an arm around Jongdae’s shoulders and steered him forward. 

“It’s nothing you have to worry your pretty little head about,” Minseok reassured him. 

Baekhyun watched them on sadly. He was frustrated that he still couldn’t tell Jongdae yet. Why had it been easy to tell Minseok that night but he couldn’t bring himself to bring it up with Jongdae? 

He was just as much of a friend as Minseok was. Baekhyun didn’t want to keep lying to him but he didn’t want to spread around this crush of his, be teased and hyped for it by the _both_ of them, only to come home one day with a broken heart. 

So, until he was sure with his feelings with Jongin and was secure enough in himself and his sexuality not to get hurt when Jongin finally finds out and rejects him, he was going to keep it a secret. 

When it’s all over and done with, he promised to himself to tell Jongdae about all of it. 

Practice was fun… to say the least. 

First, they practiced the choreography for Blooming Day, their title song, with their back-up dancers, filming themselves again and again to monitor for their mistakes. 

Baekhyun already had the dance memorized to the dot but with Jongin there, watching his every move, cross-legged on the floor, he couldn’t help but feel just a bit self-conscious. 

He made a few mistakes for the first few times which the choreographer called him out for and Baekhyun had to apologize profusely, shaking his head at himself in frustration. He gritted his teeth as they got back into position to remind himself that it what he was doing was really unprofessional. 

Seeing his frustrated vibe, Jongin tried to give him a comforting and encouraging smile as Sehun gave him a thumbs-up from where they sat on the floor. 

Baekhyun took a deep breath and tried again. 

The next few rounds went by without a hitch and they were finally given a 10-minute break. The others, like him, collapsed to their knees. 

Sehun and Jongin crawled over to them, with their water bottles in hand. 

“The choreography was pretty tight, don’t you think? Sharp moves and great dynamic,” Sehun muttered to Jongin as the three of them gulped down their water in silence. 

Jongin nodded in agreement. 

Baekhyun rarely saw him this serious with anything. The expression on his face was akin to the one he wore whenever Baekhyun saw him painting through the window. Though, it had been a long time since Baekhyun had witnessed that look on his face. 

“I kinda want to dance to it, too,” Jongin said, back to his usual timid-looking self. 

“It took us a long time to learn the full dance, especially working out the timing with the other dancers,” Minseok said, still a bit out of breath. Out of the five of them, he was the oldest and it rarely ever showed. 

“You’re not going to make our other performances that hard, are you?” Jongdae joked. “Personally I think I enjoy just swaying around with just a mic stand.” 

“Coincidentally,” Sehun smiled. “There _is_ a choreography for one of your songs that involves a mic stand. I don’t think it’s that hard.” 

“But that’s probably because you’re a dancing legend,” Baekhyun whined, plopping down spread-eagled on the floor. 

“Get up, you’re going to make the floor all slippery,” Minseok chided. 

Baekhyun just groaned and kicked his feet up high into the air. 

While they chatted on the floor, the other dancers were on the couches at the other side of the room, talking amongst themselves comfortably, all of them waiting for Yixing to arrive and start the second part of practice which included learning two new dances. 

After a few hours of that, there was another hour of practice for Blooming Day before they could go home and rest up for their activities tomorrow. 

“Where’s Yixing?” Jongin asked no one in particular when 15 minutes had passed. 

“I hope he never arrives,” Jongdae, who had resorted to sprawling beside Baekhyun, muttered. 

“I see you guys’ are excited to see me,” Yixing laughed, walking in. 

“He’s here.” 

“Yeah, we noticed, Sehun,” Baekhyun groaned as he pushed himself on to a sitting position. Baekhyun smiled sweetly at Yixing over a shoulder. 

“Please tell me the choreographies are easy.” 

“Well…” Yixing trailed off, biting his lip like he was caught between wanting to do as Baekhyun had said and giving him the harsh and cold ‘no’. 

“Of course not,” Baekhyun sighed dejectedly, making the people around him laugh. Jongin’s melting into a pool in Baekhyun’s stomach. 

At least Yixing looked a bit sorry. 

“It isn’t that the choreographies are hard. They’re just complicated with lots more factors and props and back-up dancers to take into account.” 

“So it _is_ hard,” Jongdae cleared up. 

Yixing shrugged. 

“You guys were the ones that thought up the circus concept,” Sehun argued, playfully jostling them. Before he could elbow Baekhyun though, Jongin pulled him away with a chuckle. 

Feeling those warm hands on his arms again, made goosebumps rise all over Baekhyun’s skin. 

“Okay, first, we should talk about the concept,” Yixing began, dragging the whiteboard from the side they usually used to draw out formations with the help of the others. Everyone gathered to listen and Baekhyun ended up getting pressed against Jongin as they all sat down on the floor as Yixing discussed. 

Baekhyun could tell specifically where parts of Jongin touched him, even just slightly – their thighs pressed together with Baekhyun’s legs crossed and Jongin’s were outstretched before him, his back and shoulder slightly leaning into Jongin’s chest. 

Jongin was warm, like any human being should be and Baekhyun had to resist the urge to back up into his own little cocoon of body heat and stay there. 

As if Minseok could hear his thoughts, (actually anyone who glanced at Baekhyun at that time could’ve have seen that he was red in the face and a bit tense,)he cleared his throat pointedly, waking Baekhyun up from his state of gay panic. 

Baekhyun glanced at him and Minseok raised his brow before smirking. 

He replied with a punch to Minseok’s thigh, making the older one yelp, jumping back and bumping into Jongdae who caught and steadied him. 

It was Baekhyun’s turn to smirk now. 

“If the children are done playing, maybe we could continue?” Yixing looked down at them as the others let out amused chuckles. 

The both of them nodded sheepishly and apologized. 

When Yixing had turned back to the board, Minseok sent a glare in Baekhyun’s direction. 

_I’ll get you for that_ . 

Baekhyun merely stuck out his tongue. 

After they had gone through which songs needed choreographies and which ones only needed a few alterations, they set out to work. 

If Baekhyun was distracted from his dancing because Jongin was sitting there watching him before then now he was utterly distracted with the way he danced – all the steps they taught him flew in through one ear and the left through the other. 

Jongin, Sehun and Yixing demonstrated the first choreography and though all three of them were completely brilliant, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Jongin. With the way his expression changed and the way he moved, _especially those hips_ that did every roll, every thrust, so perfectly that Baekhyun flushed a bright red just watching him. 

“I hate myself,” Baekhyun muttered to himself at some point, making Jongdae look at him in confusion. 

“What was that?” His friend asked. 

“Nothing,” Baekhyun hastily said, going back to trying really hard to concentrate. 

After the others had noticed that he was doing worse than he usually did when learning a new dance, Baekhyun had to try twice as hard to listen and remember the moves they showed him. Especially when he realized that Jongin would personally approach him whenever he got a move wrong, adjusting the angle of his arm and his leg if they were even just a bit off. 

It really didn’t help his concentration to feel those warm hands on any part of his body and somewhere deep in his mind, Baekhyun thanked God that he didn’t decide to wear shorts because feeling all those touches skin to skin would literally make him combust. 

It didn’t help that he’d catch Minseok grinning at him from time to time whenever Jongin got to close. 

Baekhyun was seriously starting to regret ever telling Minseok about his little crush. Now it seemed that much more real with someone to witness all of his flustered moments. 

He was so bad that Jongdae had felt the need to apologize on his behalf. 

“Baekhyun’s been feeling pretty off these days,” Jongdae said when Yixing called for a break and they had their fill of water. “I think it’s the stress getting to him.” 

Jongdae’s concern was well-placed and Baekhyun felt grateful for it but he waved off Yixing and Jongin’s concerned questions and looks, not quite willing to admit that Jongdae was wrong. Just so he could have an excuse for his bad form. 

When Baekhyun could finally dance through the new routine without making any (obvious) mistakes, it was already dark and all of them were starving. Yixing, thankfully, called it a day and told them that they’d continue the next day after their schedules. 

Before he allowed them to leave, though, he finally mentioned what he had meant about their solo stages being choreographed by different dancers. 

Baekhyun thought back to his song in the album, wondering what type of choreography would fit it. 

“Jongin, Sehun and I are in charge of your solo stages and we decided that working on it individually could be a good idea,” Yixing said as they went around the room, cleaning and picking up their things. The other dancers had decided to use another practice room for themselves for the time being so only the six of them were left in the room. 

Baekhyun nodded absentmindedly, lost in his thoughts. 

“Sehun’s agreed to work with Minseok, Jongin with Baekhyun and me with Jongdae. Is that alright with you guys?” 

Jongin walked over to Baekhyun and it took him a second to actually process what Yixing had said. Everyone had nodded and agreed to the pairings and were now looking at Baekhyun because he was the only one who hadn’t said anything yet. 

“Do you not want to be paired up with me?” Jongin murmured, peering over at him, a small smile on his face and his brown eyes piercing. 

“No, it’s fine,” Baekhyun breathed out, momentarily dazzled by the look on his face. 

He shook his head to get the effects off of those beautiful eyes, trying to will himself back to normal. 

“Why are you only asking me? Are you guys okay with this arrangement?” Baekhyun asked everyone in the room. Some nodded, others shrugged. 

“It’s for work,” Minseok pointed out. “We’ll find a way to make things work.” 

“Actually the only reason we’re ending early tonight,” Yixing began saying. 

It was 8pm, Baekhyun thought. It wasn’t really _that_ early but early enough for their standards. 

“ – because I thought you guys might want to get to know each other first so practicing alone together will be comfortable and less awkward. I dunno get dinner or something, take a walk in the park – whatever you guys want to do.” 

Baekhyun brows pulled together in confusion. Yixing didn’t need to make them go out of their way to get along with their respective choreographers; they’d find a way to deal with it if it was for their work. 

Minseok and Jongdae looked equally confused. The three of them exchanged looks and Baekhyun shrugged. 

“Sounds fun. I _would_ be relatively easier to work with people we already know,” Baekhyun nodded. “Though, Jongdae has it easy. You and and Xing are already close.” 

“You guys want to switch?” Minseok asked Baekhyun directly, his eyes glinting with mischief. 

Baekhyun tried not to glare at his friend too openly. 

“Nah, I’m fine with Jongin.” 

Jongin beamed happily from beside him. 

“Then I guess it’s settled,” Jongdae smiled warmly, not noticing the silent argument going on between Baekhyun and Minseok. 

Sehun made a humming sound, making Minseok who stood beside him look up at him. 

“What do you want to do?” Sehun asked Minseok, looking at him with ease on every part of his body as if he was already comfortable with hanging out with Minseok. 

That question made everyone focus on their partners, each asking the other what they wanted to do as a ‘bonding’ experience. 

Jongin turned to him and Baekhyun braced himself before looking straight into his eyes again, feeling steady but there was a familiar roiling in his stomach. 

“What do you usually do after practice?” Jongin asked him, playing with the water bottle, tossing it between his hands. 

Baekhyun considered, pursing his lips and looking away. He would usually spend an hour working out when not all of his energy was used up dancing like tonight with the early end but he flushed. 

Seeing Jongin workout beside him, those biceps and thighs bunching up with exertion, hearing him grunting while he lifted weights would definitely _not_ be good for Baekhyun’s health. 

He crossed that option out. 

So he went for something safe. 

“We could grab dinner. I’m feeling famished,” Baekhyun suggested innocently. 

Jongin seemed to agree with that idea, thank God. 

When they had all changed out of their sweaty clothes into new, fresh clothes they all set out of the practice room together turning off all the lights as they went, bathing the room in darkness. 

Tingles spread all over Baekhyun’s skin when he felt Jongin behind him as they walked out. 

Yixing and Jongdae were the first ones to break off from the group. Yixing wanted to check up on the other dancers and after that, he and Jongdae would spend the rest of the night at the studio to work and bond over music. 

“What about your dinner?” Minseok had asked a bit worriedly. 

Baekhyu had briefly wondered if he was worried about Jongdae not eating. 

“We’ll order take-out,” Jongdae reassured him with a smile. 

_Why_ weren’t they together yet? 

Minseok and Sehun walked on ahead after bidding goodbye to both, Jongin stayed behind to ask Yixing something. 

“Is it alright if we don’t come in on the mornings of Saturday and Sunday? I was planning on just teaching him the dance at my studio,” Baekhyun heard Jongin say. 

That was the weekend before CBX had their official comeback which meant the week after that would be filled with music show pre-recordings and fanmeets and practicing for the concert would be scarce. 

Yixing didn’t seem to mind as he nodded before waving goodbye and he and Jongdae went down the hall to the left. 

Jongin jogged to catch up to Baekhyun. 

“You want us to practice my new dance at your art studio?” Baekhyun asked him confusedly when Jongin caught up and started walking beside him. 

Jongin let out a little laugh. 

“Not at the art studio,” he explained. “I have a small dance studio above it.” 

“But I thought that was your apartment.” 

“It is. A room is dedicated to the dance studio.” 

“Oh.” 

Great, more alone time with him and _at his house_ , no less. 

Baekhyun should have been ecstatic but he couldn’t help but feel worried. This thing between them was going down a dangerous path and Baekhyun wasn’t sure he’d make it out without getting hurt. 

Dinner with him was pleasant. 

He was hoping that Sehun and Minseok would join them but they separated from them as soon as they exited the building, going straight to Sehun’s car after saying goodbye. 

He and Jongin walked aimlessly in the direction of their street for a few minutes while they considered where to eat. 

Baekhyun half-wanted to treat Jongin to an expensive restaurant but they were hardly dressed for it and somehow Baekhyun knew that if he did, Jongin would find a way to repay him in some way. 

They settled for a ramen restaurant close to both their houses. 

They were technically already friends so ‘bonding’ wasn’t really something they needed to do. Still, now that they were alone again, Baekhyun found himself stopping himself from asking one question. 

Why exactly had he been crying that day? 

All night as they savored their dishes, Baekhyun was holding himself back because even though they were already friends, he wasn’t sure they were close enough for him to be warranted to ask that question. 

And he had no idea to go about it that in a way that it wouldn’t sound stalker-ish and without revealing that _he_ was the one that had been leaving the notes and gifts. 

Their topics ranged from professional – the dance they were going to work on, CBX’s comeback, Jongin’s art – to casual things like Baekhyun’s dog or Jongin’s weird habit of not wearing his shoes properly. 

Baekhyun didn’t miss a single thing that happened that night, how they were getting more and more comfortable with each other and each and every one of Jongin’s smile. 

He wondered if Yixing somehow knew of Baekhyun’s feelings for Jongin, because they were only growing more intense with every second he spent with him and now he was supposed to have one-on-one classes with him? 

Baekhyun had a really, really, bad feeling about this. 

But he pushed the lingering feeling away for the rest of the night, trying to enjoy his time with Jongin. 

All the while trying to figure out how to get over him. 

He was the first one home that night, feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. 

It was good that he was alone for the moment because if Jongdae and Minseok saw his expression right now, they’d know there was something was wrong. 

Bad thoughts always found him quicker when he was tired. 

He heaved a deep sigh as he went about cleaning himself up before going to bed, taking a shower and going through his skin care routine. 

He didn’t like looking on the negative side of things whenever he could help it because nothing brought in what you didn’t want to happen like negativity. He was regretting telling Minseok now, not because he kept teasing him; that was alright with Baekhyun. 

It was the sudden expectations growing in Baekhyun’s heart and mind. He wanted Jongin more than ever now and it was harder to ignore with someone else other than him aware of it. Every little thing Jongin did left an impression on Baekhyun and he didn’t want the crushing feeling of tension in every part of his body. 

How he hung on every word Jongin said. As if each syllable unlocked the secrets of the universe. 

How the sound of Jongin’s laugh sent such a surge of butterflies flying wildly in Baekhyun’s stomach, he wanted to double over and clutch it. 

How the way Jongin looked at him made Baekhyun feel as if he wasn’t the only one head over heels. 

Because either way, whether or not Jongin felt the same way, Baekhyun _knew_ his heart was going to be broken. 

Those melancholy thoughts disappeared with the moon as the sun rose over the city, bathing Baekhyun in soft morning light as he woke. 

Drowsily, he stirred, stretching half-heartedly. 

Slowly, the tasks for today trickled into his mind. Pre-recording. Dance practice. Comeback preparations. 

And somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered if he’d be able to see Jongin today. 

He realized that he wouldn’t and after two straight days of seeing him, Baekhyun didn’t know how to feel. The dance practice today didn’t include Yixing, Sehun and Jongin if he remembered correctly. Their solo dance preparations weren’t until the next day. 

Baekhyun let out a relieved breath. 

Today, he’ll sort through his feelings and work on locking them away like Minseok did with his. To be content with being friends and nothing more. 

Optimistically, Baekhyun faced the window he had left open last night and noticed that the sun was lower than he had expected. It was barely sunrise, an early morning glow all around the city. It was earlier than he usually woke up and he was already up and moving toward his desk before he knew what he was doing. 

Quickly he wrote a small, simple good morning, feel good message on a square memo pad and looked around his room for something to give him. 

They didn’t have to leave until a few more hours. If he snuck out quietly enough, no one would even notice he had left and he’d be back before Minseok even woke up. 

Wiggling a sweater over his head, he tip-toed around his room, looking here and there for something. 

Just because he didn’t want to _like_ Jongin the way he did didn’t mean that he had to stop leaving him the notes. 

For a split second he considered giving him a photocard of himself before shaking his head, laughing at himself. But he looked through his box of random polaroids he had taken with the camera Chanyeol had given to him as a gift a few years ago. 

Back then, Baekhyun loved to take photos of just about anything and everything. Chanyeol had scolded him for wasting film but Baekhyun hadn’t cared. 

Picking the one he had taken at the beach with the sun just setting, casting out a majestic orange-purple hue all around, the water reflecting the sky above it. He went with his family for a vacation a little more than a year ago and it had taken Baekhyun a few shots to get the picture, he remembered. 

Practically running out of his room, Baekhyun speedily and silently crossed the kitchen then the living room and reached the shoe racks in record time. 

Praying the others would stay asleep for just 10 more minutes, Baekhyun slipped out. 

Baekhyun had always loved variety shows, he’d watch them on TV when he had the time and being on some of them as a guest was something Baekhyun found that he enjoyed. They were almost always fun and he got to showcase his talents and sense of humor. 

As idols, they got to show a side of them that fans didn’t normally see and he always loved surprising them. 

Today was no different. On their way to the set, he, Jongdae and Minseok promise not to be too formal like usual and just be free and noisy and have as much fun as they can. 

When the shooting started – 

They didn’t hold back. 

Pranks were played, habits were revealed and memories were made. 

All throughout the shooting, at the very back of Baekhyun’s mind, he worried that he might say something incriminating about his newfound sexuality. He even snuck glances at Minseok sometimes, too, worried that he might let something slip. 

He watched himself more so than usual on camera. He had no idea what he could do that might give it away so he watched everything he said and tried not to be as impulsive as he was. 

Thankfully, as per usual, the MCs were smart and avoided the topic of dating; knowing what type of rumors might spread around when one said the slightest wrong thing. 

But he _did_ have a lot of fun and that was all that mattered. 

On their way home, they were tired but happy as they relived the most memorable moments on set, laughing with and at each other. 

He felt light and happy which was a nice reprieve from the heavy thoughts he had last night and he found himself wishing that he was in a world that he could _this_ happy every single moment of his life. Soon, though, being tired from the whirl of activities that afternoon, one by one they fell asleep. 

The drive back to the building was long which was a good thing because that meant they got to rest up before practice which go on late into the night because they had to work on dancing and their vocals during this session. 

Yawning, the three of them trudged up to Chanyeol’s studio. 

Hours and hours later the three of them found themselves gathered around their dining table, having a light and healthy late night snack of chips and beer (Baekhyun passed on the bear and just got some juice from the refridgerator). 

They had already showered and were ready for bed but now they just ended up having a late-night chat. Nights like these reminded Baekhyun that he was lucky to have a job where he received lots of love and he got to receive it with not just co-workers but also friends that were with him thick and thin. 

His mind was so fuzzy from the dim light of the kitchen behind them and the random things they chose to talk about that Baekhyun was almost convinced that he was ready to tell Jongdae about Jongin. 

Minseok never pressured him to have to say anything to Jongdae until he was ready but Baekhyun had a feeling that their leader would be much more comfortable if they had no secrets between them. As much as Baekhyun wanted the same thing he knew that there’d still be one secret that would remain if he confessed his and that would be Minseok’s feelings for Jongdae. 

And there was no way that Baekhyun would ever force Minseok to admit that. 

So, he stuck with his promise to himself of deciding to tell Jongdae after he had sorted everything out with Kim Jongin. He didn’t know if that was the right choice and Baekhyun did want to be able to talk to them about it and ask for advice but that’s what he decided to stick with for now. 

While they talked, Baekhyun kept glancing at his phone. 

Jongin had mentioned that they were going to practice in his own studio and that Baekhyun needn’t bother to go to the company building during the morning, but he didn’t mention what time he had to be there. 

Baekhyun wanted to text him and ask but his stupid mind got itself convinced that if he did he’d end up sounding a bit too eager and desperate. 

So, he was left there to glance at his phone now and again, chanting in his mind, ‘text me, text me, text me.’ 

If the others noticed they didn’t say anything about it. 

An hour later, a bit past midnight, Minseok suggested they all get some sleep because they had an early start tomorrow. Jongdae and Baekhyun didn’t protest. 

“What did you and Sehun do as ‘bonding’ by the way?” Baekhyun asked Minseok, slipping his phone in the pocket of his shorts as they began cleaning up. He put the air quotes on the word, ‘bonding’. 

He knew Yixing meant well but the idea still amused him. 

Jongdae looked at Minseok, curious as well. 

“Well, he insisted that we just follow my usual schedule and that was working out for a few hours,” Minseok said, shrugging. “After that we went out to get a couple of drinks. The kid can hold his alcohol, I’ll give him that.” 

Minseok shook his head as he chuckled at the memory. 

“And you?” Baekhyun directed the question to Jongdae who was collecting the empty chip bags and beer cans in a plastic to be disposed. 

“The usual. Yixing helped me with producing songs in his studio, we talked a lot about music and passions and stuff like that. You know Yixing and his words of wisdom.” 

“What about you Baekhyun? What did you and Jongin end up doing?” Minseok asked him. There was nothing teasing or any suspicion in his voice, only polite curiosity. 

Baekhyun shrugged while pushing the chairs back properly into their place. 

“Just grabbed something to eat and went home right after. We were pretty tired,” Baekhyun simply said. 

And as the clean-up process was finished and Minseok had deemed it neat enough, they all dispersed into their rooms with quiet murmurs of ‘goodnight’. 

Baekhyun flopped unto his bed with a sigh, ready to fall asleep. 

Rolling unto his side, he felt something in his pocket dig into his leg and remembered his phone. 

Fishing it out, he only wanted to glance at it once to check the time but his heart gave a lurch when he saw that he had a text from the familiar bear emoji. 

_See you tomorrow. 8 o’clock sharp. Don’t be late~_

Baekhyun wanted to reply and ask him why he was still awake at this time of night but decide against it. Better to keep things between them as professional as possible during their two meetings. 

He plugged his phone in to be charged as he scrolled through his various social media accounts until he fell asleep. 

8 o’clock, Jongin had said. So, naturally, Baekhyun woke up two hours too early. 

He tried to go back to sleep to at least get another thirty minutes of rest but his body wasn’t having it. Frustrated and huffing at himself, he threw his covers off of himself and settled for making himself an elaborate breakfast to waste the time. 

Five minutes later, he must have made a racket because Minseok suddenly rounded the corner, his eyes narrowed in sleep and suspicion at him. But then he glanced at the pancake batter Baekhyun was mixing in a bowl in his arms and blinked. 

“Are you making that for him?” Minseok asked throatily. “Seems like it screams ‘I love you’ too much, don’t you think?” 

“Fuck off,” Baekhyun grunted. “I was actually making it for the three of us but if you don’t want some, I’m sure Jongdae wouldn’t say no to a couple more on his plate.” 

Minseok had rolled his eyes and offered to help. 

30 minutes later, Jongdae joined them in eating at the table, fresh as morning dew. 

The three ate their pancakes, barely saying anything as they worked on waking up to face the day ahead. 

Even after eating and cleaning up again, Baekhyun still had a little less than an hour to wait but he couldn’t keep still. So, he figured that arriving a bit early wouldn’t hurt so he got dressed, trying to take his time as he did. 

Before he left, he called out to his friends who were in their rooms, probably getting ready for their own practices. 

“I’m off to Jongin’s,” Baekhyun yelled. He got a muffled ‘Bye!’ and ‘’Kay!’ in return from down the hallway. 

With that, Baekhyun made his way over to Jongin’s familiar studio. 

Baekhyun didn’t bring a note with him because he assumed it might look to suspicious if he left it there too early and the both of them hadn’t even noticed who had left it. 

He didn’t know what to expect when he passed by the open window but it surprisingly gave him a warm feeling to see Jongin sitting on a stool and painting again as if he never even stopped. Completely focused on whatever piece he was working on now, he didn’t notice when Baekhyun passed by the window. 

Baekhyun walked up to the front door and gave it an abrupt knock. A few seconds later, Jongin popped up as he opened the door, only a bit surprised to see Baekhyun there. 

“Sorry I’m not your admirer finally here to admit what I’ve been doing,” Baekhyun joked when he saw Jongin’s expression. 

That made Jongin laugh as he moved to the side to let him in. Again, the sounds of his laugh made Baekhyun’s stomach twist into a knot. 

Jongin smiled warmly at Baekhyun, his eyes crinkling at the side. 

“No, you’re not but you might be slightly better. Come in,” he said. 

Baekhyun did as he was told and stepped inside the studio as Jongin left the door open, letting in more sunlight into the already light and airy room. The smell of paint which was already a bit noticeable seemed to hit him when he entered the room, filling all of his senses, both addicting and nauseating. 

He glanced at the painting on the canvas and the way it was now Baekhyun had no idea what it was. 

“I didn’t break your concentration, did I?” Baekhyun asked, a little bit worried that he had. 

Jongin passed him by and gestured for him to follow deeper into the room with a light chuckle and a shake of his head. 

“No. But I did tell you that practice was at 8 o’clock,” Jongin gave Baekhyun a look. 

“Early bird catches the worm, remember?” 

Jongin just scoffed playfully as he turned back to his new masterpiece in the making. 

“Well, I woke up a bit early today, probably excited to see you,” Jongin added, glancing at Baekhyun with a smile. “And I couldn’t go back to sleep so I figured I’d start with my new painting.” 

“Oh,” Baekhyun almost choked as he said the word, feeling flushed at the fact that Jongin couldn’t sleep because he was excited to see him. 

“Same here,” he admitted. 

Jongin gave him a glowing smile over his shoulder, settling himself down on the stool in front of the canvas. 

“You’re half an hour early and I’m currently in ‘painting’ mode’ so is it alright if I continue this for a while?” Jongin asked as Baekhyun walked closer until he stood beside Jongin. 

Sitting on the stool, Jongin was just as tall as Baekhyun and the latter had to hold his breath when their eyes met on the same level, neither having to look up or down. 

Baekhyun nodded hastily and Jongin smiled at him gratifyingly. 

“You can pull up that stool over there,” Jongin indicated another stool set aside beside the wall to his right, “and watch while I paint or you can go and take a look around. I won’t mind either way.” 

As he said that, Baekhyun noticed as Jongin’s attention waned as he started studying his painting again, probably trying to remember how he went about painting before Baekhyun had arrived. 

Baekhyun set his bag of extra clothes and refreshments down on the floor and went to grab the stool by the wall without a second thought. He had only ever watched Jongin paint through the windows and though he was sure there wasn’t anything really different from watching him from up close, he wanted to watch how Jongin did it. 

Soon, thoughts of trying to stay a healthy distance away from Jongin left Baekhyun’s mind. Like always, whenever Baekhyun was anywhere near him, he felt oddly relaxed as if they were in their little world and there wasn’t anyone outside of it that could bother them at all. 

There weren’t words exchanged while they sat there, Jongin painting and Baekhyun just watching from the side. Whenever a car would drive past the studio, Baekhyun would suddenly tense up, worried he’d been caught. 

Caught doing what, he wasn’t sure. 

Watching as Jongin blended colors together was interesting. Baekhyun would try to guess what it would end up looking like when he was done, most of the time he was just a bit off, the colors a bit brighter and prominent than the he had envisioned them. 

The paint being brushed and blended into the canvas was even more fascinating. Each stroke making the image even more defined than it had been a few seconds ago. Something about the picture seemed to tug on Baekhyun’s memory, like it was telling him that it looked familiar. 

More fascinating above else was Jongin as he painted the picture slowly and surely projecting the image in his mind into something others could see. 

Baekhyun _tried_ not to glance at him that much, but the effort was a bit futile. Baekhyun still ended up looking at him more than anything. 

The way he bit the inside of his cheek and tilted his head to the side as he studied his work carefully. The way his eyebrows lifted and scrunched while he concentrated on what he was doing. The way those gentle hands of his held the paintbrush and stroked it up and down. 

That last thought made Baekhyun blush bright red. Thankfully, Jongin didn’t take notice. 

He hadn’t even noticed that the thirty minutes were up until Jongin glanced over his canvas, up above where a wall clock was placed. 

Baekhyun had been watching how the sunlight played around Jongin’s dark hair, making it shine a brilliant brown in places and gold in others. 

When he saw Jongin moved, Baekhyun hastily brought his eyes back to the painting. 

Jongin stepped off of his stool with the lithe grace he always seemed to have and smiled when he noticed that Baekhyun was still staring at the painting, only missing the fact that Baekhyun had been staring at _him_ by a few seconds. 

“What do you see?” Jongin asked him. 

Baekhyun looked at him before glancing back to the painting. 

“Uhhhhh,” Baekhyun drew the syllable out as he thought about it. Meanwhile Jongin walked over to his desk to grab something. 

“It’s a sunset, isn’t it?” Baekhyun said when it finally dawned on him that the beautifully blended colors of purple orange and white was the sky, mutely reflected on the lower half. 

“It’s this,” Jongin handed him something and Baekhyun’s heart stuttered. 

That’s right, Baekhyun thought as he glanced at the Polaroid he had given him just yesterday. For a split second he imagined himself finally telling Jongin that it was him. That accidentally, unintentionally, he had become his muse. 

Forcing his face to look neutral, he looked up from the Polaroid to study the painting, pretending to try to see the similarity between the two images even though both would scream they were identical with just a few more details added with a few more brushstrokes from a brilliant artist. 

“Was this another one of your admirer’s gifts?” Baekhyun asked, a smile playing around the edges of his lips, glancing at the lone bear on the desk, the flowers probably already wilted. 

Jongin nodded, the same soft smile he had on when Baekhyun had stumbled upon him discovering the cookies on his doorstep on his face. 

“Yeah, she left it taped to the door outside.” 

Jongin reached out a hand as Baekhyun gave it back, but the exchange paused when Baekhyun’s hand stopped. 

“She?” Baekhyun looked at Jongin confusedly. “You know it’s a girl?” 

Jongin reached for his hand halfway and took the Polaroid from him gently. 

“Well, I assume it’s a girl. The writing is small and messy,” Jongin shrugged. “I don’t see any of my guy friends doing this for me and trust me, I’ve asked.” 

Baekhyun didn’t know if he should’ve felt insulted that his handwriting was like a girls’ or pleased that he was now out of the woods, Jongin couldn’t possibly ever tie it back to him. 

“Probably one of the many people head over heels over you,” Baekhyun teased as he hopped off of his stool. He took it in his hands to put it back in its place but Jongin was already there, taking it out of his hands. 

Baekhyun was left there to just pick his bag up from the floor. 

“I hope not,” Jongin smiled humorlessly. “I don’t really want to disappoint her, whoever she is.” 

“Why would you ever disappoint her?” Baekhyun asked the question before he considered what Jongin had said. 

Oh. 

_Oh._

He already had someone else. The realization left Baekhyun feeling confused, as if he had been left out of a very important notice and all this time he had been doing the wrong thing. He kept the devastation he felt deep in his heart tucked away from his expression. 

“Well,” Jongin began slowly, hesitating to share the information he no doubt was wondering Baekhyun needed to know. 

Baekhyun, in the split second that it took Jongin to continue, tried to think up of ways to stop him from confirming what he already considered to be true. 

“I wouldn’t know how to tell her that girls aren’t exactly my…type.” 

It was like being in a roller coaster ride he didn’t even want to be on, first he was plunging heart-first down, down, down into disappointment but now he was on his way up again after that terrible drop, hope blooming like a bubble in his chest. 

“Ah,” Baekhyun nodded understandingly. “When did you know? That you preferred guys over girls?” 

Baekhyun tried for a comforting smile to make Jongin know that he didn’t judge him, not even the slightest. 

Jongin leaned heavily on the stool he had put aside, facing Baekhyun. 

“Huh,” he looked up, trying to remember when exactly. “Early highschool, before I met Sehun. It was why I had given him cream bread everyday despite saying he hated me.” 

Jongin smiled faintly at the memory. 

Again, the coaster ride Baekhyun’s heart rode took another deep plunge. 

“So, you and Sehun?” 

Of course, hadn’t it been obvious from the first night that Baekhyun had seen them? They had been inseparable. 

“No,” Jongin snorted before wrinkling his nose. “When we became close friends I realized that he was _definitely_ not my type. The boy’s a total prick.” 

“Don’t tell him I said that,” Jongin hastily added, grinning wildly. 

The coaster went up and Baekhyun let out a relieved breath. 

“Come on, I better start teaching you the dance. We better make good use of our three hours.” 

Jongin led him up the stairs. The walls he passed had paintings leaning on the walls, half-covered with white sheets. 

“Why did you ask if I was together with Sehun? Do we look like we’re together?” The look on Jongin’s face made Baekhyun think that the idea seemed to mildly disgust him. 

Baekhyun let out a laugh, now feeling like he could laugh for days in relief at the fact that Jongin was single and interested in boys. 

Not that he hadn’t imagined and hoped every single day after they had met. 

“No. Just curious,” Baekhyun merely said. 

Jongin let out a satisfied. 

The second floor opened up to an open studio type apartment, without any walls to the left. The kitchen and the couch making up the living room could be seen out in the open and Baekhyun guessed that around the corner was a door to the bathroom and the bed. 

To the right was a door that most likely led to the dance studio. 

“You can go on ahead,” Jongin jerked his head in the direction of the door Baekhyun had noticed. “I’ll just go get changed.” 

He ran a hand down his white shirt covered in splatters of paint here and there. 

Baekhyun nodded absentmindedly and headed straight toward the studio, trying his hardest _not_ to think about Jongin changing practically just in the other room. 

5 minutes later Baekhyun realized that he needn’t imagine when Jongin came in wearing a tank top and track pants. The muscle tank was loose and Baekhyun suddenly understood the meaning of the term because it left Jongin’s beautifully toned arms out for Baekhyun to admire. 

Inwardly groaning from where he sat waiting on the floor, playing with his phone while he waited, Baekhyun stood up slowly. 

Jongin clapped his hands once, a big smile on his face. 

“Ready?” 

Not even remotely close. 

An hour into the new routine, Baekhyun might’ve gotten used to Jongin’s biceps had he not started sweating and taking it upon himself to personally correct angles in which Baekhyun held his poses. 

The whole time Baekhyun was split between focusing hard on the dance and forcing himself not to suddenly reach out and run his hands down Jongin’s annoyingly exposed arms. 

“Move this a little bit to the side.” 

A sudden grip on his thigh, pulling it slightly open to the left to follow him. 

“Don’t bend too much.” 

Warm hands on his waist. 

Baekhyun was usually a touchy person and he usually didn’t mind being touched and moved physically when dance classes but Jongin it was different. 

Every single touch burned Baekhyun and he held in the urge to yelp and jump away every time Jongin’s hands landed on any part of his body – be it his arm or his shoulder or wherever it might be. 

It took an insurmountable amount of effort for Baekhyun to process and memorize the moves to the dance with Jongin there watching his every move. 

During their water break, Jongin walked over to the speakers and Baekhyun moved to get his water bottle, on the other side of the room. 

Baekhyun was focusing so much at the task at hand, which primarily was to calm himself down and kill all emotions so he could avoid his heart racing every time they so much as had eye contact through the mirrors that surrounded them, that he hadn’t noticed that Jongin had changed the song. 

It was part of CBX’s album, a ballad Jongdae had helped write the lyrics of. Baekhyun loved ballads and this song was no exception. 

Through the mirrors, Baekhyun glanced in front of him to see that Jongin had moved back to the middle, swaying slightly with the music. 

Enamored, Baekhyun continued silently watching his reflection. 

Jongin spun around to look at him so fast that Baekhyun didn’t have a chance to look away. He didn’t give him time to feel flustered, though because he was suddenly beckoning him forward. 

“Come here for a sec,” Jongin said, offering his outstretched arm. 

“I thought we were on a break,” Baekhyun pretended to frown happily. Jongin only laughed at his expression and urged him forward. 

“This will only take a second.” 

Baekhyun stomped theatrically and moved toward him, expecting to be taught another move to see how it would look with the dance routine. 

He didn’t expect him to suddenly pull him closer and bring them face to face. 

“Are you choreographing this song as well?” Baekhyun managed to breathe out, having to crane his head up a bit to meet Jongin’s eyes. His heart was pounding so loudly in his chest that he was afraid that Jongin would hear even with the music playing all around them. 

“No. I just wanted to try something,” Jongin said equally as softly. “This song reminds me of a song I danced back in college I just want to see if I remember the routine.” 

“You did it with a partner?” 

Baekhyun was suddenly breathless when Jongin ran a hand down his arm, lifting it gently before grasping his wrists. 

“Yeah,” Jongin nodded. “The concept was that I had to control every movement of my partner with my own. She was girl and she was pretty flexible so the assignment was quite easy.” 

With a hand on Baekhyun’s waist, he twisted him into a twirl. 

When Baekhyun faced Jongin again, Jongin noticed that he had a frown on his face. 

“Does the idea bother you?” Jongin let out breathy laugh. 

“I think what bothers me right now is that I get to be the replacement for the girl, to be honest,” Baekhyun let out a huff. 

Jongin stepped away and burst out laughing. 

“Well, you are smaller than me,” Jongin pointed out and Baekhyun had to pout. 

“So? It’s not like I have the physique of a girl. I can be manly, too.” 

Baekhyun stood straight, puffing his chest out with a little laugh, earning him another laugh. 

“I actually have to agree with that. Your shoulders are broad and you’ve got a thin waist. Beautiful body proportions,” Jongin nodded sagely, playfully narrowing his eyes as he scrutinized Baekhyun. 

“But all hidden beneath big shirts and bulky jackets,” he added a bit sullenly. 

“Exactly. How would you know I have a thin waist?” Baekhyun challenged. “I haven’t worked out properly in a month.” 

Jongin seemed to redden a bit. 

“I felt it during the times I’ve had to hold or touch your waist,” Jongin mumbled. 

Seeing him blushing made Baekhyun feel flustered as well but a sudden surge of confidence washed over him. 

This time he was the one to step forward, making a face at Jongin. 

“Are you admitting to having felt me up during practice?” Baekhyun smirked. 

“It’s not my fault,” Jongin said defensively. “You move your hips the wrong way sometimes and I just wanted to correct it.” 

“My hips are actually the body part on myself I love the most.” 

“Really? I love your fingers a lot. They’re very pretty.” 

Baekhyun raised it up between them and the both of them glanced at it as Baekhyun stretched his fingers around. Jongin raised his own hand to hold Baekhyun’s in it, engulfing it a bit in the warmth he seemed to exude in every part of his body. 

“What about me?” Jongin asked. 

Baekhyun looked up to find Jongin’s eyes intently set on his and once again he’s under he’s spell. 

“What about you?” 

“Which body parts of mine do you like the most?” 

The horndog somewhere deep into the reserves of Baekhyun’s mind complained, saying that he hadn’t even seen the _important_ part. Thankfully, Baekhyun had _that_ part of his mind under control. 

Baekhyun didn’t even have to think about it when he answered. 

“Your eyes, definitely. Your lips are second.” 

Jongin pursed his lips consciously, making Baekhyun glance down at them almost impulsively. 

Jongin, seeing the small glance smiled shyly. 

And Baekhyun thought for a hot second that Jongin was about to lean in and kiss him. In fact, his mind even conjured it up in the half-second he saw Jongin moving. 

He imagined those warm, big hands resting gently on his cheeks, stroking them softly as he leaned in softly, his breath fanning across Baekhyun’s face before he pressed those luscious and plump lips against his. 

But he had actually been moving away. 

And Baekhyun didn’t know if he was relieved or disappointed. 

It took him a moment to realize why he was staring at the floor – why his stomach felt uneasy, why he suddenly felt like crying, why he suddenly wanted to run from the room. 

The sting of rejection was sharp as it washed over every pore of his body, instinctive and strong. 

The rollercoaster he was on didn’t seem to be functioning properly anymore. 

“I like your lips, too,” Jongin said, walking over to the sound systems again, leaving Baekhyun dazed and disoriented in the middle of the room. 

Baekhyun could only grunt, trying to push the imprint of his imagined kiss out of his mind. 

The last two hours passed by without anymore almost kisses and stares filled with tension that could probably be tasted in the air but the soft touches continued. 

Baekhyun figured Jongin was just doing his job and tried to rein his wild imaginations in the whole time. 

Jongin had led him to the bathroom to change into fresh clothes after their session and Baekhyun glimpsed at his bedroom. Mostly bare but the huge bed in the middle seemed comfortable and after that grueling dance practice Baekhyun wanted to run over to it and flop unto his stomach and just close his eyes. 

He figured that Jongin might not have appreciated that so Baekhyun continued on to the bathroom and changed as fast as humanly possible, wanting to leave and wash away the feeling that he wasn’t wanted. 

He wasn’t even sure why it bothered it so much. 

Wasn’t that what he wanted to happen anyway? To have things between them strictly professional and totally free of whatever Baekhyun was feeling roiling in his heart right now and messing with the thoughts in his head. 

Maybe his hopes had been raised when he had confirmed that Jongin could _like_ someone like him, that they were similar in maybe at least that. 

The two of them not ending up kissing was a good thing, Baekhyun was sure of that. 

At least, he tried to convince himself so. 

He had to fight himself internally to not tell Minseok about the almost kiss. He didn’t know how his friend would react and frankly, he didn’t want another thing to be teased with. 

So as they went through their schedules for the day, getting ready for the comeback that was only days away – interviews and photo shoots, Baekhyun kept his mouth dutifully shut. 

Being in all of that comeback hype, Baekhyun decided to take a selfie of himself and post it on his social media sites. If Jongin wouldn’t love him at least he knew that his fans would always be there for him, he thought stubbornly. 

Despite not saying anything about it to Minseok, like the super leader he is with his abnormal sense of awareness for his member’s problems and feelings. 

“How was practice with Jongin?” Minseok asked them as they sat side by side in the waiting room, Jongdae asleep in the couch behind them. 

Minseok’s attempt at sounding casual was acknowledgeable but he sounded too casual. 

“Fine,” Baekhyun said, smiling at him with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes before confirming his post on his phone and dropping it on the table. 

“Nothing special really happened.” 

He wanted to bang his head on the vanity. He didn’t know if he was completely happy that something that would have some very big consequences didn’t happen because every time he thought about it, the only thing his mind ended up focusing on was that he didn’t get to feel those full lips against his own. 

Minseok gave him an expression that told him that he didn’t believe a word he had said. 

“What?” Baekhyun asked defensively. “ _Nothing_ did happen.” 

Minseok seemed to catch on at his tone. 

“And how do you feel about that?” 

“Are you my therapist?” Baekhyun scowled at him. “This isn’t a joke, Min.” 

“No, but I’m your friend and it’s better if you get to talk about these things.” 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and Minseok glared at him for the action. 

“You’re one to talk. It’s not like you talk to me about anything with him,” Baekhyun jerked his head at Jongdae. 

“There’s nothing to say,” he merely said. 

“Same here.” 

Minseok sighed and looked away. 

“There’s nothing to say because he doesn’t feel the same way,” Minseok said softly. ”I don’t think he would ever feel the same way.” 

Baekhyun let an amused snort. 

“Same here,” he repeated. 

The next day, the second and last day of their one on one practices with their choreographers, Baekhyun was running late. 

Waking up 15 minutes 8AM and groggy as hell, Baekhyun reached for his phone and sent Jongin a text about him being late and that they could extend anyway since he didn’t have a schedule until later that afternoon. He trudged over to the shower to freshen up. 

They had gone home late last night because of last minute sound checks and dance practice and he had only got to remove his shirt before flopping down on the bed, exhausted. 

Tomorrow, early in the morning they’d have their first pre-recording at a music show for their comeback on Tuesday and after that they had a press conference. 

After the shower, Baekhyun quickly got dressed, rubbing his hair dry with a towel which reminded him that he had a schedule at the salon today to re-dye his hair to keep the blond hue. He sighed tiredly as he ran a hand down his face. 

He noticed his phone flashing just then, signaling him that there was a message. 

Half-dreading that it was another reminder of another schedule he had forgotten to take into account, he opened his phone. 

Only to smile at the familiar bear emoji waiting there. 

_It’s fine. Let yourself in, I might be a bit busy._

Giving it a bit of thought, he figured that he should bring another note with him and claim that he had found it on his way in. Jongin would be too busy with his painting to notice if anyone had passed by anyway. 

Since the last message was casual and had no cheesy quote or words of wisdom on it, Baekhyun could feel that the messages were beginning to feel too personal. Too _him._

If he continued then he’d surely be caught within the next few notes. 

So, this would be the simplest and the last message. 

In his messy, small scrawl, Baekhyun wrote: 

_You seem to be alright these days. I’m happy to see you smiling again._

They had been given a bouquet yesterday and they had planned on putting it in the vase they kept in the middle of one of the drawers in the hallway where they kept flowers that were given to them until they were wilted. It added a bit of color to their apartment. 

Baekhyun was sure that Minseok wouldn’t mind that much. 

He took that with him and stuck the last sticky note on it feeling a bit sad that the note-giving was short-lived and that he never really had the guts to say that it had been him that had been leaving them. 

Maybe one day when the feelings he had for him were nothing but a memory and it was something he could look back on with fond memories. 

It was symbolic enough of an end that it could convince Baekhyun to move on, too. 

The others were already gone when Baekhyun left, probably on their own schedules or practices but either way they’d end up meeting later in the day anyway so Baekhyun learned not to miss them too much. 

As he walked down the street he imagined that he was bringing the bouquet to Jongin, an offer of a date on his lips but it always ended there, his imagination. So many, so different with the only similarity between them was that he was with Jongin and Jongin liked him the same way. 

Blinking his silly thoughts away, Baekhyun went in the studio without knocking just as he had been told and went straight upstairs. 

He wasn’t sure what he was going to see once he ended up on the second landing, maybe a cute Jongin napping on the couch, hopefully a shirtless Jongin in the middle of changing but not… this. 

He heard the music before he had even set foot on the first step, the strange, almost ominous sound of the playing piano. Baekhyun tip-toed the rest of the steps up the stairs. 

The door to the dance studio was open and the lights were dimmed, the only light coming from the window Baekhyun knew was to the left leaving the room with a beautiful glow. 

A familiar sensual voice started humming from the track and Baekhyun wondered where he had first heard it from. 

Seeing Jongin dance along in time to the voice made him realize that it was _his_ voice. The sound sent shivers down his spine. 

He slipped into the room soundlessly and marveled when Jongin didn’t notice him at all. 

At first, Baekhyun thought that he _had_ when he dropped to his knees but that was apparently a part of the dance. 

He might have seen Baekhyun there through the reflections in the mirror but he didn’t seem to be looking at it at all, completely focused on dancing the routine. His eyes were almost half-closed, feeling the beat course across his body. 

Baekhyun on the other hand had a lot of trouble figuring out where to focus his attention. Jongin’s singing voice in the song he was dancing to, the way he danced probably the most complicated and beautiful dance Baekhyun had ever seen in his life or his facial expressions that put everything together. 

The movements Jongin made were full and perfect and Baekhyun was sure they felt satisfying when done correctly, like stretching out cricks in the muscles. The tight shirt he wore didn’t leave anything to imagination either. 

Seeing him dance – no – _perform_ like this made Baekhyun wonder exactly why Jongin wasn’t on a stage, showing the world what he could do. 

Soon the bass took over the song and Baekhyun was drowning in it – the song, the dance, Kim Jongin himself. 

If he hadn’t been clutching the bouquet so close to his heart, he might have dropped it like he was sure his mouth had dropped while he watched silently from the corner he had retreated to. 

He couldn’t take his eyes off of him. Jongin looked positively radiant as he danced. 

Baekhyun couldn’t explain it properly but it was as if he was being forced to watch something he couldn’t admit to himself that he wanted to. 

Fighting to look away, to stay away, because it was the right thing to do but not really doing anything about it because suddenly he didn’t care if it was wrong, it _felt_ right. 

If that made any sense. 

The song ended and Baekhyun was still staring when Jongin stood up straight from his last pose, breathing heavily. He turned around to probably stop the music that had begun playing again when he noticed Baekhyun there. 

“Shit,” Jongin tensed up, eyes wide in surprise when their eyes met. 

Baekhyun managed to smile sheepishly. In all honesty, he felt ravaged by seeing Jongin dance like that. 

How could he convince himself not to fall in love now that he had seen that? 

“You scared me. I didn’t even notice you come in,” Jongin smiled at him after getting over his initial shock. His gaze travelled from Baekhyun’s face to the bouquet in his hands. 

“Oh,” Baekhyun thrust in his direction, trying to look totally neutral. “I picked this up from the doorstep on my way in. I guess your admirer left it for you before I arrived.” 

Jongin took it with a smile before reading the note. 

Baekhyun wondered if Jongin would realize that it was the last note he was ever going to give him. 

The same soft smile flashed across his face before he glanced up at Baekhyun again. 

“Thank you.” 

For a moment, Baekhyun thought Jongin had been thanking him because he had figured it all out but then he must’ve been thanking him for bringing them up for him. 

“You’re welcome.” 

“What were you dancing earlier?” Baekhyun found himself asking, unable to keep the curiosity at bay. “And was that your voice singing?” 

“What were you doing watching me so silently and creepily?” Jongin laughed. “Seriously. I didn’t even _see_ you.” 

“That’s because you were so focused, dumbass. I wasn’t going to break your concentration a second time.” 

Jongin chuckled, setting the flowers and the note down on a chair on the side before taking a seat beside it and using a face towel to wipe off the sweat that had started dripping down his forehead to his chin. 

Baekhyun took a moment to admire him there, breathing heavily and sweating and had to actively stop his thoughts from flying into danger zone. 

“It was my last requirement for college. I took a minor in modern dancing and that was my routine,” Jongin explained. 

Baekhyun nodded absentmindedly, still trying to get his mind out of the gutter. 

“Is it alright with you if I took a quick shower?” Jongin smiled apologetically at him, standing up and grabbing the flowers from the seat beside him. “You can recall the steps we learned yesterday while I go.” 

Great. More images Baekhyun didn’t really need right now. Jongin in the shower, running his hand through his _obviously_ fit body. 

Baekhyunn coughed. 

“You’d get sweaty because of practice anyway?” Baekhyun pointed out. 

He didn’t expect Jongin to pull out one of the cutest pouts he had ever seen in his entire life, his heart stuttering over a beat at the sight. 

“Come on,” Jongin whined. “It’ll just take 10 minutes.” 

Before he could pull out the puppy eyes, Baekhyun conceded. He hadn’t even been stopping him from taking his damn shower, he was just wondering why Jongin felt the need to shower when they were going get all sweaty anyway. 

Not in the way Baekhyun preferred they would, though. 

Baekhyun sighed at himself. 

Man, he was so whipped. 

It was actually a very very brilliant idea for Jongin to have taken a shower because the next steps to Baekhyun’s solo stage were so complicated that he messed almost every part up (definitely not because he was distracted with sorting out his feelings). 

Jongin seemed to notice that he was having a hard time because stood closer than he usually did and Baekhyun would’ve certainly lost his mind if he had been in the state he was before he had taken a shower. 

“The feet here,” Jongin said as he got into position. “Are supposed to twist in like this.” 

He demonstrated and Baekhyun didn’t even try to attempt doing it before looking at Jongin in disbelief. 

Jongin looked back at him, laughing. 

“What?” Jongin laughed at Baekhyun struggling as he glared at him. 

“Are you _trying_ to kill me?” Baekhyun made a face at him. He was tired, more than he was letting on. He didn’t get enough sleep and he didn’t even eat breakfast before leaving the apartment. He had been too preoccupied with the bouquet that he forgot to grab a bite to eat. 

He felt famished and he was pretty sure his thighs were shaking with exhaustion. 

They had been going at it for more than an hour, Baekhyun not asking for a break because he wanted to feel that heavy tiredness wash over him because it was better than having his heart race with every movement Jongin made. 

He regretted that now, though. 

Still, he didn’t ask for that break. 

He was starting to think he was masochistic. 

Jongin stood up and came over closer to Baekhyun to help. 

If there was one thing that Baekhyun appreciated from Jongin (other than everything else of course,) was his unending patience with him. 

Baekhyun was better than this, he knew. 

He could memorize the dance better and move better without Jongin there. With Jongin watching his every move, he was stiff and too conscious of himself to do his best. 

He hated it. He hated that he acted like a high school student in love whenever they were together. 

Now, Jongin had his hands on Baekhyun’s waist again and Baekhyun had learned not to want to jump away whenever he did it. The shape of his hands was getting dangerously familiar and Baekhyun didn’t know if he loved it or he hated it. 

He was sure that if he closed his eyes, imagining Jongin with his arms around his waist and his chin propped up on his shoulder would be easier than breathing at this point. 

“That’s right,” Jongin murmured as he nudged Baekhyun’s thigh and Baekhyun sighed in relief when the weight he had put on one leg shifted on to the other in a more balanced position. 

“Okay, next step?” Jongin gently urged him, stepping backwards a bit to watch as Baekhyun moved from this position to the next. 

Both of them hadn’t anticipated the dizziness Baekhyun would feel after the turn and how his feet would tangle up, half-way through the move, he could feel that he was tilting over. 

_Oh? Is this supposed to happen?_ He thought to himself, a split-second before he fell to the side. 

Jongin, of course, reached out to catch him but only ended up falling with him instead. With a crash that he barely felt, the two of them were on the ground. It seemed falling was even more tiring than staying upright; because now Baekhyun’s body ached more than ever. 

His legs that were finally untangled lay between Jongin’s, his hands on either side to hold himself up and off of Jongin, which brought Baekhyun face to face with his broad chest. 

From underneath him, Jongin began to shake. 

Baekhyun looked up from the bangs that had fallen into his eyes to see Jongin laughing, the sound of it filling the practice room and all at once it was as if the room was brightening up even more, the edges of Baekhyun’s sight seemed to blur all around Jongin and clearing Baekhyun’s thoughts of everything except one. 

That he really wanted to kiss Jongin right now. 

Jongin had thrown his head back as he laughed heartily and Baekhyun was frozen there, in shock or because he was too tired to move he didn’t know but he stayed there staring at Jongin until he finally caught his breath and stopped laughing. 

Soon, those warm brown eyes were on his, alight with amusement and Baekhyun couldn’t look away. 

“Are you – “ 

Without thinking about it, without even worrying about what might come next, Baekhyun leaned forward and kissed those lips he had been stealing glances at since the night they had met. Thank God, Baekhyun always licked his lips, so they weren’t dry at all when he pressed his lips against Jongin’s. 

A small sound of surprise erupted from the back of Jongin’s throat and it made Baekhyun want to kiss him more, kiss him deeper to see what other sounds he would make. The kiss was simple and might’ve bordered on awkward with their straining position. 

But suddenly, tentatively, one of Jongin’s hands travelled up the side of Baekhyun’s cheek and tangled itself in his hair and he began kissing him back. Baekhyun’s hand went to Jongin’s shoulder, gripping it as the kiss deepened. He couldn’t hear anything but the sound of their kissing and the breaths they took in between. 

He tasted – well, Baekhyun didn’t know what he tasted like but he tasted delicious. Baekhyun couldn’t get enough. 

His heart threatened to break through his ribs with the force of its pounding. He was pretty sure he was shaking so much that Jongin had to put a comforting hand on his waist, squeezing it. 

Despite the completely foreign feeling, if felt completely right for Baekhyun to be there in Jongin’s arms, kissing him as if there was no tomorrow – as if he could stay there and forget who he was in the Jongin moaned when Baekhyun nibbled his bottom lip. 

But the sound jolted something in Baekhyun, reminding him _exactly_ of who he was and why this was wrong. 

Jumping back, he landed on his butt, his hands supporting his body as he leaned backward, his mouth open in shock at what they had done, what _he_ had done. 

“I – I’m so,” Baekhyun stuttered, scrambling up to his feet. 

Jongin’s eyes were still fluttering open, dazed, when Baekhyun ran out of the room, leaving his bag, his hat and his heart back inside. 

“Baekhyun? _Baekhyun, wait!_ ” Jongin shouted, the sound of him scrambling up on to his own feet only fueled Baekhyun’s need to get out of there fast. 

He couldn’t face what he had just done, couldn’t look at Jongin without having to admit everything he wasn’t ready to admit. __

Shit. 

_Damn it._

_Shit._

He took the stairs down three at a time, not caring if he fell and broke his neck that would be better than all of this. 

Jongin bounded down after him and a surge of adrenaline filled Baekhyun’s blood, making him want to run away, away, away. Finally, Baekhyu reached the door that would lead him outside. The sun was higher up now and it bathed the studio in a beautiful light, shining on each and every one of Jongin’s paintings. 

“ _Please wait. I’m sorry_ ,” Jongin exclaimed just as Baekhyun was about to throw the door open. 

The words ‘I’m sorry’ echoed through Baekhyun’s head, stopping him dead where he was. He whirled around to see Jongin at the bottom of the stairs, panting and his face scrunched up in devastation. 

The look on his face crushed Baekhyun. 

“Why are you the one sorry?” Baekhyun demanded confusedly. “I’m the one that kissed _you_.” 

Jongin nodded as if he knew that. 

“Yes. But I’m sorry that I,” Jongin paused, looking at him but playing with his hands nervously. “– I kissed you back so quickly. I get that you were probably just curious that you necessarily didn’t want me and that I overstepped my boundaries and –.” 

He trailed to a stop when he saw Baekhyun raised a hand. 

“Wait. Wait. Wait,” Baekhyun said, stepping away from the door and closer to Jongin again to make sure he heard right. When Jongin saw that he was moving away from the door, he let out a relieved breath. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I know that you only kissed me because you were curious about how – how it would feel like with a guy. I understand that that kiss was nothing more than that.” 

Baekhyun was so confused but the heart he thought he had forgotten in Jongin’s hands when he ran from that room found its way back to his chest and now it sank to his stomach. 

“You think I kissed you because I was curious as to how kissing a guy would feel like?” 

The words felt stupid in his mouth. He couldn’t believe that Jongin would even think so low of himself. That he was something to be…experimented on. 

And then Baekhyun was sad for him and he forgot all about his own dilemma and embarrassment. He could deal with those later if he could just take that expression out of Jongin’s face. 

“Why else would you ever kiss me?” Jongin said softly, finally looking away. “I – Well, I suspected that you were gay but, you know idols, you never really get to do things that you want to do and then you found out that _I_ was gay and you – you figured it would be alright to try it with me first, to make sure. You know, just so knew that you weren’t just confused.” 

Baekhyun started walking back to him slowly as he continued talking, amused and disheartened at the narrative Jongin had chosen to write for himself. 

Did Jongin really think that Baekhyu thought so little of him? 

“I’m sorry that I kissed you back so eagerly. That must’ve scared you,” Jongin ran a hand through his hair and stopped short when he noticed that Baekhyun was just in front of him now. He exhaled. 

“I’ve liked you, more than the way people could like their idols, since I figured out that I could,” Jongin chuckled humorlessly. 

“Jongin,” Baekhyun said, reaching up and touching his cheek to make him look at him. It was burning with embarrassment or because of what they had done or exertion from running, Baekhyun didn’t know but the color was pretty on his tan skin. 

Jongin looked at him but his pupils wavered nervously. 

“Jongin,” Baekhyun repeated. “You’re the only reason I’m confused.”\ 

He smiled a little at the confusion on Jongin’s face. 

“You’re the only guy I’ve ever wanted to kiss so bad. The only one whose touch made me feel as if I were on fire. The only one who could convince me I was truly gay,” Baekhyun’s words took an amused turn and soon he was grinning at Jongin, all feeling of wanting to run away gone. 

“You’re not just some guy I wanted to test these feelings on, Jongin.” 

His hands went to Jongin’s shoulders and circled around the back of his neck as Jongin studied him, trying to see if he was just lying to spare his feelings because he couldn’t seem to believe that Baekhyun could ever reciprocate his feelings. 

Their eyes met and Jongin’s softened as Baekhyun smiled again, shakily. 

Inside, two sides of Baekhyun warred. One that fought for him to get away, to stay away because there might be someone who might see and if word got out, it would destroy his career for sure. The other couldn’t care less because he had never felt happiness like he did being in Jongin’s arms. 

It doesn’t take much to realize which side won over. 

“So,” Jongin paused, wrapping his arms behind Baekhyun, resting it on the small of his back. 

“You like me too?” 

Baekhyun let out a breathy laugh. 

“I actually think I like you more than you like me.” 

Jongin shook his head, his bangs following the movement, before leaning forward and glancing at Baekhyun’s lips as if he might kiss them again. Baekhyun wished he would, his heart rate spiking up again. 

“Impossible,” Jongin breathed on to his lips before finally bringing his face closer to Baekhyun’s for another kiss. 

For the rest of the day, Baekhyun was in a daze, unsure of what exactly had happened between the two of them. 

Are they together now? Are they dating? Did Baekhyun have to tell Minseok and Jongdae? How was he going to admit it to his fans? 

All day, the moment he stepped out of Jongin’s house after he had been force-fed breakfast and an onslaught of kisses and giggles until Baekhyun was sure that Jongin’s lips had become his lifeline, Baekhyun had thought of nothing else than Jongin and him. 

Together. 

Sometimes, Minseok would catch him smiling at himself like an idiot but Baekhyun would be quick to look away and school his features in a more professional look. Minseok would chuckle and shake his head as if he already knew what exactly had been running through Baekhyun’s mind. 

To be honest, he wanted to run to him and tell him all about it but they were always surrounded by other people as they went through the day’s schedules and so Baekhyun had to hold himself back. 

There was also Jongdae to handle. He didn’t know how to approach the topic with him, though Baekhyun knew that Jongdae would never hold his sexuality against him, he was still scared to just suddenly drop the news on him. 

_Hey Jongdae, how have you been? Also, by the way, I’m gay and I think I’m probably, kinda, most likely dating that painter, our dance-instructor, aka Kim Jongin._

Baekhyun scrunched up his nose. 

Definitely not. 

“What is up with you?” Jongdae laughed from beside him. “You keep frowning, scrunching your nose and shaking your head. Does something smell bad?” 

Baekhyun chuckled awkwardly, looking around for Minseok who had disappeared to somewhere. 

“Nothing. Just thinking about something,” he answered automatically. 

Jongdae considered him, looking him up and down. 

“You look a lot happier today than yesterday, though. Did something good happen?” 

Baekhyun scrounged around in his head for an excuse, not really sure why he can’t just tell him about Jongin. 

“Ah yeah, Mongryong is feeling a lot better these days, Dad says,” he lied. 

And then he spent the next 30 minutes trying to explain to Jongdae a disease his perfectly healthy dog never had. 

The day went by quickly and through it he received a couple of texts from Jongin. The fact that he took the time to text was painfully sweet, Baekhyun wanted to throw his phone at the wall every time that bear emoji appeared, blushing madly. 

Simple things like, 

_Don’t overwork yourself. Eat something so you don’t collapse like earlier~_

_Have you eaten lunch yet? I ate with Sehun. He says my lips are a bit swollen_ _L_ _That’s all your fault, by the way._

_Can I call you later after work?_

He laid his head on his arms on the vanity table in the waiting room after replying to the last message, trying to calm his racing heart. 

‘ _Sure, if you want to,_ ’ he texted back. 

Why was he so affected by this? 

He had been with girls before. He’d felt flustered with them, yeah sometimes. But it was like Jongin was a whole other story. 

That was how Minseok found him, half-asleep with his head resting on his arms, tired because of everything that happened that day. 

“You alright?” Minseok asked him as he stood up hastily. 

“Yeah, never better,” he smiled but then the smile grew into a grin because he realized he was more than alright. 

Minseok looked surprised at the sudden happiness in Baekhyun’s face then he whispered in a low voice to make sure that no one around them could hear, 

“Did something happen between you two? You came in incredibly red this morning; I thought you were having a heat stroke.” 

Baekhyun blushed but nodded. Minseok didn’t ask for more details before breaking into smile similar to Baekhyun sincerely. 

“I’m happy for you, Baekhyun,” Minseok patted his shoulder. 

“Thank you but,” Baekhyun trailed off. “What about, you know, the press and the fans and other things.” 

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Just try to keep – whatever’s going on,” Minseok gestured with a hand. “On the down low for now, ‘kay?” 

Minseok smiled at him reassuringly and Baekhyun exhaled. 

“Okay.” 

That night after getting a call from Jongin and asking for permission from his manager, he went out, saying he was just going out with a friend. 

“Let me take you out on a date tonight,” Jongin had said through the phone as soon as they had gone through the, ‘hi’s and ‘how are you?’s. 

“Huh?” Baekhyun had replied, dumbstruck. 

“I want to take you out on a date tonight,” Baekhyun could practically see the teasing smile on Jongin’s handsome face. 

“Unless, of course, you don’t want to. That’s also okay,” Jongin suddenly added, a bit shyly now. They were still feeling each other out, not really sure what the other was comfortable with in terms of dates and touches and relationhship things. 

(Though, Jongin seemed to have no aversion to being kissed and the same goes for Baekhyun.) 

“No, no,” Baekhyun quickly said. “I’ll clear it out with my schedule manager and we’ll see what we can do. I’m pretty sure I can squeeze in ‘date with my gorgeous boyfriend’ somewhere in there.” 

Baekhyun had tried to keep his tone casual but honestly he was having a mental breakdown as he put the term ‘boyfriend’ out there. He figured it would be easier for them to communicate if the label between them was crystal clear. 

“Boyfriends?” Jongin asked amusedly. “Is that what we are?” 

“Well, lovers sounded a bit tacky,” Baekhyun joked. “You don’t want me to sing it for you, do you?” 

“Boyfriend sounds fine to me, then,” Jongin chuckled. “And yes, I’ll be expecting you to sing your lines later for me.” 

Baekhyun groaned as Jongin let out a laugh. 

“See you later, boyfriend.” 

And they had ended the call right there. 

Now, Baekhyun stood in front of Jongin’s house again, thinking about how differently he would’ve felt right at this moment if he had run away earlier that morning. 

After they had gone home for the night and their managers had insisted they rested, Baekhyun had asked if he could hang out with a friend for tonight. 

The manager had nodded and made Baekhyun promise to be home early tomorrow morning for a music show pre-recording, he didn’t want to have to hunt him down. 

Baekhyun hadn’t even said anything about staying the night but he nodded anyway as he tried not to let the thoughts of spending the night _alone_ with Jongin fill his head. 

He bid his goodbyes to Minseok and Jongdae. Jongdae nodding and telling him to keep safe and be careful and Minseok wishing him luck. 

“Why would he need luck?” Jongdae had asked as Baekhyun was leaving. 

Minseok had shrugged but he threw a wink at Baekhyun. 

“You never know.” 

Planning to surprise him, he rang the doorbell for the first time in his life and waited anxiously at the front steps, rocking backward and forward on the balls of his feet. 

Seconds later, Jongin came opening the door and the smile that Baekhyun was met with was so bright he couldn’t _not_ smile back. 

“Hi,” Baekhyun smiled sheepishly. 

Before he could say another word, Jongin pulled him inside, kicked the door close behind them and kissed him then and there. 

Baekhyun took a sharp inhale as their lips pressed together, wondering when he would ever get used to the feeling of Jongin’s soft lips on his. 

When they broke apart, a bit breathlessly, Baekhyun said. 

“Good idea to pull me in here before kissing me,” Baekhyun nodded, his eyes still closed as he tried to collect his thoughts as his mind whirled. 

Jongin laughed softly, pecking him once again, making Baekhyun clutch on to the sleeves of his jacket so he wouldn’t collapse. 

“Hi,” Jongin said after the short, sweet peck. 

Baekhyun finally opened his eyes to find Jongin staring at him lovingly. 

“Hi,” Baekhyun said again, finally pulling away when he felt that he was no longer in danger of falling face-first on the floor. 

“So, I squeezed in that date you wanted for tonight. Yay,” Baekhyun cheered a bit before chuckling. 

“Yay,” Jongin copied him, laughing delightedly. 

Baekhyun took that time to study him. It looked like he was in the process of keeping his hair was up, other strands still falling forward on his forehead. He was wearing a blue jean button down and it was tucked in snugly in a pair of khaki pants, a brown belt bringing it all together. 

“Wow, I wasn’t aware we were going to walk down a runway?” Baekhyun raised a brow questioningly at Jongin’s outfit. 

Jongin blushed. 

“Is it too much?” He looked down at himself before looking up the stairs that led to his room doubtfully. “I could change.” 

“No, you look great,” Baekhyun raised his hands reassuringly. “Absolutely gorgeous. I just think _I’m_ a little underdressed.” 

Jongin looked him up and down then shook his head. 

“I think you look amazing,” Jongin marveled and it was Baekhyun’s time to blush. “We match.” 

Jongin played around with the lapels of Baekhyun’s jean jacket. 

“I guess so,” Baekhyun murmured, getting lost in their own world again with Jongin’s sudden proximity. 

Jongin seemed to be just as affected because he let out a shy laugh and stepped away. 

“If we keep doing this, we’ll never make it out of the house,” he said. 

Baekhyun gave him a crooked smile. 

“That doesn’t sound too bad.” 

Jongin ran a hand through his hair, flustered at Baekhyun’s words, his eyes sparkling with amusement. 

“Let me _at least_ take you to dinner first,” Jongin insisted and there was a sense of finality that settled between them. That something may or may not happen that night and Baekhyun was _so_ not ready for it. 

“Lead away,” Baekhyun said, making way for Jongin to pass. 

Jongin nodded and ran his hands through his hair as if collecting his bearings. 

“Let me just get my stuff upstairs and we’ll get going.” 

“I brought my car, by the way. Just in case you wanted to go somewhere far,” he said as he fished his keys from his pocket, showing them to Jongin before could disappear to the second floor. 

“But we can leave it here if you prefer walking.” 

“Do you want me to drive?” Jongin only asked. 

“No, I can handle it,” Baekhyun said, smiling up at him. Jongin nodded again and hurried to get his things. 

Ten minutes later, Baekhyun was behind the wheel and Jongin sat beside him, telling him about his day. Baekhyun listened dutifully as Jongin told him about someone who had bought his painting and he drank in the happiness that exuded from Jongin. 

And being alone with him now felt different than all those other times. Those times it was like he was safe behind a wall that they had both put up, not afraid to overstep because something inherent held them back but now – 

Now it was like he constantly had to remind himself that they were trying for a relationship here – not a friendship or a partnership – but a relationship where he’d rely on him and vice versa. 

And it was scary to face something so real, something with expectations and duties of its own. It was fine back then when he could imagine scenarios to his heart’s content without having to worry about the other would feel and react. 

But despite all these worries going around the back of Baekhyun’s head, he let his heart drive this time, enjoying the moment and relishing on the fact that Jongin must feel just as flustered as he was. 

“How was your day?” Jongin asked, turning to Baekhyun from where he sat with a small expectant on his face. 

“Fine,” Baekhyun said, his voice catching in his throat. Clearing it, he tried again. 

“Busy like always, especially now that the comeback is so near.” 

These were things that Jongin already knew. Baekhyun tried to say anything even remotely interesting that happened today. 

“Minseok suspects that something happened between us,” Baekhyun said finally, glancing at Jongin from the corners of his eye. 

Jongin hummed. 

“And what did he say?” 

“He’s glad that I’m happy,” Baekhyun said with a content smile as Jongin grinned. 

“But we have to keep the relationship for now,” Baekhyun added. He looked at Jongin apologetically before focusing back on the road. “You understand, right?” 

Jongin reached for Baekhyun’s hand that was resting idly on the gear and Baekhyun’s stomach exploded into butterflies when he enclosed it in his. 

“There goes my plan to shout ‘Byun Baekhyun’s my boyfriend!’ up on the rooftop tonight,” Jongin joked as he played around with Baekhyun’s hands. 

Baekhyun chuckled, shaking his head. He tried not to get distracted too much with the way Jongin gripped his hand, warm and snug. 

“But yes,” Jongin continued, before bringing Baekhyun’s hand to his lips to press a chaste kiss. “I understand. As long as I can be with you now, the world can wait.” 

Baekhyun blushed at the words and the action, clearing his throat and gently pulling the hand back. 

“Unless you want me to crash the car into next pole and kill the both of us, you better stop your flirty antics,” Baekhyun told him, putting both hands on the wheel, gripping it tightly. 

Jongin threw his head back and laughed. 

Baekhyun smiled at the sound of it, drowned in it. 

Jongin had led them to a restaurant a little ways away from town which Baekhyun appreciated. 

There was much less chance to run into crazy fans here. 

Anyway, they weren’t going to think anything about the date between him and Jongin unless they suddenly start holding hands over the table they’re all just going to assume that they were just a pair of friends hanging out. That both made Baekhyun relieved and frustrated. 

He was on a date with _Kim Jongin_ , for fuck’s sake. He wanted every single person in the world to know. 

Especially when he looked back at him with that brilliant smile as they were walking inside the restaurant. They seemed to know Jongin as they led the both of them to the second floor, the few people on the first floor only sparing them a glance before going back to their meals. 

The interior had a very homely feeling to it, wooden walls and rustic furniture, plants everywhere and the smell of homemade barbeque in the air. 

“How do you know this place?” Baekhyun asked Jongin in a whisper as the staff led them to their table which was apparently on the balcony. 

Jongin only inclined his head to a painting on the wall. It was of a view of what seemed like a countryside cottage with surrounded by grass and wildflowers; it fit in with the restaurants image perfectly. 

It took Baekhyun a moment to realize that it was one of Jongin’s paintings. Probably something he had done before Baekhyun had ever known him. He stopped to admire it but Jongin only chuckled and tugged on him lightly to follow. 

“Everything you paint is seriously so beautiful,” Baekhyun said under a breath. Jongin smiled at him gratifyingly. 

“Every song you sing sounds a thousand times more beautiful,” Jongin replied simply as he pushed away a curtain that separated the inside from the balcony outside and Baekhyun had to suppress a gasp. 

Now, _that_ was a sight to see. 

The balcony was a small garden that Baekhyun was sure he would’ve seen from below if it were daytime, so beautiful and quaint that Baekhyun wished Jongin would take the time to paint it when they got home. There was a table underneath a trail of vines curling around and down from metal bars, small fairy lights curled along with them, the flowers they touched seem to glow with them. From afar the city lights glowed and from above the stars. 

“Wow,” Baekhyun breathed out. “This is _crazy_ romantic.” 

Jongin laughed at his reaction, tugging him forward to the seats but not before nodding at the waiter gratefully who told them that the food would be out in a bit. 

“Right?” Jongin laughed. “I just asked them to reserve a table. I didn’t know they were getting us a whole rom-com movie set.” 

“I don’t even know how to feel,” Baekhyun laughed in wonder as he studied the flowers and the lights and lanterns above them, candlelight casting them in a wonderful glow. 

“Is it a bit too much? Is your masculinity shaking?” Jongin joked but Baekhyun could see his eyes searching for any sign that Baekhyun was uncomfortable. 

“You’re literally talking to someone who wears eyeliner on a daily basis. My masculinity is well intact, thank you very much.” 

And then the sound of Jongin’s laugh just made everything else perfect. 

“Thank you for doing this,” Baekhyun said, smiling softly. 

“The fans,” Baekhyun began and looked away when he felt a bit self-conscious under Jongin’s gaze. 

“They do a lot for me and they give me a lot of gifts and I’m very, _very_ thankful for every single one of them but this is,” He paused again, not sure why he was getting so emotional. “This is the greatest gift I’ve received in a while. Thank you.” 

Jongin’s smile told Baekhyun that he understood where he was coming from as he nodded and let out a relieved breath again then that smile turned into a wicked grin. 

“You haven’t even tasted the food yet.” 

When they had devoured the last bit of strawberry cheesecake and Baekhyun was feeling completely full and satisfied, they moved to the far end of the balcony that overlooked the lights of the city in the distance as the staff cleared their table, Jongin and Baekhyun thanking them profuselyfor the food. 

“They must have liked your painting a lot if they were willing to go through all that trouble just so you could give me a romantic dinner,” Baekhyun said as they stood side by side, holding on to the railings. 

“You think I didn’t pay for every single crumb of cake you ate there?” Jongin chuckled atBaekhyun’s expression. “Don’t worry you can pay for the next date, whenever that may be.” 

Baekhyun pouted. He would have been ready to pitch in for the date had he been warned that every thing was pre-paid. 

Jongin leaned on his side, turning to look at Baekhyun completely and Baekhyun shifted to do the same, buckling under Jongin’s warm and loving gaze that glowed under the moonlight. 

His heart that hadn’t stopped racing since they had gotten up from the table stuttered at the look, feeling overwhelmed from just how gorgeous Jongin was up close. 

Before he could process what he was doing, he was lifting a hand up to graze his knuckles across Jongin’s cheek and settling his hand there. It was like he was seeing him in a different light now that he had let himself let go of some of the inhibitions that had held him back the first time the had met. 

“You’re so unbelievably handsome; sometimes I think I just dreamed you up,” Baekhyun admitted, his eyes travelling from Jongin’s eyes to his nose to his lips to his cheek, studying every inch of that godly face. 

And when he broke into that dazzling smile, showing that huge cheek dimple, Baekhyun melted all over again. 

“Do you dream of me often, then?” Jongin grinned at him playfully. 

There was always such joy whenever Baekhyun was with Jongin. He was always laughing and smiling and grinning and oh, how it enamored Baekhyun who loved to laugh and make others laugh. 

But a memory tugged on Baekhyun’s mind. How Jongin had looked kneeling on the floor of his studio with tears streaming down his face and he froze. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun admitted again. “I daydream about you a lot. More than I’d care to admit.” 

Jongin blushed underneath his golden skin but he still managed to smile shyly at Baekhyun, taking the hand Baekhyun had pressed up against his cheek and brought it again to his lips like he did in the car. 

“You have really pretty fingers,” Jongin mumbled against Baekhyun’s skin. Baekhyun watched as Jongin closed his eyes briefly, steeling himself to ask the question he had been asking silently for _months_. 

“Jongin, is it alright if I ask you a question?” 

He opened his eyes and met Baekhyun’s serious ones, dropping his hand from his lips but still gripped it as he held it between them. 

“Sure,” Jongin said casually but curiosity sparked in his eyes at Baekhyun’s sudden change in topic. 

“I don’t mean to pry into anything and it’s totally okay if you don’t want to tell me,” Baekhyun began, already rambling. 

“But there was a week when I was passing by your studio and you seemed,” he paused, looking for a word to describe just how depressed Jongin had been every time he glanced at him through those windows. 

“Sad. Out of it, I guess. You stared at your canvas blankly, you kept the lights off, you didn’t paint at all,” Baekhyun listed off the things he remembered slowly, gently, so he could gauge Jongin’s reaction. 

“Why?” Baekhyun asked, searching his kind, brown eyes for the answer and for a second Baekhyun swore that they were unfocused, remembering those times too. 

The grip Jongin had on Baekhyun’s hand tightened by a fraction as Jongin let out a deep breath, trying for a smile that didn’t quite reach for his eyes. Baekhyun squeezed back, waiting patiently. 

“Around that time, my father passed away,” Jongin said softly but not quietly, looking away from Baekhyun to look at the city instead. Baekhyun listened quietly, instantly regretting that he had brought it up but Jongin seemed to want to tell the story so he let him, even if the expression on his face punched a hole through Baekhyun’s chest. 

“He’d been sick for a long time; I think some part of me already knew that it was a matter of time until he died. It didn’t ease the ache when he did, though. No matter how many times I told myself that I was ready and that at least, this way he’d finally be able to rest.” 

He paused, taking adeep breath, blinking hard and fast at the distance and Baekhyun knew he was trying not to let the tears fall. 

Baekhyun brought up his other hand and gripped Jongin’s chin gently, urging him to meet his eyes. Jongin’s face was blank but his eyes bore the same sadness they had during that week. 

“It’s alright,” Baekhyun said softly, not really knowing why he said it. It felt like the right thing to say at that time. “You’re alright.” 

At that Jongin’s face finally crumpled as he let a few tears free and Baekhyun brushed them away with his free hand. 

“Before he died his last words to me were, ‘I’m so proud of you. No matter where you go from here on out, I’ll be proud of you’,” Jongin sniffled, gazing intently at their intertwined hands. 

And there was a different ache in Baekhyun’s heart as he tried to comfort him, wondering briefly if this was the first time he had actually gotten to talk about it outside of his family, if he had been able to confide this to his friend, Sehun. 

“My father wanted me to become an idol, like you,” he chuckled lightly, tracing his thumb across his hand. “I said that I wanted to paint instead. Dance and paint. I didn’t want to become an idol. I didn’t even know how to sing. I grew up thinking he was disappointed in me, though he never really showed it. It was why I moved out when I was so young when I first sold a few of my paintings for a decent price.” 

Jongin shook his head. 

“I was stupid to think that. I spent years hating him, avoiding him because I couldn’t look him in the eye and brag about what I’ve been able to achieve not following the dream he had for me and all that time,” he looked up as another onslaught of tears came, breathing heavily and Baekhyun was sure he was holding back tears of his own. 

“All that time, he just wanted to say that he was proud of me. God, I was such an asshole,” he kept shaking his head. 

“But you were there in the end,” Baekhyun said softly. “That’s what matters, Jongin. That you let him say what he’d wanted to say in the end. We don’t usually want the dreams our parent’s dreamed up for us, and sometimes we go through all of them to see them happy, but I think they’re a hell of a lot prouder when we choose our dreams for ourselves, happier to see we achieve them.” 

Jongin watched Baekhyun silently, letting his tears strean down freely now and a small sad smile made its way to Baekhyun’s face. 

“Take me for example, I don’t think my mom ever really expected me to achieve my dream of being a pro-gamer. Look at me now, I get offers every single weekend,” Baekhyun said playfully proudly. 

That coaxed a laugh out of Jongin who surged forward to wrap him in a warm embrace and he was reminded of how he was similar to bear. The hug was warm and perfect and Baekhyun could’ve stayed in his arms forever if he’d let him. 

When Jongin pulled away, he wiped away at his tears, shaking his head and chuckling. 

“Sorry for suddenly getting emotional and crying and everything.” 

“Nah,” Baekhyun waved it away. “I’m sorry for suddenly bringing it up. And thank you,” 

Baekhyun reached over to kiss him on the cheek, blushing madly at his boldness. 

“For telling me about it.” 

Jongin nodded, smiling now and Baekhyun was glad that he was still able to smile despite a sadness he seemed to carry around in his heart. 

And he didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but someday, he wished that he’d be the one to help him get over it. 

When they made it home, Baekhyun walked Jongin inside and to his room upstairs, not bothering to turn on any lights until they reached the kitchen, stumbling around blindly as Baekhyun held tightly on to Jongin’s hand. 

Jongin crashed on to his couch, pulling Baekhyun along with him, wrapping him in a tangle of arms and legs. Baekhyun let out a laugh as he scooted to face Jongin properly. The swelling of his eyes from the crying had gone down and now he looked at Baekhyun with gentle, puppy eyes. 

“I guess the date’s over now,” Jongin pouted at him, relinquishing him from the bear hold and letting him sit up properly. “It’s getting late too, I don’t want to be the reason you come in to work late tomorrow.” 

“Actually,” Baekhyun said, suddenly feeling a bit shy, the familiar pounding of his heart back again to haunt him. 

“I got permission to stay the night.” 

Jongin’s eyes rose in surprise before a delighted smile stretched across his cheeks, calming some of the butterflies in Baekhyun’s stomach. 

A bit. 

“That’s awesome! What do you want to do?” Jongin exclaimed. “Nothing that’ll make us stay up all night, though. I’m pretty sure you still have to be back there bright and early.” 

“What do you want to do?” Baekhyun threw the question back at him, trying to sound casual. Of course, Jongin was right. They shouldn’t do any _strenuous_ activities that would make them stay up all night. He still had work in the morning. 

“Right now, I don’t really want to do anything except be with you so I’m all good,” Jongin smiled innocently. 

“So, is kissing you alright?” Baekhyun found himself asking. Jongin blinked, glanced at Baekhyun’s lips and unconsciously licked his own. The action made Baekhyun’s head swirl. 

“Yes.” 

As soon as Jongin said that, Baekhyun was on him and kissing him slowly at first the way he had wanted to do the whole time they were together tonight. Jongin kissed him with equal passion, pulling him closer and letting him sit up on his lap. 

Baekhyun didn’t know how many times he imagined himself sitting on Jongin’s lap, running his fingers through his soft hair and kissing him. Countless times, maybe even more. Baekhyun gripped Jongin’s shirt, pulling him closer, claiming him as Jongin did. 

Jongin’s arms around him grew tighter ever so gently, careful of Baekhyun as if he might break. When Jongin’s tongue brushed against his, it left him gasping for air. The kiss was thorough and slow as if they had all the time in the world. 

As if they were the only ones in it. 

Soon, Jongin had carried him over to the bed and they draped across each other, kissing every inch of exposed skin they could. Baekhyun tilted his head to the side as Jongin brought his lips to his cheek, his jaw and then down to his throat where he placed countless of kisses, each burning with desire he held back. 

“Are you sure you want this?” Jongin murmured against his skin when Baekhyun began unbuttoning Jongin’s shirt, wanting to run his hands through the planes of his chest, his stomach, and his sinful hips. 

Baekhyun barely heard the question over the thundering of his heart and the blood rushing through his ears. 

“Yes,” he gasped out when Jongin nibbled lightly on his collarbone, looking for an answer. 

“I don’t know exactly I want,” Baekhyun admitted, looking Jongin in the eyes when he lifted himself up. “But I want this. With you.” 

And the smile that graced Jongin’s lips was nothing short of heavenly, before he leaned forward again to claim Baekhyun’s lips in his. 

“Then let me take care of you,” he murmured against his lips. 

There weren’t any other sounds except for Baekhyun’s heavy breathing, Jongin’s kisses and the occasional car that drove past that bathed the otherwise dark room with an orange glow. The only constant light lighting up the room coming from the street light and the lights of the neighboring buildings, leaving just enough for Baekhyun to see. 

When their shirts were finally off (Baekhyun didn’t even notice, he was too focused on the way Jongin seemed to want to kiss every inch of him, skimming his fingers gently across his skin), Baekhyun brought him back for a kiss on his lips, grinding against the hand Jongin had left on the uncomfortable bulge that had grown in his pants. 

Baekhyun kissed him feverishly and fervently, thoughts already clouded of everything except for Jongin. 

Baekhyun moaned into the kiss when Jongin finally unbuttoned his pants and carefully slid his hand into the space between the cloth of his boxers and his jeans. 

At first he worried that he was the only one who felt the desperate need to be touched, that is, until Jongin ground against him and he felt his own erection brushing up against his thigh and every thought cleared out as Baekhyun focused on the sheer feeling of Jongin against him. 

Baekhyun lifted his hips off of the bed as Jongin tugged his pants and underwear down, past his knees and off his ankles, throwing it somewhere behind him, his painful hard-on springing up against his lower stomach already leaking pre-cum. 

Jongin didn’t let him feel embarrassed, pressing a kiss to his abdomen lightly, leaving little marks on his waist and the sides of his hips. 

Baekhyun bit back a loud groan when Jongin took his dick in his hand, spreading the pre-cum across the head before using it as lube to run his hand up and down the shaft. Jongin continued the hypnotizing motions as he brought his face back to Baekhyun’s. 

When their eyes met, he noticed that his eyes were blown with lust just as Baekhyun’s was, he was sure. Jongin nuzzled into the side of Baekhyun’s neck, the action innocent if he weren’t giving Baekhyun a handjob right now. 

“What do you want me to do?” Jongin asked him, his breath tickling Baekhyun’s ear, throaty and so sexy Baekhyun thought he’d go mad. 

Breathing heavily, trying to stop himself from bucking into Jongin’s hand, Baekhyun couldn’t answer and he felt Jongin smile against his cheek. 

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Jongin whispered sensually, the grip he had on Baekhyun’s dick tightening a bit, making him whine out and press his cheek against Jongin’s harder. 

“Stretch you out and make you scream for me?” Jongin continued, now bringing his attention back to Baekhyun’s throat. Baekhyun didn’t seem to need to tell him not to leave any marks where they’d be seen since he only left kisses and licked spots after. 

“I think you’d rather enjoy stretching around me while I pound you into the bed,” Jongin mused then he cocked his head to the side, smiling mischievously as Baekhyun writhed under his ministrations and dirty talk. 

“Or maybe,” he trailed off. “You want to fuck me? Enter me from behind, make me whine out your name. I wouldn’t object to that.” 

Baekhyun couldn’t stop himself from bucking up into his hand at that, sweating profusely now from the effort of trying not to cum. 

Jongin chuckled at the reaction. 

“You seem to like that idea.” 

“No,” Baekhyun managed to choke out, reaching out with the hand he didn’t use to grip the sheets to lay his hand on Jongin’s wrist. 

“I want you tonight. Please.” 

That seemed to turn Jongin on, biting his lip as he watched Baekhyun. His hand sped up and Baekhyun threw his head back, his hips following the movement, unable to stop. The feeling of Jongin’s warm, rough hand on his cock, pumping up and down, up and down was too much for Baekhyun to handle and he came with a moam. 

“Jongin,” Baekhyun moaned. “Jongin, _fuck._ ” 

Jongin swallowed the sound with a deep kiss. 

Hastily, Jongin stood up and immediately Baekhyun yearned for the warmth that had disappeared but he froze where he was as he watched Jongin strip off the rest of his clothes and he was met with his hot erection, red and straining against Jongin’s toned abs at the sight of Baekhyun there already a bit fucked out. 

Grabbing lube and a condom from the bedside drawer, Jongin crawled back over to Baekhyun just as he was rising to his knees. He wanted to suck the life out of Jongin. He wanted to hear him moan and groan as he pulled on his hair, the taste of his cock on Baekhyun’s tongue. 

As if Jongin could read his thoughts, he caught Baekhyun’s face and brought it back to meet his. 

“Not tonight,” he murmured in that bedroom voice. “I don’t think I’d last very long if I let you wrap those perfect lips around me. Tonight is all about you.” 

And for a moment they just stared at each other. Jongin’s hair was delicioulisly mussed and Baekhyun was sure his was too. Baekhyun blinked again and again as he processed exactly how gorgeous Jongin was, especially in that lighting, especially in his arms like this. 

When Jongin smiled in that moment Baekhyun was sure he was falling in love. 

Jongin laid him back down on the bed gently, rubbing his palms soothingly on Baekhyun’s thighs. 

“Spread your legs,” Jongin murmured, swallowing nervously. Baekhyun tried to push away his own nerves and tried to focus solely on the feeling of Jongin waiting in between his legs. 

Baekhyun watched as Jongin squeezed out a generous amount of lube on his fingers, then as he spread some on his hole, making him take in a sharp gasp at his own sensitivity. 

He had never thought about sex in _that_ way, not until Jongin came along and it was like, in the deepest, darkest corner of his mind, it was all he wanted. 

Jongin grinned at how Baekhyun gasped. Baekhyun slapped his thigh, blushing madly, as they shared a quiet laugh. 

“Relax,” Jongin said, breathily as he circled and traced Baekhyun’s entrance. “Okay? Relax.” 

“Here,” he offered his free hand for Baekhyun to grip. “I’m here. You’re alright.” 

“How can I forget that you’re – “Baekhyun cut himself off with another gasp and then a drawn out moan, dropping his head back down to the pillows when Jongin slid in one of his fingers in slowly. 

“Here,” Baekhyun breathed out, finishing his sentence. His hand reached out blindly when Jongin withdrew it to lift Baekhyun’s leg and settle it on his thigh to lift Baekhyun’s hip up at an angle. 

Jongin quickly offered his hand back when he started pumping his finger in and out of Baekhyun slowly, gently. The stretch was foreign but not necessarily uncomfortable and very soon he got used to it. 

Moaning for Jongin to add the second one, he complied, making him keen out, lifting his hips in search for more. Jongin crooked his fingers before pumping them in and out. 

“Does that feel good?” Jongin asked. 

“Very,” Baekhyun answered as he gripped Jongin’s hand, the one and only thing that kept him solid. 

His cock was starting to leave quite the mess in his stomach when Jongin finally stopped fingering him, deciding that he was ready. 

Baekhyun lay there limp as Jongin rolled on the condom on himself and pumped himself once, twice before lining himself up against Baekhyun’s hole. He braced himself for the sheer size and the overwhelming feeling he was about to get in a few seconds. 

Jongin leaned forward to plant a kiss on Baekhyun’s lips, gripping and lifting Baekhyun’s legs to wrap them around his legs. 

“Ready?” He asked and Baekhyun nodded holding his breath and rolling his hips unto Jongin’s waiting cock. 

Baekhyun smiled a bit when Jongin let out a groan. 

Both of them seemed to be holding their breaths as Jongin began sliding in, Baekhyun gripping Jongin’s arms, trying to get used to the sudden intrusion while Jongin kept pressing comforting kisses to his neck, his collarbones, his forehead. 

When he was finally settled inside and their hips fit perfectly against each other, they took a moment to breathe each other in. Baekhyun let out a gasp, throwing his head back into the pillows, his eyes fluttering shut. 

This – this was harder to adjust to and Jongin seemed to understand because he kept still and waited for him, pressing his forehead against Baekhyum’s shoulder, kissing his already burning skin now and again. After what might have been a few minutes, Baekhyun rasped out, breathless, 

“I think you can move now.” He tried to wiggle his hips a bit experimentally and Jongin let out a groan, hiking Baekhyun’s leg up higher on his waist. 

Baekhyun keened at how much deeper Jongin went because of that one move. 

“ _Oh god._ ” 

He couldn’t find a way to describe the way he felt inside him, hard and perfect and stretching him out. Shallowly, Jongin pulled out and pushed back in, the movement small and gentle and it frustrated Baekhyun. 

“Move more,” Baekhyun breathed and he watched as Jongin lifted himself up on his forearms to meet his eyes as he started moving his hips in a rolling motion, grinding into Baekhyun each time. 

And Jongin wasn’t disappointed as Baekhyun’s mouth opens into a small ‘o’, his eyes rolling to the back of his head at the way Jongin suddenly picks up the pace, his hips snapping into Baekhyun’s deliciously. 

“You feel so good,” Jongin breathily said, making Baekhyun look at him again. At how his face was contorted in pleasure and how those eyes were focused only him. 

“So _so_ good,” Jongin groaned before pressing their lips together, thrusting a bit harder, a bit deeper with it and Baekhyun’s fingers dug into the muscles of his back. After the searing kiss, Jongin hovers over him, their lips brushing against each other with each push and pull of Jongin’s hips. 

Baekhyun’s hands travel to Jongin’s hair and he tangled his fingers in the curls, whining when Jongin hits a spot in Baekhyun he didn’t even know existed. His back arched in pleasure, accidentally pulling Jongin’s hair in the process. With a groan, he repeated the action, hitting the same spot again and again and Baekhyun couldn’t see anything but white. 

He tried calling Jongin’s name but it came out as moans or whines or whimpers but Jongin seemed to get it. 

“I think I’m close,” Baekhyun gasped out and Jongin’s hips went back to a slow grind, rubbing against Baekhyun’s walls perfectly. 

“Me too,” Jongin breathed out against his lips. “Fuck, me too.” 

Now his hips were relentlessly pounding into him and Baekhyun cries out with a jolt when Jongin’s hand suddenly travels from where it would probably leave bruises on his hips to his hard, weeping cock and started pumping him there too. 

“Oh my god, Jongin. Ah, fuck.” 

Jongin’s hips were stuttering now, getting sloppier and sloppier as he reached for his climax, intent on making Baekhyun go over first. 

“Come on, Baek,” Jongin moaned in his ear. “Let go for me.” 

The feeling of Jongin pumping his cock, fucking into him, hitting that one spot again so deep it had Baekhyun seeing stars and his raspy, worn out voice sent him hurtling for the edge. A string of curses mixed in with Jongin’s name escapes Baekhyun as he cums all across Jongin’s knuckles and their stomachs. 

Three powerful, shaking thrusts later, Jongin releases into the condom. 

“Shit, _Baekhyun_ ,” Jongin let out a drawn out groan, panting and dropping his head back in the crook of Baekhyun’s shoulder. 

They were sweaty and panting and tired and gross but Baekhyun had never felt so good in his life. He was totally spent and it seemed that Jongin was the same as he nuzzled into his neck. Baekhyun clutched unto him as he pulled out with a small moan, leaving him clenching on nothing but air. 

Worn out, Jongin rolled off him with a small grunt and Baekhyun stared at the ceiling high above him as his legs slid down on the bed with a thud. 

“God,” he said, pushing his bangs off his sweaty forehead with a small laugh, looking to the side to meet Jongin’s gaze. “I fucking knew you’d be good at sex.” 

Jongin let out a surprised laugh before leaning in to peck him on the lips chastely, so at odds with what they had just done. 

“And you were perfect – and beautiful – and absolutely amazing,” Jongin pulled Baekhyun closer to him as he gave him a kiss on every part of his face for each one. 

Baekhyun whined, pushing away from the onslaught of kisses as he giggled but Jongin only chuckled, keeping him locked in his arms. When their eyes met again when Baekhyun had succeeded in lifting himself up over Jongin, there was so much emotion filling into Baekhyun’s already overflowing heart that he couldn’t help but smile lovingly at Jongin, brushing his hair out of his eyes. 

And God, did his heart soar when Jongin smiled back. 

An hour later, they were lying on their backs again as they stared at the ceiling after taking a shower and cleaning themselves up. The shower was sweet and intimate and they didn’t do anything more than share a few kisses here and there. 

Which was a stupid thing to do, they realized when they got soap and shampoo into their mouths, laughing and gagging the whole time. 

They had changed into Jongin’s clothes when they had dried off, Baekhyun borrowing a shirt and a pair of clean, cotton boxers that were so comfy and that smelled of Jongin while Jongin only slipped into a pair of sweats before joining Baekhyun on the bed. 

Baekhyun now lay curled on his side, using Jongin’s arm as a pillow as he drew lazy figures on Jongin’s exposed torso. Jongin had an arm around Baekhyun’s waist, the weight of it a welcome feeling as a hand played with Baekhyun’s hair. 

They lay there in comfortable silence, breathing each other in easily and Baekhyun couldn’t remember a time after he had become trainee that he had been so at peace and relaxed. It was like he was in another world where nothing else existed except Jongin. 

No problems. No stress. No nothing. 

Just him and Jongin. 

He felt so blissfully happy, like he had found the answer to every single unanswered question he had ever asked in his entire life. Letting out a contented breath, Baekhyun smiled giddily. 

“What are you thinking about?” Jongin asked him softly, his hand still playing around with Baekhyun’s hair softly. 

Baekhyun looked up to see those brown eyes watching him adoringly, a small smile already on Jongin’s mouth at the sight of Baekhyun’s. 

“You,” Baekhyun said, equally as soft. “Always you.” 

“And what about me?” 

“How you make me so happy and how you make me blush and how you make my toes curl.” 

Jongin now watched him with so much emotion that if it were for anyone but Baekhyun he would have looked away. 

“You make me feel the same way, you know. Those letters and gifts that were given to me helped, yes,” Jongin paused, the hand that had been on Baekhyun’s waist travelling up his side and settling on his cheek as Jongin continued. 

“But _you_ healed me. With your smiles and your bright mood. Even before we actually started talking, when I met you at that gallery, I got curious and I looked you and group up and it was the best decision of my life.Your voice is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. It was your voice that used to sing me to sleep during those bad days after my father’s death. Your voice that kept me going. Your music that saved me.” 

Baekhyun stared at him in shock and devastation. He had no idea that Jongin had felt so strongly for him and Baekhyun’s heart echoed the sentiment, feeling itself shudder with so much love for this boy that seemed to love him as much as it did. 

“Thank you for that,” Jongin whispered into the night as he buried his face in Baekhyun’s hair, his arm going back to Baekhyun’s waist, cradling him in an embrace and Baekhyun had to fight back the tears that threatened to spill over. 

He wrapped his arms around Jongin too, squeezing him closer as he laid his forehead on Jongin’s chest, wishing he could say something else as he croaked out, 

“Thank you.” 

As he wished and longed for the time that he could finally say ‘I love you’. 

**A MONTH LATER**

A month into their relationship, Baekhyun’s pretty damn sure he’s never been so happy in his life. 

The comeback promotions were as hectic and stressful as ever but with Jongin there who usually came over to the music show venue with a couple cups of coffee even in the wee hours of the morning, it was like everything was easier. 

Baekhyun would usually visit him over at his apartment and they’d cuddle until Baekhyun had to leave to go to work. 

There had been one day where Baekhyun had the afternoon of, a week or so after that night, where he walked in to Jongin’s studio to find one of Jongin’s old paintings out and leaning on the wall which was a sign that he was cleaning somewhere at the back and looking at his old works. 

Secretly, Baekhyun had snapped a picture and uploaded it on his SNS because he thought that it was so unfair that a beautiful painting like that was hidden in the depths of Jongin’s studio apartment. He tagged Jongin’s name with the picture, thinking nothing more of it as he bounded on over to hunt for his boyfriend. 

The next day though, Jongin called him while he was at dance practice. 

_“Babe, why is my business number blowing up with messages, e-mails and calls with people asking if it was my painting Byun Baekhyun took a picture of?”_

_“Shit. I forgot to tell you. I might have, probably, advertised one of your paintings on my Instagram,” Baekhyun answered sheepishly. “It wasn’t like I was trying to do you a favor, I swear. I just wanted other people to see how beautiful your paintings were.”_

_Silence came from the other end._

_“Are you angry?” Baekhyun had asked after a heartbeat._

_“Angry?” Jongin laughed. “Baekhyun, I’m thrilled. I’ve never been so employed in my entire life. Art industries and exhibitions from all around the world are suddenly hitting me up.”_

_At that, Baekhyun grinned._

_“I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m using you,” Jongin had suddenly amended._

_“No,” Baekhyun had quickly disagreed. “I’m happy for you. I’m happy I could help with your job.”_

_“It seems like I’m always thanking you for something,” Jongin had chuckled. “Dinner’s on me?”_

_Baekhyun had smiled._

_“It better be.”_

There were other times when Jongin would hang out at the dorms with Baekhyun when he couldn’t fall asleep or he wouldn’t let himself sleep, practicing late into the night in one of the recording studios they had at the dorms. 

Jongin would hang out with him and keep him company and force him into bed when he felt like he really needed the sleep. 

Minseok who knew, of course, supported their relationship but Baekhyun still found it hard to tell Jongdae. Why, he didn’t know. It just never seemed like the right time to tell him and Jongin and him never really touched more than what was considered normal for friends whenever Jongdae was around them. 

Sehun caught on pretty quickly. Especially after he had caught them making out on the Jongin’s couch one evening. (Jongin told Baekhyun that Sehun had always had a set of keys; which he dropped when he stumbled upon his best frined kissing the idol). 

Though it took a lot of explaining on their end and teasing from Sehun’s, he was pretty accepting and gracious about their relationship. 

The fans, which had been Baekhyun’s biggest worry, had miraculously solved itself when photos of him and Jongin hanging out and eating together were posted online. They had found it sweet and cute that Baekhyun had a new friend and that he had time to go out and have fun with him. 

Of course, all of them assumed that they were just that – friends. It wasn’t a total confession but at least Baekhyun and Jongin could go out on dates without people and gossip channels breathing down their necks. 

Now, Baekhyun stood two stories high in an elevating square of the stage in the first venue of their concert our in Seoul, grasping the railing behind him and trying not to look down. 

“You guys okay up there?” Jongin said into the mic from behind and far below him on the actual stage. Baekhyun looked obver his shoulder to see him standing there with Yixing and Sehun and a bunch of their other staff members, helping them with preparations for their upcoming concert in a few days. 

Meters away, on each side of him and in a square similar to Baekhyun’s, Jongdae and Minseok stood holding the railings on their side as he did. 

Minseok threw them a thumbs-up while Jongdae said into the mic, 

“It’s really not half that bad. You get used to heights once you’ve travelled in a plane one too many times.” 

Baekhyun nodded along with him and said into the mic. 

“As long as I don’t have to move too much, I think it’ll be fine.” 

The staff then murmured between them, taking notes and with a slight shudder the stage started lowering itself back down onto the ground. Baekhyun waited for the few minutes it took to reach it as he watched the empty seats in front of him and tried to imagine the dozens of faces lit by their lightsticks their in only a few more nights time. 

Jongin jogged to Baekhyun’s part of the arena to meet him and with shaky legs, Baekhyun stepped off of the platform and into his firm grip. He wanted to sink into his arms like he always did when they were at his place but was painfully aware of the amount of people in the arena and decided against it. 

“You okay?” Jongin asked him. 

“Never better,” Baekhyun replied, stepping away and patting his boyfriends arm comfortingly. “We just have to stand there and sing a ballad for about five minutes so there’s really nothing to worry about.” 

The slightly doubtful, slightly scared expression on Baekhyun’s face had Jongin laughing which, even after a month of their hidden relationship, never ceased to make butterflies erupt in his stomach. 

“It’s too bad that I won’t be able to see the opening concert,” Jongin sighed as they walked down the platform and started walking back to the main stage which was pretty far away. On the actual concert, the three of them would be riding carts toward and back their respective stages. 

Jongin, however had an exhibition abroad, somewhere in Europe where one of his paintings was bought and was about to be hung up in a museum on the day of the concert so he wouldn’t be there to support Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun couldn’t care less. He pushed Jongin to go to the event because it was an important milestone in his career. There was going to be tons of other concerts that he could attend. Pouting, Jongin finally agreed after hours of being worn down by Baekhyun. 

“You’ll be able to go to the others, though,” Baekhyun assured him again. “And hopefully, I’ll be able to go to more of your exhibits when I’m not busy.” 

Today, Sehun and Jongin and Yixing had joined in on the practice to help them with their solo stages. Baekhyun thought that each was awesome and that he literally couldn’t wait to show the fans their new stuff. Especially that his was something that he and Jongin worked on together and was something really close to his heart. 

Jongin only gave a slight as they joined the others. 

By this time Sehun had stopped giving them teasing, knowing looks but he still glanced at them, eyeing the space between them for a second before looking away with a slight smirk. Baekhyun felt his face reddened but he brushed his knuckles against Jongin’s before moving to stand beside Jongdae. 

Hours later, in one of the changing slash waiting rooms, Jongin, Baekhyun and Minseok lounged around. Yixing and Jongdae were outside on the stage and practicing his solo stage, Sehun nowhere to be found but Jongin insisted that he would have just gone out to get some food. 

“Should we grab dinner after?” Jongin said from where he was sitting on one of the couches, running his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair whose head rested comfortably on his lap. 

Baekhyun was half-asleep and it took him a couple of seconds to figure out that Jongin had asked him a question. 

“Hm?” Baekhyun grunted, opening his eyes to meet Jongin’s looking down at him. “Oh. Yeah, sure. Dinner sounds great.” 

He half-mumbled, moving to make himself more comfortable as he curled on his side. Jongin chuckled at the sight of him. 

“Are you sure? We could just go straight home and sleep,” Jongin offered. 

“No,” Baekhyun shook his head. “I want to have dinner with you tonight.” 

“Okay, okay,” Jongin laughed and Baekhyun felt it travel across his body, jostling his head a bit. “Whatever you say.” 

He leaned forward to plant a kiss on the top of his head and finally let Baekhyun fall blissfully asleep. 

Another few hours later, dozens of times practicing the same stages over and over again, Baekhyun and the others were finally let off to get dinner and rest. Baekhyun was pretty sure that practice wouldn’t be as lenient in the next days so he took the opportunity and ran, assuring that he’d be back at the dorms before before midnight, dragging Jongin with him. 

They took the time to change into more appropriate clothes for a dinner date out in the town and with living so close to each other, it barely took half an hour before they were back in Baekhyun’s car and driving toward the restaurant for the night. 

He and Jongin had been on few dates that weren’t during dinner because of their busy schedules but both of them seemed to be alright with it. It always reminded them of their first date in that balcony garden and the candles and fairy lights around them. 

Tonight, Jongin drove, keeping one hand on the wheel and the other holding Baekhyun’s as they sang along to the songs that played on the radio. (Well, Baekhyun did most of the singing. Jongin was content with listening to him, a soft smile on his face). 

They had picked a restaurant Kyungsoo had recommended a few weeks ago when Baekhyun had bumped into him at the company. Baekhyun knew that Kyungsoo was as good as looking for the best restaurants as he was cooking so he took a mental note of the restaurant’s name. 

As per usual, they picked a table far away from the windows so that Baekhyun wouldn’t be spotted despite already wearing a cap to hide most of his face. 

Jongin, bless him, was always understanding of Baekhyun’s situation and why they couldn’t brag about their relationship no matter how much the both of them wanted to. He made up for that opportunity by coddling behind closed doors, showering him with so much love Baekhyun had never felt quite so filled. 

“You know, what I’m still curious about?” Jongin suddenly said, in the middle of their meal after he had swallowed a bite. 

“What?” Baekhyun cocked his head to the side. A small wistful smile played around the edges of Jongin’s perfect, pillow lips. 

“I never really did find out who left those notes on my door. It’s been weeks since they’ve left anything.” 

Baekhyun swallowed his food hard. That was one part that he had also not told Jongin, how he had been the one leaving those notes as a way of support when they had not yet been friends. He’s been keeping a lot of secrets from a lot of people these days for no good reason. 

It was just _easier_ , he guessed. Than having to explain everything. Than having to make them understand something he didn’t understand either. 

Forcing a shrug, Baekhyun smiled at him comfortingly, itching to hold the hand that lay on the table he knew he couldn’t hold out in public. 

“I’m sure it’s because they see that you’re happy again,” Baekhyun said. 

“I mean, yeah,” Jongin nodded. “I don’t really need the notes now. I’ve got you.” 

He flashed a brilliant smile at Baekhyun that had him marveling at him, dazed for a second. Whenever he smiled like that and Baekhyun processed and accepted that the smile was for him, it never failed to stop him in his tracks. Jongin was so beautiful, so kind, and so pure that Baekhyun couldn’t believe that he would ever like someone like him. 

He deserved better than someone who could only love him behind closed doors. A glance at his hands again. 

Someone who could hold his hands in public without worrying what anyone else would say. 

He shook his head out of those thoughts. He’d been having them a lot these days and he hated every single one of them. 

“Still,” Jongin said after taking a sip from his soda. “I wish I could’ve thanked them, at least.” 

_You have,_ Baekhyun thought. _In every kiss you’ve given me, every smile and every embrace. You’ve shown me how grateful you are_ . 

Baekhyun only smiled again. 

“I’m sure they know, Jongin.” 

After parking his car in front of their dorms, Baekhyun insisted that he walk Jongin back to his apartment which was practically just a street away. 

They walked side by side as Baekhyun talked animatedly about the recent game he had won on PUBG, giving Jongin a play-by-play of his kills, his loots, his chicken dinners and Jongin only giggled as he listened to him under the glow of streetlights. 

“You really should play a game with me sometime,” Baekhyun insisted as they started walking up the stairs to Jongin’s front door. “It’ll be fun! I’ll teach you everything you need to know.” 

“I’m sure if it’s with you, it will be,” Jongin said, smiling at him angelically before looking away to unlock his door. When the key had finally turned the lock and Jongin had pushed the door inside, Baekhyun hung back as he watched Jongin walk in. 

“You’re not coming in?” Jongin asked him, looking over a shoulder. Baekhyun shook his head. 

“Nah, I have to turn in early tonight. Chanyeol wants me at the studio early tomorrow morning. For games or for actual recording, I don’t know.” 

Jongin nodded and just as Baekhyun was sure that he was going to bid him goodnight, he swooped in and captured Baekhyun’s lips in his in a sweet short kiss. It was so short that Baekhyun didn’t have the time to worry if someone had seen because they still stood in front of the entrance to Jongin’s house. 

But the kiss had Baekhyun wondering if he shouldn’t go back home tonight and just spend the night making love with Jongin instead, his toes curling and his heart pounding at the thought. They’d done it a few times after their first time and Baekhyun loved each and every time they did. 

Then Jongin planted another kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead, as if he knew the anxieties that had plagued Baekhyun these days. The soft feeling of his lips on his temple calmed him down, like it always did. 

“Okay,” Jongin said, his voice as soft as the kisses he had given him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Baekhyun was sure he had a dopey smile on his face, biting his lip to contain his happiness at the small actions. 

“Okay. Good night,” Baekhyun said, taking a step down the stairs without taking his eyes off of Jongin. 

“Watch where you’re going,” Jongin laughed. “Good night, Baekhyun.” 

With that he closed the door and Baekhyun was left to jog back to his dorms, dark thoughts and worries disappearing from his mind. 

What was there to worry about anyway? 

He woke up the next day to the sound of Jongdae’s agitated voice and Minseok trying to calm him down with short replies. 

Confusion flooded throughout Baekhyun, his brows furrowing, wondering if he was still dreaming. 

“This rumour is just plain stupid, Minseok,” he heard Jongdae said. “I mean, you can barely tell it’s them. I don’t get why we can’t just sue them right now.” 

“Calm down, Dae. Let’s just talk about this with Baekhyun first,” Minseok replied. 

Baekhyun’s confusion only grew with the mention of his name. 

“I don’t want him to see this,” Jongdae said adamantly. “We don’t know how he’ll react. He practically went into shock the last time this happened. I don’t want that to happen again. We have to deal with this before he wakes up.” 

_Too late,_ Baekhyun thought as he rolled off his bed, padding over to the door to his room. The conversation seemed to be serious and he didn’t want to be left out of it, especially if it had something to do with the group. 

But he couldn’t help but let dread melt into his bones when his brain was finally processing just how distressed his members were. What exactly had happened? 

At the sound of his door opening, Jongdae and Minseok fell silent in the kitchen and that only served to fuel Baekhyun’s panic more. 

“Guys?” Baekhyun called out, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “What’s happening? Are you arguing?” 

He was pretty sure he looked pretty haggard as he walked down the hallway of their rooms toward the kitchen where Jongdae and Minseok stood a few feet away from each other, Jongdae clutching his phone in his hand and Minseok leaning on the counter. Both looked like they’d been awake for quite a while now which left Baekhyun wondering what time exactly it was. 

“What?” Baekhyun asked, Jongdae’s expression unnerving him. “What is it? What happened?” 

“Baekhyun, stay calm,” Minseok started and those words only served to trigger Baekhyun’s body to do anything but. 

“What?” Baekhyun asked again, trying really hard not to tremble. “How could you start the sentence like that, Minseok? You _know_ it’s harder to stay calm when I know something bad is going to happen. Oh God.” 

Baekhyun started ranting and Jongdae came over to him after throwing Minseok a dirty look, put his hands on his shoulders and make him look him in the eyes. Jongdae never really felt like the youngest of the group. There were times when he took care of Baekhyun better than he had taken care of Jongdae; kinda like right now. 

“Look, it’s nothing,” Jongdae tried to calm him down. “Just another baseless rumour. We’ve been through dozens of those. We’ll just let this one blow over like all the others.” 

Baekhyun’s eyes flew to Minseok’s to ask him a silent question, the only question he would ask in this situation. Without even getting an answer, the devastation in Minseok’s eyes said it all. 

He thought he might vomit. 

“Let me see,” Baekhyun said, frantically reaching for Jongdae’s phone. Hesistantly, Jongdae handed him his phone which was still opened on the article. 

Scrolling back upwards, Baekhyun barely skimmed the words before he landed on a couple of pictures of what was unmistakably Baekhyun and Jongin in front of his house, kissing. That was last night. 

Jongdae was right, you could barely tell it was them, what with the dark lighting and the way Jongin’s face almost covered his. 

Baekhyun stared and stared at the pictures, willing them to disappear, trying to wake himself up from this nightmare. Because this _was_ a nightmare, the worst nightmare he could possibly ever have. 

“How?” Baekhyun breathed out, stumbling a bit into the cool wall of the kitchen, feeling faint and dizzy and sick as he tried to remember what had happened last night. Trying to remember if there had been anyone to witness the short kiss they had shared that night. 

“Baekhyun,” Minseok said, alarmed as he saw Baekhyun’s knees buckle. This time he surged forward. 

Baekhyun met his worried eyes with his panic-filled with ones, his blood-chilling at the thought of how he had suddenly just been exposed for all of the world to see. Not just his relationship with Jongin but his sexuality as well. Something he hadn’t even been able to admit to one of his best friends, let alone the whole world. 

“How?” Baekhyun repeated after Minseok hadn’t answered him. 

“It’s okay, Baekhyun,” Jongdae said comfortingly from behind Minseok now. “We’ll clear this up. You don’t have to look so worried. I think the worst they can do is make you stay away from Jongin for a few days.” 

Minseok and Baekhyun met each other’s again before looking at Jongdae, a pit of bile and acid settling on Baekhyun’s stomach. 

“What?” Jongdae’s brows furrowed at the look they gave him. “It’s not like –,” 

He paused as he suddenly took in Baekhyun’s expression. His panic. 

“Jongdae,” Baekhyun started but he couldn’t find anything to say, all the words getting stuck in his throat. He wanted to apologize to Jongdae for keeping it a secret, he wanted to apologize to Minseok for creating this mess but most of all he wanted to apologize to Jongin for not being careful enough. 

Oh, God. Did Jongin already know? 

Baekhyun wanted to run to his room and call him up and ask him if he was alright and – well, he didn’t know what came after that. 

But the hurt on Jongdae’s expression as he looked between Minseok and Baekhyun rooted him to the spot. 

“Oh my God, how long?” Jongdae asked in a whisper of disbelief, staring at Baekhyun like he had grown a second head. Baekhyun felt stung at the way Jongdae now looked at him but he figured he deserved it. He deserved all the dirty looks and glares his friends could muster up. 

“A month,” Minseok answered for him. 

Yes, a month. Baekhyun could hold a relationship for only as long as a month before every thing came crashing down. 

Jongdae stayed silent and Baekhyun took that as an opportunity to sort his thoughts, straightening up from his slumped position on the wall, Minseok taking a step back now that he saw that Baekhyun seemed to be breathing better. 

“Do you know how bad this looks, Baekhyun?” Jongdae asked suddenly and it caught Baekhyun off-guard, his heart stopping in his chest. 

“Excuse me?” Baekhyun looked at Jongdae in alarm. The expression he saw there was something he couldn’t understand. Hurt, worry and – and something else Baekhyun couldn’t identify. 

“Dae,” Minseok said warningly. 

“Do you know how bad this looks?” Jongdae repeated, ignoring Minseok focusing all of his attention on Baekhyun who only stared at him in shock. “He’s our dance instructor. People have been seeing you out around the town for weeks and suddenly this scandal,” 

Baekhyun winced at the word ‘scandal’. 

“– comes out,” Jongdae continued. “Those stupid articles about you dating girls in the past was one thing but _this_? Articles and _proof_ that you’re gay, Baekhyun? This is a whole different thing.” 

Baekhyun looked at his best friend with disbelief and heartbreak. 

“Are you saying,” Baekhyun said, confusion and anger lacing his tone. “Are you saying that my being gay is the problem here?” 

He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that Jongdae, kind and caring Jongdae, would _judge_ him for loving the “wrong type of person for him”. 

“A warning would have been nice,” Jongdae said, not answering Baekhyun’s question as his gaze slid to Minseok’s, a hint of betrayal there. “From both of you.” 

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun found himself saying, all of his earlier fire being drowned by guilt. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you at first. I just didn’t know how you would react.” 

Jongdae’s face became stony. 

“Well, you must’ve assumed I’d react badly if you still didn’t tell me after a month of dating. A _month,_ Baek. When were you planning on telling me?” Jongdae demanded. 

Baekhyun threw his hands up in frustration at himself, at what was happening, at not being able to call Jongin immediately. 

“You’re reacting badly right now!” Baekhyun argued. 

“Because the both of you kept a secret from me!” Jongdae shouted back. “I’ve never once, held anything back from the both of you.” 

His tone had gone soft – sad at the end. Baekhyun risked a glance at Minseok. Because it wasn’t just his secrets that had been kept quiet. And his heart broke again when he saw the sadness in Minseok’s eyes and the longing and Baekhyun wondered if he was still waiting for the answer Jongdae had about his sexuality. 

It didn’t seem likely to come. 

“We’re sorry,” Minseok began, getting in between them. “But Baekhyun wasn’t ready to reveal it yet, Dae. You have to respect that.” 

Jongdae looked at Minseok with a deep frown on his face before moving past the both of them without another word or look at Baekhyun. They heard his door slam shut. 

Minseok looked over at Baekhyun with a sigh. 

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun murmured as it hit him that this was the first fight the three of them after the three of them were declared to become a group. 

“It’s not your fault,” Minseok told him firmly. “Understand that? It’s not your fault.” 

Baekhyun nodded, trying to get the words through to his head. 

“I guess I’m going to have to go out there and pretend the article never happened?” Baekhyun sighed, running a hand down his face. 

“I think that’s for the best for now.” 

“I’m going to get an earful from the managers, aren’t I?” 

Minseok gave him a pitying glance. 

“Yes.” 

Baekhyun drove the three of them to the company office, awkward silence in the air, already having called Jongin as he got ready. 

“Baekhyun,” Jongin answered the call. “It’s okay.” 

Baekhyun had to chuckle at how he tried his best to soothe him. 

“Why are you guys trying to comfort me?” Baekhyun laughed a bit, the weight on his chest lifting a little at the sound of Jongin’s voice. “I wanted to ask how _you_ were dealing with it.” 

“I’m fine, Baekhyun. The pictures aren’t even that incriminating. If we just ignore it, it’ll all just blow over,” Jongin reassured him. 

They continued to reassure each other as the call progressed, making sure that the other was fine and that they’d stay safe and out of trouble for the rest of the day before ending the call. 

“Bye,” Baekhyun said, already sad that he had to end the call and have to face a few hours without hearing his voice. 

“Bye, Baekhyun. Please don’t worry too much about it. We’re going to be fine.” 

“Okay,” Baekhyun nodded, taking a deep breath and readying himself to face the day and already looking forward to the evening where he knew he’d probably spend in Jongin’s arms. 

Walking into one of the board rooms in the building, Baekhyun steeled his heart for the scolds of his managers, higher-ups and producers. Jongdae stayed silent the whole time, not offering his opinion which Baekhyun wasn’t sure was good or bad. 

Minseok stayed true to his words from the night Baekhyun had admitted his feelings for Jongin and defended Baekhyun whenever he needed defending but Baekhyun was doing well on his own. 

The world was different from the way it had been it was in the past. It was more open now, more accepting of people from all walks of life with all types of sexual preferences and though Baekhyun hadn’t checked yet, he knew that some of his fans were angry and hurt and probably cursing his name as they spoke but he was confident that some of them – hopefully most of them – would be accepting and love him even more. 

If they believed the article in the first place. 

The managers around them didn’t look impressed at his argument but they conceded as long as the problem doesn’t escalate. Baekhyun had to promise to do his _absolute best_ at hiding the relationship from now on and for the two of them stay away from the public eye until something else came up and his issue was buried in the dust. 

To be honest, Baekhyun didn’t expect them to be so lenient with him. 

Maybe, the world was indeed changing? 

When Minseok and Jongdae left to go practice their duet, Baekhyun headed over to Chanyeol’s studio, trying not to feel _too_ hurt that Jongdae still couldn’t meet his eyes. 

Baekhyun opened the door to Chanyeol’s studio to find him lost in thought, staring at various buttons and instruments that lay before him, barely noticing that Baekhyun had entered the room. 

Plopping down on the couch, Baekhyun sighed. 

“Are you angry at me?” Baekhyun asked him, looking at him beneath lowered lashes, trying to gauge Chanyeol’s expression. 

“Actually,” Chanyeol began, smiling crookedly at Baekhyun. “I’m angrier at myself that I never noticed.” 

Baekhyun laughed and shook his head. 

“I _did_ do a hell of a good job hiding it.” 

Chanyeol gave him a cheeky grin. 

“Not as good as I have been.” 

“Must everything be a competition with you,” Baekhyun rolled his eyes before he pausing in shock when Chanyeol’s words sunk in. He looked back at him in surprise, making Chanyeol bellow out a laugh. 

“Well, as good as me and Yixing have been, anyway,” Chanyeol amended. “We’ve been dating for almost a year now and none of you guys ever noticed.” 

“I thought – I just,” Baekhyun stuttered. “I assumed you were just close friends.” 

“I assumed you and Jongin were just close friends, too. Guess we were both wrong.” There was nothing angry in Chanyeol’s voice and it was comforting to have another friend on his side. The thought of Jongdae entered his mind again and he was immediately sad. 

“I think Jongdae doesn’t like the idea of me being gay,” Baekhyun said softly, looking away from Chanyeol’s earnest eyes. Sure, the two of them always bickered and argued like little children but Chanyeol was still one of Baekhyun’s closest confidantes and telling him about his problems usually made him feel better. 

Chanyeol raised a skeptical brow. 

“Did he tell you that himself?” 

“He didn’t look too happy when he found out. But that could also be because Minseok and I had been keeping it a secret from him,” Baekhyun admitted. “I wanted to tell him so many times, Yeol. You have no idea.” 

“I’m pretty sure, he isn’t disgusted with the fact you’re gay, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol assured him and he chuckled when Baekhyun glared at him for his choice of words. “Let the guy get some time to wrap his head around what’s happening. You’ll see everything will work out. You guys have been friends for _years_. I doubt that’s just suddenly going to stop because you figured you liked getting dick.” 

Baekhyun smacked Chanyeol’s arm, a laugh bubbling out of his chest as they burst out laughing. 

“I’m going to take your word for it,” Baekhyun eyed Chanyeol meaningfully when they had finally calmed down. 

“You’ll see,” Chanyeol said confidently. “I’m psychic at these things.” 

Again Baekhyun, rolled his eyes before stretching a bit, getting himself ready for a few hours of recording. 

“What did Yixing think of the news?” Baekhyun asked curiously as he entered the small recording room as Chanyeol went about preparing the track and the sound systems around him. Keeping the mic on at both sides, they continued to make idle chatter as Baekhyun warmed up and Chanyeol set up. 

Chanyeol chuckled and shook his head amusedly. 

“He was practically jumping up and down with joy. Said he’s so happy that you two found each other. He’s always thought that you guys would look absolutely look adorable with each other.” 

“That sounds like Yixing,” Baekhyun laughed, his heart warming at the thought of another one of his friends supporting him wholeheartedly. Now if only Jongdae would do the same and he got to spend a lot of quality time with Jongin, Baekhyun could pretend that article had never happened. 

“I still think Yixing and I look cuter together, though,” Chanyeol said into the mic. 

Again, Baekhyun laughed, thinking that if he were on the other side of the glass he would’ve hit Chanyeol again. 

Of course, it wasn’t like everything was forgiven. Their practices at the concert venue was cancelled for the evening and though his manager tried to reassure him it was because of some other stage preparations (his manager had quickly warmed up to the idea of Baekhyun dating; he just was a bit miffed that Baekhyun had kept it a secret from all of them), but Baekhyun knew better. He knew it was because his company wanted for him to have a low profile while they did damage control. 

It was late afternoon and Baekhyun had nothing else to do. Schedules were shifted a bit, concert practice would start at the ass crack of dawn the next day so that meant Baekhyun couldn’t sleep over at Jongin’s that night but that also meant that he could hang out with him for the rest of the afternoon and evening before he had to go home. 

He had half-worried he’d find people surrounding Jongin’s studio, cameras and blabbering mouths ready but there weren’t any, thankfully. Maybe they were still skeptical of the article. 

Good. 

Noticing Sehun’s car up at the front and the unlocked door, Baekhyun just walked in. Standing around the paint-filled room always made Baekhyun feel a little bit calmer because every single painting around him was a piece of Jongin. And Baekhyun loved every part of him. 

He could hear soft voices from above, assuming that it was Sehun and Jongin talking. He climbed on up the stairs to meet them. 

“Jongin?” Baekhyun called out. “Sehun?” 

“In the kitchen, Baekhyun,” Sehun answered. 

There was a sound of a door slamming shut as Baekhyun reached the second-floor landing and turned the corner to find Sehun wrapping ice cubes in a damp cloth. Baekhyun eyed it curiously before looking around the apartment for Jongin who was nowhere to be seen. 

“Where’s Jongin?” Baekhyun asked. 

“In the bathroom,” Sehun answered, taking the makeshift ice pack toward the same direction of where he had claimed where Jongin was. Baekhyun followed, worry now gnawing at the bottom of his lip. 

“What happened? Are you hurt?” Baekhyun asked a little bit louder so that Jongin could hear as he followed Sehun. 

Jongin didn’t answer. 

Sehun let Baekhyun stand infront of him as he knocked on the door persistently. 

“Jongin? Let me in.” 

“Can’t, Baek,” Jongin said in his normal, honeyed voice which was a small relief for Baekhyun. He didn’t _sound_ hurt but he’d have to see it to believe it. 

“Why not?” 

“Because I’m naked.” 

Sehun chuckled from behind Baekhyun. 

“That’s never stopped me before,” Baekhyun insisted, moving away from the locked door to head over to Jongin’s bedside table where he knew he kept a few bobby pins because he used them to keep his hair out of his face while he read on the bed. 

“Well, it’s going to be awkward with Sehun in the room, you know,” Jongin said, trying for a laugh but something sounded off about it. 

Sehun only snorted. 

“Come on, Jongin, just open the door. Don’t be stupid.” 

Baekhyun went back to the door and started picking the lock the way he had taught himself all those years ago. Sehun looked on, impressed, while he moved the ice pack between his hands as it melted but the cold didn’t seem to bother him. 

“I told you not to call him, Sehun,” Jongin groaned when Baekhyun gave the doorknob a final jiggle and it swung open to reveal Jongin seating on the closed lid of the toilet seat, scratches on his arms and bruises on his face. There was a cut on his forehead that he held a cloth up to, trying to staunch the bleeding. 

“I didn’t,” Sehun said, moving past Baekhyun who had frozen at the mouth of the door, staring at Jongin, horrified. “He just arrived.” 

Sehun kneeled beside him and started pressing the ice pack to one of many bruises on Jongin’s toned arms. 

Jongin’s eyes finally flickered up to meet his eyes. There was a little strain on those brown eyes Baekhyun loved so much, most likely from the pain. 

“It’s not as bad as it looks, promise.” Jongin tried to smile at him but he winced when it stretched a scratch on his cheek. 

The wince snapped Baekhyun out of his shocked state. 

“Stop trying to comfort me,” Baekhyun whispered, moving to kneel on his other side. “What happened?” 

“I tripped,” Jongin said, handing over the cloth he held up to his forehead when Baekhyun held his palm open for it. The scoff that crossed Sehun’s lips told Baekhyun otherwise. 

“Please tell me the truth,” Baekhyun pleaded as he helped cleaning the wounds, noticing the open first-aid kit open beside him, a little bit relieved that the scratch on his forehead had started to stop bleeding. 

“I really _did_ trip, Baekhyun.” Again those dazzling eyes met his and tried to convince him. 

“Yeah, after being chased by a couple of crazed fans driving a couple of vans,” Sehun murmured, making Baekhyun snap his attention to him then back to Jongin. His noisy mind emptied into terrible silence. 

Would this day never stop getting worse? 

“You’re not helping, Hunnie,” Jongin heaved a heavy sigh before capturing Baekhyun’s attention again with a hand to his chin. 

“Most of this _is_ because I tripped but yes, I was chased down but they didn’t hurt me.” 

“Much,” Sehun added. 

Jongin rolled his eyes but amusement glittered in his eyes and Baekhyun was suddenly grateful for Sehun being there because Baekhyun was feeling very faint, he seemed to be having difficulty breathing. 

“I’m okay. I always expected that something like this was going to happen anyway. I’ll get used to it.” 

Baekhyun shook his head. 

“But that’s the point Jongin. I don’t want you to get used to things like this. Hate comments on social media is one thing but physically hurting you? It’s bullshit.” 

Baekhyun’s worry and fear for Jongin morphed into fury the longer he stared at the wounds on his face and arms. Baekhyun gripped Jongin’s arm and inspected the bruises there. 

“How did you get these?” Baekhyun murmured, running his fingers down them gently, afraid of hurting Jongin more. 

“Some of them pelted me with rocks,” Jongin shrugged and Baekhyun started trembling. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Jongin tried to reassure him again but Baekhyun wasn’t having it. Sehun stayed silent as he cleaned Jongin’s other wounds, looking away from the both of them. 

Baekhyun stood up, shaking his head. 

“It is,” he simply said before turning around to walk out of the cramped bathroom. “I’m just going to clean the washcloth.” 

Even to his own ears he could hear the sadness and emptiness in his voice. Jongin sighed from behind him before starting to talk to Sehun in a low voice, too quietly for Baekhyun to hear as he crossed the bed, the living space and into the kitchen. 

He wasn’t even aware that he was biting his bottom lip so hard it had started to sting as he tried his best not to cry. Crying wouldn’t do him any good now; neither would it help with protecting Jongin from _saesangs_ that Baekhyun had no control over. 

Running the washcloth under the water, watching blankly as Jongin’s blood wash away and into the drain. 

No matter how many times people tried to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, he still couldn’t help but think that it was. He was the one who hadn’t been cautious enough to make sure they were away from peering eyes before getting intimate yesterday. He was the one who kept their relationship secret from Jongdae. He was the one with the obsessive _saesangs_ (he had never liked calling them fans) who thought that they were entitled to every part of Baekhyun’s life. 

“I’ll handle it,” Sehun said suddenly from behind him. Baekhyun looked over his shoulder to see him there frowning, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his hands wet. 

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun found himself saying again as he stepped aside. In his mind, it seemed like he would never be able to apologize enough. 

Sehun didn’t tell him that it wasn’t his fault nor did he tell him that it was all okay. 

“Just figure out a way that it doesn’t happen again,” Sehun said plainly, taking over for him as Baekhyun nodded soundlessly. 

Okay, at least that was something to do. It was better than sulking and staring and drawing out blanks. 

“I’ll be downstairs,” Baekhyun called out to Jongin in the restroom. He couldn’t bring himself to go back inside. He had a feeling that if he did, he’d fall to his knees and never stop apologizing. 

“Okay,” Jongin answered, sounding a bit relieved that Baekhyun sounded a bit better now. Typical Jongin to worry about Baekhyun when he was the one hurt. 

“Come back up again when we’re done here. I want cuddles.” 

Baekhyun let out a little laugh and a shake of his head. Cuddles did sound really good right about now but Baekhyun started down the stairs, taking his phone out of his pocket to call his manager. He was tempted to press on one of the various social media apps on his phone, his thumb dancing across them but he decided against it, knowing full well that each malicious and judgemental comment would be like a punch to the face. 

He’d look through them when he was in a better state of mind. 

The call with his manager about the incident that had happened to Jongin lasted all of 15 minutes wherein his manager had even suggested that nothing be done and just move on to which Baekhyun growled at him. There was no way Baekhyun was just going to let that go. 

After Baekhyun had insisted something needed to be done, his manager said that the best they could do was make sure the media heard about it. There were already claims and posts on social media that they had seen something fishy going on and that they had seen Jongin running away from what seemed to be a few cars. 

Baekhyun sighed. It was true. There wasn’t much they could do about it without actually addressing the fact that Baekhyun and Jongin were in a relationship and that Baekhyun was a homosexual. While his company discussed the best route of action, they suggested that Baekhyun keep out of the loop for now. 

There _were_ a few ways that they could address the problem but Baekhyun wanted a bit more time to think any decision through. To be honest, revealing his sexuality didn’t seem like such a bad thing to do – his fans had a right to know and if some of them decided to leave because of that then, 

At least Baekhyun would be left with the fans that truly accepted him. 

But this issue didn’t just affect him which is why it wasn’t something so easily decided upon. His members could also get hurt from it, their group could also suffer the consequences of his actions. At worst, disbandment or a more probable hiatus. 

He plopped his butt onto the stool Jongin used when he painted as he let himself be hit with how much shit he was actually in. 

Their 3rd concert tour was just starting and it was the worst time this issue could have ever surfaced. 

Baekhyun pouted. He didn’t like addressing his and Jongin’s relationship as an ‘issue’ because it was anything but that. 

From behind him, he heard Sehun and Jongin walking down the stairs, talking normally as if nothing had happened, as if Jongin wasn’t battered and bruised. He glanced over his shoulder to watch their descent, Jongin giving him a wide smile when their eyes met, undeterred by his current state. 

Sehun nodded at Baekhyun as he passed by and Baekhyun wondered if he was still a bit irked that his friend had gotten hurt. It was alright, he had the right to be angry. At least he and Jongdae weren’t trying hard to make him feel better like the others were. 

Baekhyun didn’t deserve to feel better. 

“You’re leaving already?” Baekhyun asked Sehun as he went straight for the door, Jongin standing behind Baekhyun and wrapping his arms around him in a backhug, resting his chin on top of Baekhyun’s head. 

“I’ve got work,” Sehun said, smiling over a shoulder at Baekhyun. “I only came over because Jongin seemed so desperate that you not know but since you’re here and he’s all cleaned up, my job here is done.” 

Baekhyun nodded, Jongin following the dip of Baekhyun’s head. 

“Thanks again, Sehun.” 

Sehun only winked at them before walking out the door. 

“Don’t worry, he isn’t angry at you,” Jongin murmured as if he could read Baekhyun’s mind. “He understands that it isn’t your fault. He just got worried when I called him and told him that I was bleeding and a couple blocks away from my apartment and he should come pick me up.” 

Baekhyun winced at the mention of Jongin bleeding. 

“I get it,” Baekhyun said, twisting around in Jongin’s arms to look at him, studying the bandages and scratches and frowning at each and every one of them. 

“I’m okay, Baek, honestly. I’m a big boy.” 

Baekhyun chuckled, patting him on the shoulder before hopping off the stool and pulling him upstairs where they could get more comfortable. 

An hour into lying across Jongin’s chest and just enjoying his warmth while Jongin read a book and Baekhyun scrolled through social media, a thought crossed Baekhyun’s mind. 

He knew – he knew that those words written in those little comment boxes, those posts were nothing but that – words. He couldn’t understand why they could hurt so much. How each of those people behind those screens had known what to say to strike through to his vulnerable heart. 

Without even realizing it, his heart not even fully agreeing to that plan, Baekhyun made a shaky decision. 

“Am I really worth all of this trouble, Nini?” Baekhyun asked him, keeping his eyes downcast, afraid to read the expression on Jongin’s face when he felt him but down the book in surprise. He liked reading people’s faces whenever he talked to them. Baekhyun believed that he could see their true feelings in the first split second before a mask falls into place. 

He was afraid to see what Jongin might actually think about it. 

“What are you talking about?” Jongin asked him confusedly, taking him up into his arms before sliding down so they both lay on their sides face to face. “I don’t understand.” 

“I mean,” Baekhyun took a deep breath, knowing full well that he sounded stupid but he couldn’t help feeling that way. “Is a relationship with me really worth having to keep it a secret from the world, worth being thrown curse words and degrading insults on social media, worth being chased down and being thrown rocks at?” 

This time, Baekhyun couldn’t help but search Jongin’s brown eyes for the answer. 

“You are worth all of that and more,” Jongin said in a serious tone. “What do those people know of how much I love you? What can they say, or do, that could hurt me now?” 

Baekhyun’s heart stopped as he heard the words, ‘I love you’ spill out of Jongin’s mouth. They had never said it to each other, though Baekhyun had wanted to say it for the longest time. Jongin’s eyes widened a fraction when he understood the surprised expression on Baekhyun’s face. 

Reddening, Jongin blinked, his mouth opening and closing, at a loss of words. 

“That’s unfair,” Baekhyun pouted, his heart hammering in his chest, his whole face burning when he realized how close their bodies were. “I wanted to say it first.” 

Jongin giggled and closed his eyes when Baekhyun leaned forward to plant a kiss on his lips. He was going to pull away but Jongin held him there and deepened the kiss until it left the both of them breathless. 

“I love you,” Baekhyun breathed out when he pulled away. Jongin smiled at him but it quickly turned into a frown when Baekhyun sat up with a sigh and a hand through his hair. 

“I love you enough to consider that I may not be the best for you.” 

“What?” Jongin laughed humorlessly in disbelief. 

Baekhyun looked down at him lying there on the bed and his heart clenched at the sight of him, all that perfect tan skin and broad skin but then his gaze moved to the bruises – the wounds on his face. Being in his arms was perfect and more than anything Baekhyun could’ve asked for. The thought of a future without Jongin by his side seemed almost impossible for Baekhyun to even handle. 

Jongin now sat up with him, looking at him in confusion and distraught. 

“You can’t just say that you love me, kiss me like that and suddenly say a break-up line, Baekhyun.” Jongin frowned at him. 

Baekhyun looked away. Yes, he loved Jongin more than anything else right now and to see him get any more hurt than he was now would _kill_ him. He didn’t want to be selfish enough to subject Jongin to a life like that. 

“I’m not worth getting hurt over, Jongin,” Baekhyun shook his head. 

“Today it’s this,” Baekhyun waved a hand over Jongin’s wounds. “Tomorrow they could hurt you even worse, or break into your house and ruin your paintings or they could shout at you out in the streets.” 

All of which Baekhyun had experienced in the past and he’d rather die than let Jongin go through that – that hell. Jongin may be strong and carefree but being subjected to those vicious words, each like a bullet through the chest would be impossible not to feel. 

While Baekhyun drowned in his thoughts, Jongin grasped the sides of his face and forced him to look at him and once again he was pulled into a world where it was only him and Baekhyun. 

“Baekhyun, baby” Jongin softly began. “The only one who can hurt me at this point is you.” 

“That’s not true,” Baekhyun shook his head. “Scroll through my phone and see just how much other people’s words can hurt.” 

Jongin looked to Baekhyun’s discarded phone on the bed, frowned delicately at it. 

“Stop basing your worth from the words of people that don’t know you, Baekhyun. They don’t know you. Not really. Don’t let them make you see yourself for everything you’re not.” 

Baekhyun snorted, pushing away from Jongin’s grip, standing up and off the bed, feeling the need to walk somewhere, to not have to look at Jongin as he tried to do what he needed to do. 

“My career is based off from what they think of me, Jongin. From the moment I debuted, the moment I stood up on that stage, I became someone to be watched. And then the moment I ask for privacy, they’re all like, ‘Oh you want some privacy now? Who the fuck do you think you are?’” 

Baekhyun could feel his tears overflow as he ranted on and on, saying the words he had never even said to Minseok or Jongdae or Chanyeol. Part of him knew he was being ungrateful for all the love his fans had given him and he knew that he was a piece of shit of talking about them that way but he couldn’t help himself. 

He loved them all. His stars lighting up his path but sometimes – sometimes he wanted to be loved the only way Jongin could love him, too. 

Jongin watched him, hurt and confusion on his face. 

“What does that have anything to do with _us_ , Baekhyun?” 

“I can’t love you without getting judged and you can’t love me without getting hurt in the process and I don’t want you to get hurt, Jongin.” 

“Who are they to tell you who to love?” Jongin demanded, standing up from the bed and towering over him. “Who are they to tell you how to feel? You do what you love, what you need.” 

Baekhyun shook his head adamantly, his heart finally settled. 

“Not if it means you have to get hurt.” 

Jongin threw his hands up in frustration. 

“Don’t I get a say on what’s happening right now? I’m fine, Baekhyun! I’m okay! I know you’re worried about me. I know you don’t want to see me get hurt, that’s why you suddenly want to break-up with me so you can protect me but there’s no guarantee, _none at all,_ that they’ll stop if you break up with me against your will now. That’s only going to hurt the both of us. You hear what I’m saying, right?” 

Jongin took Baekhyun’s hands in hisand grasped it tightly, desperately. 

“I love you,” Jongin said so firmly that sound of it embedded itself in Baekhyun’s bones. “And I would go through any type of hell for you.” 

Baekhyun laid a hand across his cheek and noticed that he was crying as well and shit, it broke his heart to see him cry again. To be the reason why. 

“But I won’t ask you to,” Baekhyun whispered, afraid that if he said it any louder that it would match the crack in his heart. 

“Please,” Jongin sobbed. “This isn’t going to solve anything and you know it. You’re just having these thoughts because of what other people said. You love me.” 

Baekhyun wanted to give in to him so much, wanted to go back into his arms and wipes those tears he had caused away. 

“I do. So so much.” 

“Then, stay. With me.” 

“You’re the one leaving tomorrow,” Baekhyun let out a chuckle that wasn’t at all amused. 

“Then I’ll stay and I’ll never leave your side if that’s what you want.” 

“Jongin, you don’t understand,” Baekhyun argued. “I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to stay. _I_ don’t want to go through the same shit I went through back then. It’s too much.” 

Jongin froze as he processed the words and Baekhyun was ready to drop to his knees and beg for his forgiveness because that was a lie. Baekhyun would gladly go through it all again and again and again if it meant that Jongin would stay by his side. If only he was the only one who would get hurt then he would. 

But he wouldn’t be the only one so he couldn’t. 

“I’m… too much,” Jongin breathed, every heartbreaking emotion on his face and Baekhyun could feel the hot tears cascading down his face as he mirrored the look. 

“I just can’t, Jongin,” Baekhyun choked out, seeing now that those words were the only ones that would sway Jongin to let him go. “I can’t deal with it again.” 

“That changes things,” Jongin stepped away from him finally and without his touch Baekhyun felt numb, empty. 

“I – ,” Baekhyun cut himself off, pulling himself together. “I hope you understand.” 

Jongin’s eyes were downcasted now, avoiding Baekhyun’s pleading one and he wondered if this how Jongin had felt like when Baekhyun had looked the same just a few minutes ago, helpless. 

“If that’s what you want,” Jongin hoarsely said, sitting down slowly and dejectedly back unto the bed. 

“It’s what we both need.” 

It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince Jongin. 

__

_Not bad. Not bad._ His mind seemed to chant. 

_But bad enough_ . 

Staring at the blank piece of paper on his desk, Baekhyun wondered what to write because this time he was writing as himself and not anonymously. Trying to find the words to apologize for what he had said was hard. He hadn’t meant to make Jongin feel like he wasn’t worth it. 

God, he was worth more than anything in this whole universe. 

Baekhyun tried to express that into the letter he was writing. A letter he planned on slipping under the door to his house tonight. 

Jongin’s flight was at 6am and Sehun was going to pick him up and send him off to the airport as was discussed even before the break-up. 

Baekhyun hadn’t expected to feel so empty. He thought he’d come home crying after leaving Jongin’s apartment in a rush, knowing that if he stayed any longer his resolve would break. But he felt so empty, so numb to everything that he half-thought he was in shock at what he had done. 

But being numb was better than remembering how it had felt to kiss Jongin, how it felt to feel his arms around him, how it felt like when the world around fell away until there was nothing left but the two of them. Because remembering even one thing about him was a stab through the heart. 

He let all those unsaid words bleed into the piece of paper, hoping against hope that Jongin would truly understand this time and that he’d be alright. 

Just as he was getting in to it, sure he was going to start crying any minute now as his vision blurred and his hand started shaking, the door to his room opened. 

Baekhyun whirled around quickly to hide the tears, patting them away with the sleeves of his sweater, getting a whiff of Jongin’s fabric conditioner and it hit Baekhyun like a stack of bricks. Looking down at the soft material, he realized it the sweater Jongin had lent him only a few days ago. 

“Baekhyun?” Came Jongdae’s voice. 

“Yeah?” Baekhyun croaked out, spinning back around to see Jongdae at his door, looking hesitant to come in. 

“Jongdae,” Baekhyun said in surprise. “Hey.” 

“Listen, Baek, I’m sorry about this morning,” Jongdae began. 

“You don’t have to worry about it anymore, Dae,” Baekhyun tried to wave it away, his heart aching because saying it out loud, made it seem more real. “I broke up with Jongin.” 

Jongdae looked at him, crestfallen. 

“No, I didn’t want that to happen,” Jongdae said sadly, finally closing the door behind him and taking a seat on Baekhyun’s bed. “That’s not what I wanted to happen at all.” 

Baekhyun raised a brow. 

“But I thought you didn’t like the fact that I was dating? And a guy, no less.” 

Jongdae shook his head, suddenly distressed. 

“No, I was actually happy that you were dating,” Jongdae insisted and Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“Then why – ” 

“Because I was jealous,” Jongdae cut him off, softly. 

“Of what?” Baekhyun reeled back in surprise. 

“How long have you known you were gay, Baek?” Jongdae asked instead of answering the question. 

“The moment I realized I was attracted to Jongin,” Baekyun answered immediately. The sound of his name another shot to the heart as he remembered what it had been like to fall in love with him now that he was trying hard to suppress all of his feelings again. 

“I –,” Jongdae took a deep breath. “I think I’m in love with Minseok.” 

Baekhyun stared at him in pure, undiluted shock. 

“What?!” Baekhyun exclaimed loudly and Jongdae shushed him, afraid that Minseok would come in. 

“I was jealous that you were open with your sexuality and that you acted on it,” Jongdae continued. “I’ve had these feelings for Minseok for so long, it’s been a normal thing for me to stare at him and long for him and do nothing about it. And then I found out that you two have been keeping a secret from me which made me angry but then I realized that I had been doing the same to you two so I got angry at myself for being angry at you two.” 

Baekhyun allowed him to talk as his mind processed everything. How different it could have been if Jongdae had had the courage to admit that he was gay to Minseok first or vice versa. Baekhyun’s first thought was to say that Minseok was in love with him, too but then he remembered how furious he was at the gossip channel that had taken away from him how he had planned to come out to the world. 

Baekhyun sat there speechless just as he had been when it was Minseok sitting there on his bed and telling him basically the same thing. 

“You’re in love with Minseok,” Baekhyun repeated, dumbfounded. The three of them must’ve been the luckiest people in the world for the people they loved to love them back. 

“Yes,” Jongdae nodded, blushing. “So I’m sorry I got angry this morning. I was being a hypocrite. And now – now.” 

Jongdae looked at him sadly. 

“Now you and Jongin broke up.” 

Baekhyun tried not to let the words sting him again as he sighed. 

“I had to break up with him, Dae,” Baekhyun said. 

“But you were so happy. I haven’t seen you that genuinely happy in so long. I think that’s a huge part of why our group has been in such a good mood this past month, Baek. You were practically glowing and I know it was because of him.” 

He might’ve been happy but Jongin had been getting hurt. 

_No, that’s not true_ , a part of him said. _He loves you so much. You_ know _how happy he was. How happy we were._

Baekhyun clenched his fist around the pen he held. 

“I know,” he breathed. “Maybe when we get all of this cleared out and he isn’t in danger of being chased around then I’ll crawl back to him and beg for his forgiveness.” 

“I heard about that,” Jongdae frowned. “Is he okay?” 

Baekhyun nodded absentmindedly before turning back to the letter he still hadn’t finished. 

“Hey, Dae.” 

“Yeah?” 

“After I finish this letter, do you want to go out on a walk with me?” 

Baekhyun finished the letter in half an hour sniffling as Jongdae watched him sadly. He forced Jongdae to tell him all about his crush on Minseok so he wouldn’t break down all the way. Jongdae obliged with a red face. 

“Minseok, Dae and I are going out,” Baekhyun announced as they passed their eldest member who was seated in front of the TV, a beer in his hand. He looked between them confusedly but was relieved that they seemed to be getting along again. 

“Uh,” Minseok stared at them. “Okay. Be careful.” 

And with that they were off, the letter Baekhyun had written clutched in his hands. The night was oddly warm and it felt nice to have a walk around with a friend. 

“I guess we could grab some snacks from the convenience store on our way back,” Jongdae suggested. 

“I didn’t bring my wallet so you’ll pay for everything,” Baekhyun said, making Jongdae grumble and glare at him before the two of them started laughing. 

It was nice that he got to walk to Jongin’s house with someone there with him. His heart pounded unevenly in his chest with each step they took that brought him closer. 

“Why don’t you try confessing to Minseok,” Baekhyun asked Jongdae after telling him the gist of his and Jongin’s relationship to distract himself. 

“Fuck no,” Jongdae said and Baekhyun burst out laughing once more. 

“Why not?” 

“Have you seen him? He’s practically the straightest out of all of us, even without knowing the two of us were gay.” 

“He’d be gay for you, though,” Baekhyun elbowed Jongdae in the ribs and Jongdae shoved him away. 

“Cut it out. I don’t think he sees me that way and I’d never ever jeopardize our friendship, our group just so I can finally have my crush.” 

Baekhyun fell silent. 

“Also, I don’t want to talk about getting into a relationship when here you are, ending yours,” Jongdae jerked his head to the left and Baekhyun realized with a jolt that they had arrived. 

“I wouldn’t mind,” Baekhyun said, smiling at Jongdae. “If it meant you two were happy.” 

“We want you to be happy too, Baek,” Jongdae frowned at him. “We can all be happy together.” 

“Are you offering a threesome?” 

Jongdae only gave him a dead-panned face and it made Baekhyun chuckle. 

Baekhyun nodded once, signaling for Jongdae to wait as he climbed up the stairs he had climbed up and down a hundred times in the past month alone. He glanced at the envelope in his hand sadly and tried to remember how it had felt leaving that first ever note on his door a couple of months ago. 

He glanced up and saw, without much surprise, that all the lights were closed. 

It was good that he was asleep. He had a long flight tomorrow. 

He slipped the letter underneath the door and whispered goodbye before turning around and walking back down to Jongdae. 

“We could break in and you can take it back and just talk to him instead, Baek,” Jongdae offered when he saw the expression on Baekhyun’s face. 

Swinging an arm around Jongdae’s shoulders both to get them going and to keep himself up, Baekhyun shook his head. 

“No. It’ll all be alright.” 

A loud banging resonated throughout their dorms, rousing Baekhyun from his sleep. The three of them had drunk and talked well into the early morning and Baekhyun figured that the person outside their door was their manager, there to drag their asses to the concert venue. 

Groaning, Baekhyun swung his legs off of the bed, not ready to face a day knowing that he and Jongin were broken up. The thought left him sad and made him want to stay in bed and talk to no one until he pieced himself back together. 

Jongin. 

Baekhyun hoped he and Sehun had gotten to the airport safely. 

Moving groggily toward his door he froze in the middle of his room when he heard Jongdae’s voice. 

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, Jongin.” 

What? 

What? 

_What?_

Baekhyun’s heart dropped to his feet. Was he hearing right? Was he still asleep? Had he finally gone crazy? 

“Please, I really need to talk to him.” 

At the sound of his voice such a feeling of longing filled with Baekhyun that he wanted to throw his door open, run across the halls and jump into his arms. But the memory of their fight last night and what he had been fighting for stopped him where he was. 

“You don’t want to be late for your flight, Jongin.” 

This time it was Minseok’s voice that sounded through to his room. 

“I don’t care. I’ll wait for him even if it takes a thousand years. I’m not leaving until I get to talk to him.” 

Yup. That was Jongin’s stubborn ass, alright. 

Sighing and steeling himself, Baekhyun opened his door and steadily walked over to the three of them. 

“It’s okay, guys,” Baekhyun said as soon as he saw them. Minseok and Jongdae were standing side by side, blocking Jongin’s way politely. He tried not to look at Jongin, his gaze skirting everywhere around him as he looked at Minseok and Jongdae’s worried faces instead. 

“Baekhyun,” Jongin said his name like a prayer and there was so much mirrored longing there that Baekhyun _had_ to look and meet those brown eyes. 

Baekhyun swallowed down the pain that echoed throughout his body when their eyes met. 

“You’re going to miss your flight,” Baekhyun managed to frown at him. 

“I don’t care. We have something much more important to talk about and I can always take a later flight, fuck sight-seeing.” 

Baekhyun blinked at him and he could see the utter determination there and Baekhyun loved him for that much more, when the same couldn’t be said for him who could throw away their relationship just like that. 

“It isn’t about us dating, I swear, but it really _is_ important.” 

Baekhyun didn’t know if he should’ve felt relieved or disappointed when he heard that. 

“Minseok,” Baekhyun said, directing his gaze toward his friend who looked like he was ready to push Jongin out of the door and down to the lobby if Baekhyun asked. 

“Could you give us a moment,” Baekhyun said, giving him a pointed look before jerking his chin ever so slightly in Jongdae’s direction. 

Yesterday, before the three of them had stumbled back to bed, Baekhyun had convinced Minseok to finally confess to Jongdae because Baekhyun had a good feeling about it. They had both been drunk and Baekyun worried that Minseok had been just a little bit too drunk to remember but his eyes colored with realization. 

“Please,” Baekhyun pleaded, both to give him and Jongin a few minutes to talk and for him to finally confess and his two friends will finally get together. He was going to need even a bit of happiness after another round of convincing Jongin that they needed to break up, even though the only thing that would ever make him truly happy was if he finally convinced himself that they didn’t. 

With a nod of understanding and a look of nerves flashing across Minseok’s face, Minseok turned to Jongdae and ushered him outside. 

“Come on, Dae. I have something to tell you, too,” Minseok said softly as he led Jongdae outside, both glancing over their shoulders to look at him and Jongin again. They closed the door behind them, leaving Baekhyun to face Jongin all alone. 

Which was better because he didn’t want them to see him cry. 

“Hey,” Baekhyun said, finally looking at Jongin again. 

“Hey.” 

At least Jongin didn’t look as wrecked as Baekhyun felt. That was a relief. If Jongin had come over crying, Baekhyun might have just thrown everything away and brought him to his arms right then and there. 

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Baekhyun walked into the living room, feeling self-concious as Jongin followed. They sat on different chairs and he finally noticed that Jongin had brought a small box with him when he put it down on the table. 

Jongin offered him a half-smile. 

“You love me,” Jongin said and Baekhyun’s eyes softened. No matter how much he wanted them to split up for Jongin’s own safety, loving Jongin was something he could not deny. 

“I do.” 

“I read the letter.” 

“Great.” 

Jongin chuckled at Baekhyun’s short responses. But Baekhyun was keeping it short because he was sure he might suddenly spout out embarrassing cheesy break-up lines if he didn’t. 

“And I understood two things.” 

From the box, Jongin brought out the letter Baekhyun had written. The sight of it made Baekhyun’s stomach roil with embarrassment even though there was nothing there that Jongin didn’t deserve to know. . 

“One, is that you truly truly love me. Enough that you’d lie to me just so I wouldn’t get hurt.” 

Baekhyun’s face crumpled and Jongin gave him a comforting smile from where he sat away from Baekhyun when all he wanted was to hold his hand. 

“I get it now,” Jongin nodded. “Why you’re being so protective. It’s actually kinda cute if you weren’t so hell-bent on breaking us up but I’m not letting you do that so easily.” 

Jongin grinned cheekily at him and the smile did wonders to Baekhyun’s slowly stitching heart. Baekhyun opened his mouth to protest but Jongin raised a hand to cut him off, leaving him pouting. It was a relief that the atmosphere wasn’t as heavy as Baekhyun had feared it would be. It was like they were bickering like they always were. 

“And the other thing is,” Jongin tipped over the box and yellow notes, a bear, flower petals and a Polaroid came spilling out. The gifts Baekhyun had given him during the weeks before they were together. Baekhyun stared at them in surprise before meeting Jongin’s warm gaze. 

“That you’re writing was familiar.” 

Of course. 

Baekhyun almost face-palmed. 

Of course, he’d be able to make the connection. Baekhyun didn’t even think of it last night. It didn’t matter now anyway. 

Jongin stood up from his seat and walked over to Baekhyun’s and Baekhyun had to fight the urge to open his arms for an embrace from him. Instead, Jongin sat beside him the proximity something they both knew they both longed for ever since Jongin arrived. 

“Why?” Jongin asked him, looking earnestly at him for an answer. “You didn’t even know me back then, Baekhyun.” 

“You were breaking,” Baekhyun breathed out, remembering how Jongin had looked back then. “And I didn’t know any other way to fix you.” 

Jongin smiled at him, so much love and adoration there that Baekhyun could literally feel all of his walls – all the inhibitions he had tried setting up – crumbling down. 

“I was never too much for you, was I?” Jongin asked and Baekhyun wanted to punch himself in the face for even planting the stupid idea in his head. “Because if I were then why would you have taken the time to do all of that for me? It wouldn’t make sense.” 

“You will always be more than enough, Jongin,” Baekhyun said. “But that doesn’t change the fact that a relationship with me – ” 

Jongin cut him off with a kiss, a deep, sorrowful and meaningful one that Baekhyun had to return. 

“Shut up,” Jongin suggested when he pulled away. “I know. _I know_ and I understand the fears you have for you and especially for me but you have to understand that I won’t let them hurt me. You love your fans and I get that, you are so beautiful under the lights that they shine on you but will you not let anyone love you?” 

Jongin pulled him closer, practically sitting him on his lap the way Baekhyun liked to sit whenever they were on Jongin’s couch. 

“Will you not let yourself love me?” 

“Was your plan to seduce me into getting back together with you?” Baekhyun raised a brow at him, amused now and more in love than ever. 

Jongin laughed from underneathe him and Baekhyun felt it spread across his body, his skin, his veins and he decided that he would rather spend the rest of his life making Jongin laugh than making him cry like last night. 

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun said remorsefully, wrapping his arms around Jongin’s neck and resting his forehead on his. “For hurting you last night while convincing you that you might get hurt if you stayed with me.” 

Baekhyun scrunched his nose. 

“You’re right, I do sound stupid.” 

Jongin laughed again before kissing him, both of them breathing each other in. 

“I won’t let those haters,” Baekhyun made a face at the word, chuckling. “ – dictate what I want to do with my life now. I don’t need their permission. I’m nobody’s but yours.” 

Jongin smiled at him brilliantly, dazzling Baekhyun all over again. 

“If people think that this – us – is wrong then I’d rather never be right,” Baekhyun smiled back at him. 

“This little overnight drama is your fault,” Jongin booped his nose. “Why did you have to jump to conclusions so fast?” 

Baekhyun wiggled away from him but Jongin kept him locked there. 

“I’m really sorry.” 

“You’re forgiven,” Jongin said as he leaned in for another kiss but a throat clearing from their right made them look away from each other then to the source of the sound. 

Sehun, Minseok and Jongdae stood there watching them with relieved grins. 

“I was able to book your flight for tomorrow, Jongin,” Sehun said, grinning at them. “It’s great that you guys are back together again. I was seriously considering socking you in the face when Jongin called me crying yesterday.” 

Baekhyun frowned. 

“Sorry. I was being a little bit too overdramatic last night.” 

Jongin chuckled, squeezing his hips with his hands. 

Minseok’s gaze travelled over to the coffee table where the notes were all scattered. 

“I guess the cat’s out of the bag, then?” Minseok smiled at Baekhyun but Baekhyun eyed his fingers that were intertwined with Jongdae’s. 

“You tell me,” Baekhyun smiled. 

“Breakfast before work?” Jongdae asked. 

“That sounds like a good idea.” 

All of them nodded and Baekhyun stood up from Jongin’s lap. 

“I guess we should just eat out?” Baekhyun mused. 

“Invite Kyungsoo out,” Jongdae said. “I’ll call Yixing and Chanyeol.” 

“I’ll try to call Junmyeon,” Sehun offered. 

They all moved at once to get ready for breakfast with their group of friends. Baekhyun sent a wink Jongdae’s way when they met each other’s eyes to which Jongdae only grinned and shook his head. 

Jongin took Baekhyun’s hand in his and gave it a squeeze. 

Baekhyun looked up at him to see him smiling down at him and Baekhyun felt the familiar warmth and happiness fill him once more. 

“I can’t believe you thought a girl was sending you those notes,” Baekhyun scoffed. 

Jongin let out a delighted giggle. 

“Sorry. It was because of your handwriting.” 

Baekhyun playfully glared at him before shrugging. 

“I never thought you’d actually end up using them as inspirations for your paintings, though. You have no idea how flustered I was when I saw that.” 

Jongin only nuzzled his face unto Baekhyun’s hair before planting a kiss there. 

“My one and only muse,” Jongin breathed out. 

Baekhyun grinned up at him and it seemed like Jongin couldn’t hold back because his gaze moved to his lips again before looking him in the eyes once more. 

And at the same time they leaned toward each other and kissed. 

The End 

**Author's Note:**

> Yay~~ Thank you for finishing reading my fic. I admit that the ending seems a bit rushed and there were a few more scenes that I would have liked to have added but wasn't able to because I suck at meeting deadlines but anyway I hope you liked it uwu


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